Sunday, Jan 13, 2019


Woke up with P in Santa Monica. He hits the remote and raises the blackout blinds.

Dawn in breaking, it’s a glorious day..


Do you wanna do breakfast with T? P asks since T texted him, Coffee?

Uh yeah.

That doesn’t sound like a sure yes.

Maybe we can start the day with me and you and first then have T join us for lunch?

That sounds good.


If we go to Farmshop, P says, There’s a 50% chance we’ll bump into T.

So we go to Gjelina.


Can we push these tables together and sit side by side? P asks the waiter, we’ll be out before the place fills up.

The waitress hesitates for a sec but then says yes.

We love sitting side by side in the booth..


As we were about to take our first bite into our breakfast, we spot T and his wife Y at the host stand. We get up and say hello, and they join us. It’s as though we set up the four top table just for them.


Y writes to her baby daughter in a journal. Like, Dear S, today you learned how to walk..

I thought that was the most brilliant idea.

Journaling and writing to your baby.

I wish my mom did that.

But then again, she never even talked to me.

I guess I’ll do that for my baby, if/when I have one.


Y says I can do that with P.

That’s a great idea.

Ever since Aya, I do see him as my baby.


P said La’s always been cool. I said that’s not true. He wasn’t here when it was a pretty unhappening place, back in 2004.

There were barely any decent coffeeshops.

I remember when Culver City was just a place where my friends who wanted cheap rent lived. It was the boonies.

Abbot Kinney was just barely getting cool.

And downtown was a wasteland.

It started getting more interesting around 2007, I said.

That’s when I moved here, T said.


After we parted, I looked up stationary store in LA

Because P was almost reaching the end of his Kakimori (custom made notebook)

There’s Short Hand in Eagle Rock

And Flax Pen to Paper in Westwood.


I had made reservations at Margot for 3 for lunch at 12:30

And at Native for 5 at 7:30


We get to Flax (I haven’t been there since college at UCLA)

But it’s closed

So we head to Short Hand (which is where I wanted to go)


Short Hand was very well curated. Notebooks and pens from Japan.

But P lamented it’s no Kakimori, there are no notebooks that have penholders built in them.

He rhapsodizes about how awesome Kakimori is to the Short Hand clerk.

I feel slightly self conscious that he loves Kakimori too much.

I tell the nice clerk that I love the curation they have.


He gets me my 7 notebooks, and pens and colored pencils.

I asked the clerk if she had any recommendations for lunch or coffee, she like Joy a lot, then there’s Towne Pizza and Donut Friend.


We hopped into Joy to go pee and then decided to stay for lunch. It was a hopping Chinese restaurant, with a small menu. A very foodie scene.


I got the chinesey rice pudding and P got some unidentified cookies (the restaurant carried to support local bakers) for dessert


The guy to the right of us, who finished sipping his tea, offered us his mexican wedding cookie he didn’t touch because it was given to him by the server. We graciously took it. When he left, we both inspected it. The server assured us it was yummy, so P ate it. The when our cookies came, it was two of the same of what P just ate. So we offered our Mexican Wedding cookies to the family next to us. A young Asian couple, the wife had a terrible burn scar on her face and neck. The two kids were about 3 and 4 and were adorable.


We couldn’t stop staring at the pouty Asian girt who wore thought high boots and an oversized sweater and too much makeup.

She was with her boyfriend and just looked super bitchy and pouty. They didn’t talk the whole time.

We tried to speculate what was going on.

Maybe she just wants to slapped around by a big giant cock, I said.

Oh my god. How did you know? You totally read my mind, P said.

Because I was.


After out notebook chinesey food adventure we went back. P napped as I laid ont he biomat and was listening to the Empaths audible


There are certain people I need to avoid

The Narcissists

The Victim

The melodramatic


I think I might have unwittingly invited that into my life last year.


When P woke up I crawled into bed and we both napped.


When we woke up we ventured to Arcana, the art book store I used to visit when it was near the promenade. Now it’s in Culver City.


I got P Moonfire. The book he’s been eyeing forever since we visited the Taschen store in NY, then it became out of print and the only copy available was the 18K one (which comes with a piece of the moon)


P was so happy that NS was joining us for dinner. I changed the rezy from party of 4 to party of 6.


All 4 of us were in out leather jackets.

I sat next to A, who started the Princeton Review.

Like me, he only likes one on ones, and sometimes triads.


We got pretty chummy.


He was very happy that Warren Buffet is endorsing his new book, How to Not Be Stupid


He gave me a copy of his current book, it’s all about love, he inscribed it and feel in love with my Ohto pen, which I gave to him (because I actually got 2 more today at Short hand)


I can tell by the way K was looking at me, that he wanted to get to know me.

He was very forthcoming with his story.

He comes from a billionaire textile family, he mentioned. Several times.


N showed us how to adjust the hue on our phone to bright red, so we can block out blue light at night.

We looked like a strange group of kids with our leather jackets and red-screened iphones


N recruited out help on naming his new real-time murder mystery podcast..

To Live and Die in LA

Lost Angeles


were some possibilities.


N solved a murder mystery in his neighborhood

He ended up renting a room out of the house of the murderer

The murderer is still not arrested, for some reason


He said the dumbest thing he ever did was write Suge Night’s autobiography.

He learned that Suge likes to kill people he works with


N suggested the title of Suge’s book be called

Your Pain is my Joy

And Suge said, funny you say that because I just got that tattooed on my neck

The book never got published, Suge is in jail for running over a woman with his SUV or something


What’s for desert I asked the server even though we were all stuffed.

A vegan sorbet, tiramisu and churros with chocolate and caramel dip.

We’ll get one of each, I said.


K’s eyes lit up when he asked what I did and I told him I was a dominatrix.


P and I drove and were dropping A and A back to their place and K at Erewhon.

In the car ride, K tells me he can tell I have a deep intelligence. And all of you are smart too, he says to everyone else in the car.


K says he just got his first prostate massager today. He’s a biohacker and says he’s been researching the benefits of prostate massage.

Basically, you want to get fucked in the butt, P says to him.

Everyone cracks up.


P says our couples activity is that we like to spitroast girls.

What’s spitroast? A asks, the others are curious too.

Am I the only one who watches internet porn here? P asks.


We drop A and A off at their Venice rental.

And we accompany K to Erewhon.

They don’t have my Alitura facial moisturizer, so we take off and say goodbye to K.


How often are you down here in LA, K asks.

Um twice a month? I say.


Twice a month.

Every other week.

P likes the idea of me coming down here more often.


It was a long mupp adventure day with a nice balance of social and quality one on one time


I think I ate too many churros.


What I consume: lemon water; mint tea, buckwheat banana bread and butter, crispy fried egg and broccoli, more banana bread at Gjelina; thousand layer roll with egg and cheese and sauteed pea shoots, rice pudding, and chrysanthemum tea at Joy (a pretty good foodie chinesey restaurant), life force shot and CBD Inner Peace shot from Erewhon, Sweet Potato Awesome chips; olives, cauliflower, broccoli, chicken, and a ton of other savory things I can’t remember now, tiramisu, churros!, and vegan ice cream at Margot (very yummy and nice rooftop ambiance)


What P got for me: a dusty pink USB cord at CVS,  7 cool notebooks, 2 ohto pens, 4 colored pencils, and little file at Short Hand (a very cool stationary store in Eagle Rock)

What I got for P: Moonfire by Norman Mailer, the out of print Taschen book on the space expedition to the moon (which I thought about getting him that morning, but didn’t think we would stumble upon it as we did at Arcana)

What I got for myself: Shameless Art and The Erotic Bible to Europe by Erika Lust

I Amazoned: Total Orgasm (this vintage book) and Reading Art


Monday, January 14, 2018


Yesterday was so nice and sunny.

And then it turned gray and wet.


Had a breakfast meeting  with A at Butcher’s Daughter

She had some doubt tat I would make it to breakfast because it was raining.


I told her how I am of our connection this past year.

We both got teary eyed.


P arrived after his breakfast meeting with T and a real estate broker.

This cafe/tonic bar is sorta moving forward..


When I first suggested to P that they should serve Erewhon-style tonics, he didn’t really pick up on it.

After my $15 tonic at Erewhon, he gets it now and is shopping the idea.

Like it’s his own.


After breakfast, as P and I drive back we wonder if we have enough time to fuck.


I said we might or might not. But I do have one request. That we break our Aya dieta sex fast with each other first.


Oh, then we should have sex today, P says, because A is in town this week and we might fuck


I quickly packed. P helped by gathering all my books and notebooks and vitamins and clothes scattered all about.


We haven’t had sex in a month, it seem.

It’s cool how connected we are in spite of no sex.

I used to think sex was our glue.

Whenever there was tension in the relationship I attributed it to the fact that we didn’t have sex in a while.

And here we are, more connected than ever, and no sex.


And then we had sex

to Ayahausca ikuro music.

It was lovely and powerful.

Tears flowed.


Then we went to Erewhon.

Got lunch at the hot bar. A first for me. I got salmon and the seasonal veggies that just came out of the oven.

And I got another $15 Jing City tonic.

The eating area was packed on a rainy day at lunch time but we slid right in as a couple left.


P says he loves the conversations that we can have. It ranges far wand wide..


The he took me to JetSuiteX in Burbank


I like how my LA weekender began and ended with Erewhon,

Which is almost Nowhere spelled back backwards.


This cafe idea and the kakimori-like custom made notebook store P wants to open

They’re projects that makes me want tocome down to LA more so I can be a part of it.

It’s all part of his plan, P says, to make LA super cool so I’ll come down here more often.


We both reflected, this was the perfect LA weekend.

And the beginning of our new LA chapter together..



I flew back to Oakland.

P2 picked me up.

We went to to the studio,

Apparently the faucet in the dungeon came off, water was blasting for a sex, and L had to take off, so I came in and screwed it back on.

(water spilling forth theme)


P2 and I contemplated

To wash or not wash Cutie


I took off as P2 put away the folded towels.


I came home for a minute.

My Lascivious milla bra was in the mailbox.

And my Ohto pen refills.


Heated some beef bone broth.

Broke my Aya dieta and consumed beef.


Then I went to my aerial class, it was a larger group, 10 gals of varying degrees of experience.

It was really fun.

The instructor and I have very similar tastes in music,

Band of Horses and Neko Case.

Brought me back to 2005- 2008.


Then afterwards I stopped by Berkeley Bowl West, picked up some salmon and black cod, miso, palm oil tealights, a pretty flower, the bill was 135


This one man whom I chatted with in line months ago came up to me and asked what flower I was holding. It was an exotic one I didn’t know the name of.

He was surprised that I remembered his name, R. The same name as the sub I sessioned with on Saturday and who took me to the airport afterward.


There’s a slight palindrome: P2, R, airport, Erewhon…Erewhon, airport, P2 R


I took a hot shower when I got home..

I called my mom.

She was complaining how the hosecleaner used some chemical-y product that tarnished her brand new bathroom fixtures.


And the glass door to the shower broke in  transit so its installation got delayed..


I asked if she started making soup.

She said she made a clear consumme with spinach.

That’s good, I said.

I told her about my leak.

She says she sees a crack in the island, she’s concerned.

I have her take a picture of it and send it to me.

She snaps and sends. I receive and inspect.

I don’t think it’s anything, mom. I think you’re okay.

I said we can get that moisture detector tool and we can know for certain.

She likes that idea. She wants to know for certain it’s nothing.

She’s been traumatized by plumbing issues with the house.

I try to calm her.


And then I went to bed..




I ate a ton of yummy and totally off diet super sugary and lectiny foods in LA. I feel slightly pudgier, but know I’ll be back to my normal self if I eat well and cleanly again.


I love our notebook and bookish weekend.


I’m so grateful that I have two amazing homes in two awesome cities.

I’m so grateful that P and I are hitting this incredible groove in our relationship where the communication is so fluid and solid.

I’m so grateful that this is my life.

What I consumed: Mint tea, eggs benedict avocado toast, a little bit of P’s croissant dipped in his latte at Butcher’s Daughter (meeting with A2); sauteed seasonal vegetables and salmon and Jing City tonic at Erewhon (before heading to airport), beef bone broth and yucan crackers (before aerial class), and maybe something else?

What I spent money on: $54 on breakfast for me and A2 at Butcher’s Daughter, $16 on Jing City tonic at Erewhon, $135 on groceries (salmon, cod, miso, etc) at Berkeley Bowl

Weather: It was pouring in LA and wet in Berkeley

Tuesday, Jan 15, 2019


A texted me last night. He’s in Tahoe dipping the Tulsi Sleep tea I left for him. Thinking of me. He wants to see me this weekend.


I had a very telling dream…

I praise this professor guy, I love how we combines history and autobiography into his project..

I missed my high school reunion parade, the cheerleader classmate said I should’ve been there.


Which reminds me, S2 wants to see the video of my graduation valedictorian speech. I located the CD my dad gave me which has a copy of it on it. It’sthe only copy I have, I need to digitize it..


I just got the paperless invite from K, she’s throwing a bday party on Feb 9tht the same night as mine.

Oh shoot.

I really wanted to send out my invite this past weekend..

Oh well, my party will go later, and maybe we can stagger and combine ours..


I masturbate and came, and texts P.

He replied. That he masturbated this morning too.


P asks what I think of this text he’s about to send NS. He has suggestions for his murder mystery podcast he wanted to share. I said it looks good but he might want to send it via email instead of a long text, which could come off as a LDV.

P says good idea, and that’a DLV, he corrects me. Which stands for Demonstration of Lower Value. It’s a pickup artist lingo.


B comes over at 11:11. I make us cacao tonic with everything in it. It has a kick to it.


Life is good except he’s been burning cash and jobless for the past three years. And now he has to think about what to do for work.

We’re in the same boat, I tell him.

(Well except I know what I’m going to do for work)

My dream would be to hire him as a full time pervetter.


I show him the map I made of him and his talents.

He’s good at curating lavishly indulgent experiences. I think he should be the chef for my orgies and gatherings and help me produce erotic videos.


I show him the pervette pages map and my color coded legend.  We go into wordpress and I show him how to tinker with the mobile version of my pages.

We discuss Pervette birthday party plans. It seems like my birthday cake was barely eaten every year. Maybe we should make a Honey Mama’s cacao nectar house or something.


B makes the soy sauce glaze for the salmon while I make the stirfy.

We enjoy our first meal we made together. Which is something B has always wanted to do, cook with me.


He takes off at 1:25.

I skype with S, my web designer.

It’s been a while.

She says she likes what she sees.

We tinker with the font of pervette and some other tiny technical things.


Afterwards I chat with P, he was at Erewhon eating lunch.

I ask what he’s up to, he says he’s going to meet with A11 at Primo Passo.

We’ll call A11 the other Asian domme he fucks. The one I never met. The one whom I have a negative anchor point with because in the height of my big storm period with P, he turned to her and the tasks she gave him seem to drive him further away from me and her intentions have always seem unclear. And my friends who were once friends with her are no longer friends with her. Beware, they all tell me, SHe can’t be trusted.

If I didn’t ask what we was up to, would he say what he was up to? Eventually, I’m sure.

I actually don’t care too much about his relations with her, now that our foundation is solid.

Tell A11 I said hello, I said.


I notice a pattern, whenever A11 pops up in P’s life, A, my lover, pops up in mine.


The A’s seem to keep our open relationship balanced.

I ask P how long he’s planning on staying in town when he comes up this week.

I want to know to see if I can see A this weekend or not.

P says he’s unsure, he could either stay till Saturday or Monday afternoon.

Everything, as usual, is always up in the air.


I masturbate, came pretty hard.

Went down the IG rabbithole for half hour.

Then I started journaling to you.

I’m finally caught up.

My writing is quick and dirty.

Just here to recount what happened.


If I can can create the hair page guide for my friend tonight, I will feel slightly productive.


It was pouring.

The leak is still there.

I just heard the water drip from the cutout hole in the ceiling into one of the Aya puke buckets.


I’m not that hungry. My body wants to fast after my gluttonous weekend in LA.

What I consumed: lemon water, a cacao chocolate protein with everything hot tonic I made for me and B, salmon (B made) and purple cauliflower, broccoli, carrot and shitake mushroom stir-fry (I made) for lunch, walnuts, more sips of the tonic, no appetite for dinner


Wednesday, January 16, 2018 8:50pm


Dear U,

It’s dumping rain out there.

I’m kinda too tired to write right now.


I spent most of the day creating this hair guide for my childhood friend who’s experiencing hair loss.

She doesn’t know I’m a domme. Yet.

She’s friends with my sister and her parents are friends with my parents.

In a way, if she’s curious, and clicks on, I’m slightly outing myself to her.

Which can spell drama if word gets around to her folks and travels back to my folks.

My mom would be pretty upset.


Speaking of hair, I went to Walnut Creek today at 1:30 and got a scalp micropigmentation touch up on my crown.


It was this past Sunday when P2 asked if we should get a sharpie and fill in the white part of Cutie’s ear where her black fur got matted down and separated and you can see her white lining underneath. I said I dunno, that doesn’t feel right. And yet here I am..


As a trichotillomaniac, I like the way the needle feels on my scalp.


I listened to Greg McEwon’s Essentialism during my session and the ride back.

Just 4 more minutes and I’ll be done with the audible.

I think I’m becoming an essentialist.


Pervette is my essential


When I got back around 3, I had this manic energy in me so I jumped on the hoop and played around.

P was watching me through the camera and started talking through it.

I see you Little Mupps..


We started chatting. He was feeling horny and lost and was tempted to go back on Seeking Arrangements or reach out to Asian domme network but then he decided to call his favorite Asian Domme.

That’s me.

(which is nice to hear)

He’s excited that NS texted him in response to his email he sent him yesterday about his podcast suggestions for him and N wants to get together with P to brainstorm about his podcast this weekend. P’s feeling puffed up and says maybe he should tell N he’s busy in SF this weekend. I suggest he head back to LA sooner than Monday so he can catch him this weekend and the not the next before the invite loses its momentum.

Good idea, P says. He’s glad he’s talking to me.

He thinks he wants to get high and watch The Right Stuff.

He’s been even more crazy obsessed with the moon landing ever since i got him Moonfire.


I text A to let him know I’m free Sunday evening to do dinner and hang.

He replies, Perfect.


I made a lotus root, carrot and walnut stirfry (with ginger and garlic). A first for me. I love throwing things together in a stir fry. It was quite yummy.


I did the dishes and cleaned the kitchen mindfully.

Boy am I tired. I should meditate. And read.


I’m gonna take a call with A, the love addict in London at 11pm.


What I consumed: lemon water, chaga/magic/everything tea, salmon and my veggie stirfry from yesterday (for lunch), diced coconut (from Erewhon), lotus root stirfry (for dinner) and a mint chocolate truffle for dessert, more tea

What I Amazoned: Deflect (this lectin block supplement) and Dragon Herbs Astragalus tea (which was recommended by K over dinner Sunday night) and Double AA batteries for my recorder

I ate mindfully, I got on the hoop, I created the hair page on pervette.

I meditated after my call with A4, and words came to me…


Thursday, Juan 16, 2019 12:00pm


Dear U,

So much has happened.


The call with A4, the love addict.

She was so meek and broken.

The more she loved and clinged on, the more he pushed her away.

I felt my Domme Mom instinct kicking in..

At the end of our call, I gave her a choice..

She can continue traveling with her boyfriend as he pushes her away or he she can ditch her immature boyfriend and their trip to Thailand and come out to the Bay, come to my birthday party, be surrounded by awesome people,  and the following week, come to the Breakup Bootcamp I’m teaching at so she can rewire her heart so she can move on and become a dominatrix.

The seed was planted.

I can hear lightness in her voice..


I couldn’t stop thinking about A4 after our call. I mapped out what I wanted to say to her..

I meditated.


I started reading the Autobiography of Gandhi

Deeply inspired by his

Experiments with Truth.


My letter to Pervette flowed from pen to pad..


Slow morning.

I marinated some miso cod without mirin (I threw three bottles of mirin away when I was decluttering my spice cabinet)

I meditated.


Read the beginning of Leaving a Trace

So glad I went to Sleepy Cat Books and got that book and Gandhi’s autobiography


P calls. Neil Strauss is inviting him a dinner in Feb

AND they’re gonna hang out this Sunday.

All of a sudden P feels like the popular guy.

He says he can’t believe he lived thorough most of his life unaware of how he came off to others.

He knows he’s always been an interesting person, but just completely sociably clueless.

Now that he’s nailing this social piece, a whole new world is opening up to him.

I’m so happy for him.


It’s our job to teach our boys how to become the man of our dreams.


P’s been really into calling me, sharing with me his days, staying longer on the phone.

I’m present for him.

But I’m also aware

Time is ticking…


I have exactly three weeks till my birthday.

To give birth to Pervette..



I got the mail.

There were two books

Self-Help by Lorrie Moore (a book in 2nd person)

and Neil Patrick Harris: Choose Your Own Autobiography (another book in 2nd person)


All these autobiographies are inspiring me to write out the memoir parts of pervette

In my dream the other night, I was encouraging someone to write their memoir and attach it to history..


I thought I was going to microdose today. But my body is already feeling strange.

Whenever I feel strange, that’s a sign I ought to meditate.


S2 texts asking what’s my friend’s name wh will be joining us tonight so he can write out her tribute card. I text H what name she wants to go by, she says she had to retire her old name because of politics, she said she’ll 30 minutes to think of a name. I imagine her old name was Isis.


I spent most of mid-morning and afternoon writing a letter to A4. I was feeling quite charged. And excited to help her


I read more of Attached. I want to understand the anxious and the avoidant well and be able to offer the best advice I can to A4

And A when I see him this Sunday.


I took the Attachment Style test.

I am a very Secure person, according to the results.


I forgot the keys to the dungeon so I had P2 come and meet me, he helped me set up. He said he had bad news, Mary Oliver died today.

One of his Cutie posts on Tumblr got flagged as adult content and was taken down.


Did you feel the earthquakes yesterday and this morning? P2 asked.


One was at 4:44am and the other was at 6:14am.

I had no idea I was such a heavy sleeper.


S2 brought me 5 bags of red walnuts. I’m set for the next two months, I think. He cracked open a bottle of white wine.

He said I should definitely have kids. 2.


S2 said he would get along with my dad. You know why? he asked.

He’s autistic?

No, because he’s a Trump supporter.


If you ever want to talk politics sometime let me know.

I’m not really into politics.

I know you’re not.

He explains something about the wall, social security and something.


S2 says he wishes he was P or A.

He thinks I’m in love with A. That there’s something there. More so than there is with P.

That’s interesting that he thinks that.


What should we call your friend? S2 asks.

I dunno, maybe the beauty formerly known as I?

How about Nubian princess?

No, don’t bring race into it.


H arrived 30 minutes late. She was in a sad place earlier, she said. Her new name is D. It fits her.

She looks beautiful as always. She loves teal and tan, I think she was a peacock in her past life.

It was my first time inviting her into a session. She said she’ll follow me. I just wanted to see her do her sensual massage thing, which was hypnotizing, and left S2 in a trance.

I like him gagged.


When I drove her home, she said she was going through an existential crisis earlier. I told her we should get together..


P usually spies on my through the security camera and starts talking to me at night. Not tonight. He’s with A11 at Delusion. And most likely fucking her.

Even though my friends tell me not to trust her, and I have no idea what her intentions are, it’s nice that it doesn’t bother me at all anymore.

I guess I really am secure now.

And so is my relationship with P.



What I consumed: lemon water, brain tea, red walnuts, miso cod and lotus stir-fry I made for lunch, olives, blueberries, miso cod and my everything salad for dinner, 3 cosmic mint truffles, some white wine S2 brought


Books I’m Reading: Leaving a Trace, The Autobiography of Mohandas K. Gandhi, An Invitation to the Great Game (A’s book he gave me), Essentialism (finished on Audible), Psychic Empath (finished on Audible), Attached

Weather: It wasn’t that rainy by evening (at least that’s what I remember)



Friday, Saturday…


When you don’t hear from me, it just means I’m having some pretty packed days filled with peeps

Whom I’m being very present for..



Friday, January 18, 2019


From what I can remember

Change of plans..

P was supposed to go strait from airport into the city but his meeting was rescheduled from 12pm to 3pm so he got breakfast and went home to Mupp HQ instead.

It was already a tight morning for me, tidying up my mupp mess (notebooks, markers, books, everywhere) getting ready for my session, and packing my outfit for M’s bday party tonight

I was present for P when he came home and wanted to talk through what he was feeling about the company and how he’s coming around from feeling butthurt that the meeting got rescheduled last minute to maybe it’s a good thing so he can take this time now to nap before he ventures out into the city.


I listened, mirrored his feelings. Then I said I have to go get ready, he followed me into the barthroom and continued chatting as I showered

I feel like a mom, listening, attentive, patient, but aware I have much to do

P feels like my excited little boy who wants to tell me everything that’s going on


I asked about his night last night with A11.

He said it was interesting. Nothing went according to plan. The immersive theatre thing he got tickets for was for Feb 14, not Jan 14th, as they found out when they arrived.

Then they decided to get dinner. She wanted Gjelina but it was packed. Then they opted for Plant Food Wine but that place was packed as well.

Then P suggested going to Erewhon to buy things to cook, and so he made her dinner.

He worked out a giant knot in her shoulder

Then he put a butt plug in her and gave her a good pounding.

He says his favorite look on girls’ faces is when they wince from it going a little too deep.

“Oh yeah, that’s the second tone” I said in a dude voice, referring to to his two tone cock.


I pack my outfit for the dungeon and for the bday party in the city later tonight, and kiss P g’nap as he tucks himself into bed..


It’s been a ritual now

P2 arriving at the studio before me to help set up the dungeon for my session.


Today he was upset to read in my journal that my sub from the night before was a Trump supporter.

“Doesn’t he know that Trump wants to put people like you in prison??”

I told him it actually doesn’t do him or the world around him any good to get upset. In order to create any positive change he needs to take care of himself first, and not let the negativity around him get to him.

He defended himself. Am I supposed to do nothing when there are idiots out there who are..?”

I took a different approach, I empathized, “I know it sucks..”

“But I want you to take care of yourself..”

I told him he has Cutie for the next 24 hours. Just play with her. I also gave him my Dipa Ma book to read.


Session with J..


P met me at the dungeon, we drove in together, I dropped him off..


Chase bank,

Stonehill Matcha,

Beloved cafe

Getting ready with A2..

Mingling with the who’s who of silicon valley at M’s bday party


I wanted to thank M for creating Wordpress, the platform I’m using right now to build Pervette, but the timing wasn’t quite right, another time..


Swooping P up at Bergerac.


Long day in the city..

What I put inside me: lemon water, walnuts, Urban Remedy Cacao Chip bar P got for me, matcha tea and and matchasuzuke (rice, salmon, and matcha tea bowl, it was quite yummy) at Stonehill Matcha, an aphrodisiac elixir at Beloved and cacao ball and fruit energy ball from Beloved which I shared with A2 after we were done getting ready; canapes, pickled carrots, some cheese, fig bread at M’s bday party

What I spent money on: $25 on matcha tea and matchasuzuke at Stonehill Matcha, $20 on an The Lover elixir and yummy cacao and fruity balls at Beloved, $12 on uber ride from Cerf Club to Bergerac to A2’s place

Themes: Lots of sessions, fancy parties with tech socialites, friends with fancy modern SF houses, spending time with A2 in LA and SF, being super social with P, gotta work on the bday invite, babies and families…

Weather: Sorta chilly, little cloudy, not raining

Had the most mindful walk down Valencia




P and I packed a ton of photo gear for the Birthday Invite Photoshoot

It reminded us of the old days, when we were falling in love and P was hauling all the fancy photo gear from city to city taking pictures of me for social media

Here he is again, doing just that..


Session with new client, a young petite Asian fellow, very fun


P and his brother came to the studio, showed R the dungeon, then P and I took off for the city


A and I got ready (repeat from Friday night)


As P snapped photos from us putting on our makeup

Oh wait, he says, there’s photos on this memory card from 2 years ago,

Of an Seeking Arrangement chick getting ready

P likes taking photos of girls getting ready, putting on their makeup

And her with a pony buttplug

Sucking his cock..


I gave A2 my matching AP lingerie to wear


The veil was smooshing her eyelash extensions

She was very uncomfortable

She was such a trooper

P was balancing himself on a chair, taking pictures of us from above, sweating like crazy

His energy was frenetic..


It’s a wrap.


We head to N and K’s


A2, P and I were in awe of their 2 year old, N, running towards us to open the door. He got so cute. His laughing smile is infectious


Their new house was insane

6500 sq ft, multi level, sleek and modern, their kitchen cabinet s opened electronically

Their upper floor is essentially one giant 3000 sq ft room

K did a great job decorating and making it cozy, with low sofas,

Tulum boho chic

K’s mom (who looks like she can be her sister) came over to take care of the baby and toddler, something about seeing the three generations, family, babies,

N saying this is the meaning of life right here (he’s talking about kids)


N said he felt like he almost died when he did Ayahuasca, he was outside eating dirt to stop himself from hyperventilating..

And he realized you don’t take anything with you when you die.

The only thing that matters is how much you loved


What I consumed: Urban Remedy Cacao Chip bar, walnuts, So Delicious mint ice cream with A2 and P; a little bit of white wine, salads from Blue barn, sweet potatoes,  Tuna sushi rice and seaweed I rolled up myself, nibbles from N’s 100% cacao chocolate stash, Adagio hazelnut tea at N and K’s place

Themes: babies, families, hanging with A2 in LA and SF, sessions, being social, social circle is expanding to very accomplished entrepreneurs, domme workshop

Back to my previous week