July 8, 2019 12:01pm Monday,
On a train from Exeter to London (en route to Lisbon)

Dear U,

It’s been a while since I felt in the mood to write. Yesterday I was in restorative monk mode after the Wedding. I can’t tell if it was all the people and buzzing energy and cannabis and some alcohol or if I was just in a meditative state, or both.

All I know is that when I’m in that state, I don’t feel like talking or doing much. But I somehow managed to be in a social castle, among our friends and still conserve energy. I think it was the look on my face that I had all day, like I’m happily out of it.

I’m on a train now, with P, L&S and T. We’re in a first class car. P and I got the 4 top table, so I have my two cups of tea, laptop and Cutie. The view outside the giant window are bright green hills and dark green trees. It’s very pastoral or bucolic or whatever that SAT word is to describe lotsa green.

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On this trip, it’s becomingly clear to me that I know how to handle P now, through all the emotional vicissitudes. It’s rare when it happens, but he still gets a little stressed when it comes to transportation, as he was today pulling up our train tickets and carrying both our giant suitcases (mine weighing half my body weight) up and down the stairs to platform 5 and trying to find car D.

We never found car D, we ended up in K, with L&S, in seats that were reserved for somebody else who never made it. It all worked out, because the 4 top seats are more spacious and were near our friends.

I think I’m learning to not let P’s anxious energy get to me, when it rises. My calmness can trump his anxiety and in my non-judgmental way, I can actually ease him. By acknowledging his feelings, the situation and not reacting and staying cool and neutral when he gets short. I think he appreciates that because he quickly catches himself and and within minutes he collects and is back to smiling goofy mupps.

My awareness makes him more aware of himself and us.

I have this feeling that with each rise and passing of his emotions, and me being fully present for it, something is happening. I can sense his respect and appreciation for me growing.

Maybe it’s too soon in the trip to say, but maybe not. I feel like with each trip we’ve been having, it gets better and better. Our relationship, our quality time spent together. If I could only measure the ratio of our lips curling upwards or our laughter. But at least I have the recorder going, and you can hear smiles through the tone of words.

Now this non-stop amazing time could also be that a lot of our trips are with our crew of friends, who all don’t have real jobs or stressors and know how to have fun, and that make everything more fun.

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Today was the first day in the trip that I have some energy/desire to craft a tweet. I’ll post it when I’m at Heathrow in London. Funny how I always post when I’m leaving a city. I feel inclined to, just so my friends and subs who are reaching out and not hearing from me know why I’m not responding.

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When I look around social media (which I don’t do often) I feel that slight bit of anxiety and self-doubt. Shouldn’t I be broadcasting my glamorous whereabouts with more frequency? Everyone seems to signal their highlights, displaying how amazing their lives are.

I feel like the minute that I do stop to post, I lose that moment. It’s not for me when it’s for the world to see.

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I remember the early days of being so on top of my social media game, now it feels so old. That game.

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Funny how when I write to you now, I just want to tell you what’s exactly on my mind, and not recount all the days that I’ve spent not writing/reporting to you what happened.

Maybe I’ll go back at some point. When I feel like it.

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My iPhone clock has finally recalibrated itself to England time. I was going off California time this whole time.
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I’m still not sure if I’m going to head back after Lisbon or got to Venice and the alps of Italy with P. We’ll seee…

In other parts of parts of the world: two big earthquakes hit SoCal.

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5:11pm
On a plane from London to Lisbon

Dear U,

Me, P and Cutie are sitting in row 2, T in row 1 (seat 1A of course) and L&S are in aisle 5.

It’s been a day of planes, trains and automobiles, on a clockwork timetable. With some close calls at the train stations and airport.

It’s nice to roll around with P and friends. I’m surrounded by fun weirdos. All of them have brains, bitcoins and a wicked sense of humor. Everyone in the group has a decent amount of money, except for me and Cutie.
.

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Wednesday, July 10, 2019 5:31pm

Lisbon

 

Dear U,

I’m here with A2 across from me at the long table in the study of our hotel. It’s been a while since I wrote to you last. When there’s so much going on, it’s just hard to find time to report and reflect.

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This morning I woke up with P. He went downstairs to breakfast first.

When I came down to to the dining room, there was P and T.

P was on his laptop booking flights for us to Italy.

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I came in as P and T were saying something about leaving a trail of cancellation fees where ever they go.

 

T is taking off a day earlier than planned, to the Aman in Venice, which by now I see is his typical modus operandi.

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A2 arrived for breakfast, she brought all her stuff and is all ready and excited to check in..

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Our chef brought us some bread, yogurt, fruit as usual. He prepared a chickpea and soft boiled egg dish.

I had the soft boiled egg and yogurt with strawberries..

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A2 got checked in and whatsapped us, OMG the room is amazing!!

her room was right next to T’s.

It was HUGE. Three times the size as ours. Double vanity and double shower, and 2 closets. And it felt cooler temperature wise than ours. This was definitely the room that we wanted, but wasn’t available for our longer stay. In a way I like that we gave A2 what we wanted. By we, I mean P since he’s the one

She hugged and thanked us for this gift, of an extra day and stay in Lisbon.

“It’s always more fun with you, A2 Doodle” I said in my muppety voice

(A2 Doodle is her nickname)

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Yesterday I said to A2 I like the idea of us being each other’s photographers when we travel since P gets very lazy about shooting when we travel (I mean I get pretty lazy too).

 

Today, me and A2 got to do a photoshoot in her room, we put on some lipstick and took turns being the photographer and model. I like playing photographer more than she does, I think. I think I’m prolly also a bit more patient than she is. Happy to keep on snapping away until she felt like she got it.

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I took pics of her by the window. She took pics of me in my veil in the marble tub. She liked mine so much she wanted to replicate it herself with the veil, which she was not that comfortable wearing with her eyelash extensions.

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After our shoot, me, A2 and P went to lunch. We got to Heim Cafe around 2pm, sat outside, and I got 2 dishes.

I really wanted a big salad, but it seems like salads are not a typical item on the menus even in these high vibing places. I got a quinoa tuna salad without the quinoa and an 2 eggs sunny side up with toast and butter and mint tea

What I put in my body:

Breakfast: special tea+dandy blend, plain yogurt with strawberries and housemade granola, the softboiled egg in the chickpea egg dish the hotel chef made

Lunch: a quinoa tuna salad without the quinoa and an 2 eggs sunny side up with toast and butter and mint tea

 

 

 

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11:44pm

 

Dear U,

We just came back from a really fun night at Ramiro. This seafood institution.

There was a crazy crowd waiting outside to snag a table. Thank goodness S made a reservation 2 weeks ago and they only accept reservations for party of 6 or more.

 

It was me and P, A2, L and S, T and S2.

We were seated upstairs, where the lighting was warm (downstairs it was fluorescent) at a table by the window. I think we had the best table in the restaurant (you know how I like a really good table).

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This was the opposite of last night’s 14 course dinner.

It was very casual. Except for mangos and pineapple at the very bottom, the menu was all seafood- fresh and local-by the pound.

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I didn’t think I was in the mood for just a ton of seafood. I was craving salad..lotsa greens.

It was insane..ly good.

 

Me and S, the two asian girls in the corner were the last ones polishing the platters of fresh caught seafood, the barnacles and tiger shrimp.

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I ate so much my stomach started to hurt as we were walking to Gelados Santini. It hurt worse when A2 and P made me laugh.

Other

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Wednesday,

Dear U,

I just woke up about half hour ago.

I’m starting to become like P, I noticed, because I was thinking about where I want to fly to for a day or two after Italy.

The plan was London, but I can go anywhere, really.

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Funny how I was uncertain and wondering about whether I should go to Italy with P and the group all of last week and finally decided on Tuesday that I will go to Italy.

And then yesterday I was wondering how many days should I stay in London on my way from Verona to LAX.

And now this morning the possibilities has expanded to where else in Europ do I want to do a quick drop in?

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And I’m also picking up by osmosis, the desire to travel more minimally, almost everyone in our group travels lightly and minimally other me, the girl that has 10 books in her bags.

I’m inspired by L&S, how they shipped a box of stuff home from Bovey Castle to lighten their load. I think I’ll do that tomorrow before we take off for Italy.

I can definitely ship back:

-a ton of clothes from the wedding and stuff I know I won’t wear in this warm weather (like my 2 pound leather jacket, which I only wore once)

– 6 books or so that I know I won’t read in this trip

-a some of the bags and notebooks I got in London

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I think I got self-conscious when T came into our room to borrow a book from me for his day trip to Comporta. There was my exploding suitcase with a fuck ton of stuff and plastic bags and just general untidiness.

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A2 never checks in a bag. She travels only with a carry-on. That’s incredible.

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I think my thing is I pack like a homebody. I want all my home rituals to travel with me..and at home I’m surrounded by books, tinctures, notebooks, pens, stuff…

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Today, I think I’m gonna try to hit the giant botanical garden greenhouse and the yarn store for my mom.

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And plan out the rest of my trip in Europe.

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I haven’t really told you that while on this trip, even though I haven’t physically worked on Pervette. I’ve been thinking about Pervette a lot. And reading this book (Do Story) onhow to tell my story and I’m getting more clear on the structure on pervette and how I want to carve out the rabbitholes..

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I’m thinking no on the 2nd person memoir style.

And leaning towards a simulation of you having a relationship with me..

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SO maybe there was a subconscious reason why I didn’t move further than I did in my 2nd person choose your own adventure

Funny how I have an idea, get excited, execute, then lose steam, and a little later, there’s a better way to do this, but it required all of the steps before to get to my thinking and planning now.

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Since Tuesday afternoon, when I was on my computer with A2 in the study, I’ve been noticing that I have the energy and drive to write to you, to record and write as fast aas I can what’s going on.

I like this feeling..

Friday, July 12, 2019 past 1:21p

 

Dear U,

It was a day of traveling.

I sorted out the stuff to be shipped back to Berkeley. Lots of notebooks, books, shoes.

That lightened my load by 11 pounds.

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We might need a bigger box..

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P tapes up the box, OCD style and brings it down. 10 min later

A woman from the hotel comes up to our room and says that DHL requires a lot of info to ship the box, like a desc of each item and its price.

Clothes, one thousand dollars, says P

Uh, okay, she replied.

Cothes and books., I add.

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I packed as P went out for both breakfast and lunch. I wish I had time to go out too.

I have a lot of stuff to pack and ship back.

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P brought me back a chevre salad and fresh green juice.

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The car from the hotel that was taking us to the airport was a 1970 Rolls Royce.

It was my first time in a Rolls Royce..

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P was a little concerned that I was eating my salad in the vintage car en route to the airport.

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..

 

We were greeted right as we stepped into the gate by a man holding the Aman sign, he helped us with our luggage.

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Then we hopped on a fancy speedboat that zipped the two of us through the canals to Aman, which was right on the water.

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I’m pretty certain this is the most over the top Aman I’ve ever been to.

It’s housed in this insane mansion from the 1400s.

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Rolls Royce to the Lisbon airport (from LIS  to VCE) then boat from airport to the Aman. Jesus.

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It was 8:30 when we got checked in, we quickly got out to wander around and

get lost a  little in the alleys and streets of Venice.

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Saturday, July 13, 2019 11:44pm

From the Aman in Venice to Rosa Alpina in the Dolomites

 

Dear U,

 

 

I woke up from a vivid dream this morning, not knowing where I was at and then I realized, Whoa, I’m at the Aman in Venice.

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P got breakfast al fresco by the dining terrace overlooking the grand canal while I showered and got ready..

By the time I was ready, P was done with his breakfast.

As he was showering, I went upstaird to the mirror room to get breakfast. Even though we were in that same room the night before, I wanted to see how the frescoed ceilings in the blue room .

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I wasn’t feeling particularly hungry (even though the scruptous a la carte breakfast was included) so I got the carrot, orange ginger juice and pineapple spiruluna juice with lemon tea. I added my vitamineral green mix to the green juice.

P jioned me and got a cappucinno.

Funny how we were seated at the same table from last night, next to the window overlooking the canals.

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Themes:

 

Back to my previous week