Know a Domme


If you ask a dominatrix how she began, she would most likely tell you that she knew someone who was a dominatrix.

That’s the initiation process: To be one you have to know one.

It’s okay if you don’t know of any dominatrices in person (yet).

You know me (sort of).

I didn’t even know what a dominatrix was until I was 22.

My friend, E (whom I met in my LGBT class at UCLA), moved up to the Bay Area at the same time as I did in the Fall of 2004, as we both were starting grad school.¬† Around October she told me that she had a friend who was working at a house of domination called the Gates. And so she decided to give it a try. I can’t remember how she described it, something about tying people up and inflicting pain, it sounded strange to me. I remember being¬† slightly curious. But not curious enough. From what I can glean, E wasn’t enjoying her time at the Gates. She wasn’t getting along with one of the goth girls there, and she felt like the headmistress, S, didn’t like her. Her hunch was right, because a few weeks into it, she was fired for no reason.

Another friend of ours from UCLA, M, moved up to the Bay Area a month after we did. She was the curious one who asked E about becoming a pro domme (short for professional dominatrix). E told her about the Gates and M started to work there.

I think it was February. Were we at Mama Buzz cafe or at Smart Alec’s (both on Telegraph)? We were ordering corn soup and she was telling me how things were going at the Gates. To my surprise, she really liked it. I asked her what she did in session that day. She said she hogtied her client, spanked him, put clamps on his nipples, fucked him with a strap-on and then pissed on him as he came. Whoa. That sounded so bizarre and intriguing to me. I never got these sorts of details from E. Actually I don’t think E got a chance to really session before she got fired.

Why would someone want to be pissed on? I asked.

I dunno. Some people are into it.


She was paying for our soup with a hundred dollar bill and saying this is the problem she’s been running into since she started work, having to break hundreds in random places.

I remember thinking that’s a great problem to have..

(To be continued)




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