March 2, 2020 1:40pm


Dear U,

I feel the need to write to you again.. To share with you my crazy days, living out my dreams. It’s so important to record this time. To show you how I do it.

I’m torn between living and reflecting..

I’ve been using all this energy into creating and connecting and then my whole day fills up with Magic,  it’s happening all the time and naturally I don’t have time to stop and share it with you.

One of my biggest fears is that I will forget. I will forget these magical moments..

I know I will remember the broad events as it’s all recorded in my planner, and pretty fresh in my mind, and most of them are shared with others and so I have their memory as well.but what about..

How I feel from moment ot momen , what my appetite was like, what the weather was like, what flowers are blooming (early this year), the

I have my audio recorder, I have my planner and food log then I’ve been recording with pen and paper. But I remember now how good it feels to just sit down and write to you..


I’m still wondering where this writing to you should exist. Should I keep it on the voyeur level? Or should it be moved to the seeker level? Where there’s a true exchange, 11.11 for me sharing my days with you..


I think it should be moved to Seeker. If you pay for this I’ll definitely be more incentivized to keep up with my journal. Wow. Money is such a good forcing functon.


Okay, so it’s decided. Or maybe I’ll play around. And give you a sneak peak of my journal on the voyeur level then move it to the seeker level. I love how I can play with you in this way..


Where do I begin?

This morning This day? This week?


How about this day?

I woke up and meditated for 22 min. Then took a Facetime call with L. We talked about the next steps with this house..

I told her that I told P that her bf can back us up and give us a loan if we can’t get all the money for the down payment in the time that he wants, which was reassuring to P.

L understood how P needed to hear that another man with money is involved to feel we can make this work. But she thinks we don’t need her bf, we can do this ourselves. She has awesome credit, makes a lot of money on paper and has owned property in SF.

God, who is this incredible 25 year old that I’m about to be in business partnership with? She blows my mind.

She says, she wants to make sure I’m compensated more for the work I do. What do you mean? I said.


She says she’s good with bookkeeping, budgeting, legal stuff and if I want I can handle the creative day to day stuff.

That sounds perfect. Everything I’m not good at, she is.


I told her that I’ve been praying for a miracle, some divine intervention that will help P change his mind on selling the house and I can take over and use this space to build a community and make art and love in.

It turns out that she was the miracle.

She said this is exactlywhat she needed, a landing pad when she takes sessions in SF. And a place in nature.

It’s too perfect.

I can’t believe I’m going to be in a business partnership with L. My crush, the object of my fantasies and wild visions. She wants to help me save this house and make it the space of our dreams.

You have no idea what crazy dreams I’ve had  about me and her partnering together.. I know we can spread a message pretty far and wide with our wits and tits. Both are tits togeter are kinda unreal. And then our creative minds combined. I know whatever we create together has the potential to go viral..


Then I had a bizness call with A2.

I caught her up on all the exciting news:

How I met M, my heroine. We microdosed together in a beautiful villa in Ojai. We connected while she made tomato soup for all of us. She was moved by my “session.” I shared with her my vision of us healing the intergeneerational wounds of our home country and restoring the herstory of the Vietnam War. She got chills hearing that. She said I was the older sister she always wanted and never had.

We had this feeling that we were sisters in another lifetime finally reconnected again.


We know we both manifested each other at the right time.


Oh and then days after that I had a threesome with P and his sugarbaby, X. She reminds me of L, young, brilliant and slutty as fuck.

We spitroasted her. That’s what P really wanted, just like old times.

I’m happy I got to sit with her and have her share her experiences, desires and boundaries..she’s so sweet and open..


I love that I’m the older wiser one that she looks up to. I love this role I’m taking on. With P.; It feels like she is our baby, that we get to fuck. It’s the best.


I told A2 how I’m hiring X to be my girl Friday. I want her to get into evertything that she wants experience in: marketing, event producing, design..

So both you and P are paying her money, but for different things..

Yeah..P is paying to fuck her and I’m paying her to co-create with me.


We talked about Powerplay..

Collaborating with CultureTrip to curate an experience

.We caught up on our love lives..

I like the idea of having intimacy time with our partners. Sex always wanes in a relationship but it doesn’t mean we can’t have time for intimacy..


I read the google doc that X sent me. It was her journaling her sugarbaby experiences and creating a Sugarbaby Guide.

It’s so good. I sent X a voice message, telling her that I want her to write ad share her story and words on pervette. I want her to carve out a place in Pervette for her words and art. I saw her words overlaying her art. I saw a book, where we write our story of coming  together, her perspectiv eon the left side, mine on the right…

Maybe P’s cock  right down the middle of the spine, since it was his cock that broguht us together.


I can’t believe we’re living out our dreams, all three of us. I love this triadic relationship. I see X is my baby sisterwife, my muse, my girl friday, my friend, my baby domme..


Everyday I’m in awe that all my dreams are coming true..


This is what magic’s the realization of your dreams. And my aim is to show you how to make magic.



Went for a Whole Foods run to stock for the #corona pandemic


Called mom to twll her the news, I’m gonna try to keep this house with my friend. SHe was happy to hear that. She’s been praying for me that I would be able to keep the house, every day. I thanked her  and said her prayers were heard.


She said my sister just called her earlier to give her good news. She made a bog transaction today. One of her clients got their house sold at 2.7M, tha’ts 1/2 M morethan they expected. Everyone is elated.

Mymom is happy. It’s a day of receiving good house news from her daughters.  One sold a house, the other is keeping a house..

We’re all talking about the coronoa virus. Crazy how thisis becoming the dominant piece of conversation these days..

All the pasta was cleared, and so were the canned foods. I’m glad there were plenty of the fancy Tonnino Tuna fillets in the glass jars. I got 20 or so of those in a variety of spices..jalapenos, capers, lemon and garlic. And I got 6 of the Patagona Provision salmon fillets.

2 jugs of the Ancient Organics Keto Protein Powder.

Some forbidden black rice, red rice and basmati.

$747. Whoa Jesus. I kinda went crazy, didn’t I. I used the Amex P gave me. It’s for “the house.”

I threw in a National Geographic magazine on the Queens of Egypt. Since M was talking about the golden age, how we’re back in it again.

And how it’s time for Women to rule again..


II accidentally left the Natl Geogrpahic magazine in the shopping cart when I loaded the graoceries. I realized that when I got home. I spent 2 hours doing that run, do I really want to go back down the hill to get that magazine?

yes I do. it was a nice warm night, I wanna be out anyways. I called mom again, as I did when I was driving down the hill 2hours ago.

We conitnied the corona virus convo. Then I went into Whole Foods. Grabbed the Natl Geographic magazine, went to ththe customer service line, stood there for a minute, saw the security guy standing right next to me. He seem nice enough. So I walked out with magazine under my arm. Well I did pay for it earlier, I just don’t feel like going through the hassle of explaining everything to the customer service person and the clerk didn’t give me my receipt, which I wished he did bc I keep receipts as markers of events. Add that was a crazy receipt. I’ve never bought so much tuna in my life.

Walking right past the security guy with literature under my arm brought me back to my insane book shoplifting days at the UCLA days. I was always walking past the security guy with a stack of books in my hands. They never suspect the asian girl, walking by them and sometimes asking them to open the door since my hands were full of stolen books on art and poetry.


It’s crazy. I haven’t had a sex drive in a  while now. 2-3 weeks?

And all of a sudden today, I decided to send L5 a photo of me naked reading a book called Heroines..

He too has been so driven and focused since he landed in NY and not thinking about sex.

He sent me three messages. The last 2 was of of him getting turned on by my photo and stroking himself to it. I heard him come.

He said the magic words. He wants me to read that book while he sticks his dick inside me.

I came home and touched myself to the sounds of him touching himself, I recorded a message for him, but then lost it because the phone slipped form my hands as I was coming. So I touched myself some more and this time the message went through..

Oh wow. It’s crazy. I almost forgot how good it felt to come..


He stoked the fire. Or maybe I did when I sent him the photo of me..


I have so much to do. Most time sensitive is the copy for the Powerplay and Domme Tea Party..


I finally replied to A8, my artist hero, he sent me a message last Thursday wanting to get together for a creative session, he wrote out his was a long missive..

I told him I’m free this Thursday 2-5 to co-create. He’s down. I can’t beleive I’m making art with my hero.

I think it’s so uncanny that I wrote out my goals for 2020 in this little black drawing notebook that I got at the beginning of the year…


-Launch Pervette

-Connect and Co-Create with mt Hero/ines

-Make Sapiosexual Porn

-Organize more gatherings and sex parties

And here I am doing it.



Tuesday,  March10, 2020 12:44pm

Santa Monica


Dear U ,

As always, life has been non-stop.

I wish I had the discipline and time to write to you daily..


I wish I was tracking this corona pandemic daily with you. It’s crazy how it’s escalating, day by day..both in the world and in my personal sphere..


The OCD hypochondriac in me has been waking up for the past three days thinking..

my nose is slightly stuffy

my throat feels slightly swollen

do I have it?


I’m glad I made the decision last night with my mom to not go down to the OC to see her today..

I feel much better knowing that I’m not putting her at risk.


R just texted. Me, her and S were supposed to hop on a three-way call at 4 today. But she’s at the ER right now because she has a fever and sore throat.

The three of us were together last Saturday eating dumplings, berries, and congee and playing..flogging, spanking, and romping around on each other..f

Oh fuck.

She’s getting tested for the flu and strep.

I ask is she getting tested for covid.

If I test negative for the others, maybe.

I think you should try to get tested, just in case and for peace of mind, I said. (For my peace of mind, I’m selfishly thinking)



Even though I’m a hypochondriac..I am still doing things..I am sill seeing people, flying on a jet, taking ubers, doing photo and video shoots. Eating with Em and her friends, Asian style at a small plates Japanese restaurant Saturday night, hot pot Sunday night, sharing jackfruit and lily seed chips out of the bag.

P and I have been joking for weeks, calling me the “infector.”


R texts, she tested for strep throat. Phew!!


Supposedly if you’re tested positive for flu or strep, you don’t get tested for corona.

As if you can’t have both infections at the same time?

I google “strep throat and corona” to double check if that’s how it works…



All the purrell, masks and rubbing alcohol are sold out on Amazon, P says. All the items he stocked up on 2 weeks ago are all sold out. He wish he got twice as much and ordered some for the Berkeley house.


It was just 2 weeks ago when P was telling me to start self-quarantining since his silicon valley friends are.. but most of my friends and subs were all whatevs about it. Now it’s getting more serious..




On the ride to Burbank airport, my Chinese uber driver had a scratchy throat and was coughing and offering me a Ricola cough drop.

Uhh, no thanks.



As I was landing into JSX oakland, I got a text from A,

Whatcha up to tonight?


P2 picked me and Cutie up.

We talked about the Corona scare..his dreams with me in it..

We caught an epic pink sunset.


I showered. Talked to mom.. she’s telling me how to make my own Purrell with aloe vera and rubbing alcohol..

I head over to A’s. I brought him sliced coconut that I got from Erewhon. He made us a pot of tea from the special tea that I blended and gave to him a while back.

He just implemented the work from home policy this week. This pandemic is hugely negatively impacting his company. He says everything so calmly.


I told him I’m not feeling very sexy. I haven’t been active in days and I ate a fuck ton in LA.

He says there’s no way that I’m here and not getting fucked tonight.

I smile. He always knows exactly what to say..


I did feel sexier going down on him, as he thought I would.

I asked him to use me.

Which he did.


We had lovely unprotected sex.

He came on my back.


It’s been a ritual, after sex, I lay in his arms, he shares with me the wisdom that he’s been collecting from incredibly brilliant investors and CEO’s. Just today he interviewed a CEO that grew his latest company into a 64 billion dollar evaluation..

A was struck by his approach. He kept on cutting away at A’s questions about tactics on how to build and grow a company.

He said the 3 things that matter are:

  1. Your focus on your goal and not letting anything else distract you from that
  2. Hiring brilliant people
  3. Waking everyone up, snap tem out of their default mediocre state and fill them full of energy


Friday, March 13, 2020  Midnight


Dear U,

I’ve been 8-9 hours of sleep  these days. It’s the Tranquil Sleep homeopathic sleeping pills I’ve been taking. I wake up around 9am, which is really 8am but we skipped ahead bc daylight savings..

I remembered and recorded my dream and wrote out my morning pages first thing in the morning. That felt good. My stream of consciousness told me exactly what to do on Pervette. It’s time to get focused, the goal of Pervette is to share wisdom, and that’s what I’m going to do. Build out the magical Cutie path..


I check my messages. L texted, she chatted with P, he’s going to give us some more time for the house takeover, due to the corona virus.

She also thinks she’s not going to come out this Monday because Trump is about to enforce a travel ban and she thinks it’s best to stay put in NY.

I was somewhat relieved to hear that. Since for the past 2 days I didn’t know how it was going to to work out with P and L being here at MuppHQ  at the same time. I just had this feeling that the two would clash. P wants to self-quarantine here and be super sterile (he’s an 11 on the scale 1-10 of OCD cleanliness) and L loves germs (she thinks it builds her immune system) and is coming with her puppy, that she washes once every 8 months. That’s just one vector in which they clash. And I worry that I can’t be present for both of them at the same time. Not to mention P wants undivided attention on him (he’s a attention whore) most of the time.

Funny how I couldn’t see how this would work out and then Trump made it all work out.


P calls on the landline. It’s a ritual now, he calls me as I’m getting out of bed. Gives me the update.

He talk to L. She doesn’t have the full amount of money on her part for the down payment (which is something I explained to him last week but maybe he didn’t hear it) and wants time to fundraise, generate revenue for the house and see how we park as business partners, me and her. All of this makes P feel very doubtful about her taking over the house. Of course I know by now that anything I say about “my plans” doesn’t really land in his ear, so I kept mum about me and L’s “plans” to fundraise.

He needs to sell this house and give up the Santa Monica pad. He’s feeling quite broke now.

He had to sell some bitcoin at 7K today to get some cash.

That’s when I know that it’s bad. He’s no longer part of the #hodl gang.

I mean he did spend 1.5M in the last year..buying a 3M house in Seattle that he’s not living in and a 300K KrissCraft boat that’s just sitting on a dock, traveling a fuck ton around the globe.

I wonder if he regretted any of those somewhat frivolous spending. Or the fact that he probably should’ve sold his bitcoin when it was at its all time high of 19K back in Nov of 2017.

This was all in my head, and probably his..


I feel bad for him. He’s always been the rich daddy, takign care of everyone. So much of his identity is tied to being this rich playboy who never worries about cash. And now in a span of a few days, everything is changing..


He wants to plan for the house to be on the market in case L falls through, which he thinks is most likely. He’s looking forward to staying here with me and helping me find a place, clear out this house enough so that it can be staged once we can put it on the market. I go along with it and say that sounds like a plan. I’m here to move things along in the way  that he thinks it needs to. Of course in the back of my mind, I’m thinking this pandemic is giving me the gift of time to pull off a miracle..



Monday, March 16, 2020 11:19pm



Dear U,

It’s been a surreal day. Mostly because P is here now, foro some long indefinite amount of time. He left LA early this morning, drove up here as fast as he could, as if he was trying to reach safety right before some apocalyptic thing can take place..


I was also rushing, right up until he arrived at 1:46pm, I very quickly tidied up the last of my my mupp messes (notebooks, dildos, collected receipts and other random things) which I manage to scatter all over in the toad room, mistress bedroom and bath, moon room, shoe closet.. I was just putting away the photo gear and managed to get the place in pretty new pristine by the time P opened the door from the garage..

He was very happy to see me, giggly even. He made it.

And we’re doing it, self-quarantine day one.

As he arrived, we read the news, Bay Area is going into lockdown, or “shelter in place” from 12:01am tonight (4 minutes from now as I write this) till April 7.

Funny how P arrived just in time.

Funny how I did the last minute shopping Fri and Sat, just in time.

I felt like we timed it perfectly. I’m glad he came today and not Saturday (as we had planned earlier). We both needed the extra 2 days..before we quarantine together..


P came with gold: tons of rubbing alchohol, hand sanitizers, N 95 masks, Purell bottles and wipes that he had gotten 3 weeks ago on Amazon.

And with groceries he got from Erewhon, tons of canned soup, rice, pasta, and snacks..


It was a creative challenge, but i found a  way to integrate all his provisions into my already perfectly organized pantry.

X, P’s sugarbaby and my girl friday is staying at the Santa Monica pad.

I think P loves that he’s housing all his girls..

I’m glad she’s staying there rahter than with her Bernie Sanders socialist roommate who wants to eat all her food. I had the idea that we should put a Wyze camera in the SM pad, that way we can be voyeurs (and with her consent of course) film her..


This is strange, it’s been 3 or 4 years since P has live lived at the house with me. This brings us back to when we first got the house 5 years ago..


It is crazy that he sorta gave me a giant house to live in all by myself for all these years..


Funny how all “our plans” to put the house on the market in April got derailed (to my joy) because of this pandemic.

My prayers were heard.


I love how P thinks Mupp HQ (that’s what we call this place) thinks this is the prefect place to quarantine. It is

Of the 3 housing situations we got.

The lakeside Seattle house is getting renovated and Seattle is liek the Wuhan of the US right now

The oceanfront Santa Monica pad has too much people contact going in and out of the building and isn’t that spacious

Compatred to the 4400 sq ft house in Berkeley that’s right next to the park..

We thinks we somehow got this house just for this purpose, to quarantine in..

He says he feels so good being here right now..

It makes me happy that he’s showing so much love and appreciation for this house, like he’s never had before.

It was just 4 months after we had moved in, he felt like he made a mistake of getting this house, of cohabitating.. and has been wanting to sell it, on an off..

For the first time, he sees the value of this just took  a pandemic and forced lockdown for him to see that.


X sends P sexy photos of herself wearing the cute face masks he left for her.

And a video of her putting the butt plug he left for her..

Is she not using any lube? Wow.

Doesn’t look like she put a towel down on the bedspread either..

Still hot though.


We napped together..


I didn’t go to bed till 4 last night. I wa sup until 1 tidying up the kitchen, breakfast nook, orgy rooom, magic room andlibrary.
Then  I fell into  a meditative spell and

for 2 hours after, I received some crazy downloads..

A unifying theory of life based on the BDSM framework..



It’s an adjustment.

At 4pm, I felt the kriya meditaitve spell