My slave R (who studied Latin) coined this term back in 2011, which is when I got my Phd in Education at UC Berkeley.

Educare has two meanings in Latin, he explained to me, it means “to teach” and “to lead out.” And -trix is a suffix that turns any noun ending in -or into a feminine form. That makes me the woman who can lead those who are in the dark out into the light..

At the time I thought it was a clever neologism but didn’t think much more of it. It never occurred to me that I could combine my two careers (as an Education researcher and Pro Domme)  into one. In fact, I made it a point to never let those seemingly disparate worlds overlap. I thought it would be the end of me doctoral career if I came out or was outed as a Dominatrix (since I worked with young children as my subjects of research). Moreover, I never saw what I did in graduate school overlapping with what I did in the dungeon. 

It wasn’t until I was outed and I had to explain my (sex)work to my super traditional and conservative Asian family that I realized there are a TON of misconceptions about what I do as a Domme and sex worker.

What’s interesting is that it took being outed and my two worlds violently colliding to see how it could actually come together.

It was an A-HA1or more like HOLY FUCK! moment for me: 

-My academic work is on misconceptions and conceptual change

-My work as a Pro Domme is filled with misconceptions

-Therefore, I can use my academic training in misconceptions and conceptual change to dispel the misconceptions surrounding my work as a Pro Domme (i.e., BDSM and sexwork).

And while I’m here, I might as well talk about and demystify the other commonly misunderstood things that are also a big part of my life: like drugs, polyamory, pansexuality, spirituality..


It’s crazy how it took a moment of truth to help me see why I’m here and the work I need to do…

Whatever or whomever is still in the dark, I’m here to lead out..



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