You can rationalize in your mind what the boundaries are and why you ought to hide your kinky desires. With your s.o. you have a typical vanilla sex life, she most likely doesn’t want to know that you want to be dressed like a sissy maid and fucked like the cock-loving slut that you secretly think about from time to time. Because it might shatter her image of you as the man wearing the pants in the relationship. And so you’re hiding this to protect her psyche, your identity and the relationship. 

From here, you have a few more choices. You can act on your desires and seek a professional or you can not act on your desires..

Act on desiresDon't act on desires