You are to describe a moment or a time when you felt you were living your life in its fullness – as if you were living it again now. What were the qualities of the moment, the feelings and values associated with it? Remember to include physical details – where you were, who you were with, if anyone, even what you were wearing – this encourages you to immerse yourself in the experience more, rather than just describing it as a memory.

Here’s what you wrote…


I have many moments, even right now,

But I remember this so clearly, that it must be the one..


P and I were naked,

in a large blue green swimming pool,

It was heated

And on the rooftop

Right outside our suite

of the Grand Hyatt hotel

in Tokyo.


He had gotten us the presidential suite for the night. This was my first time there. It was, as he said it would be, pretty amazing.


When I asked him before how much it was for a night in this suite, he said it was 10K.

I remember thinking that’s insane.

How he can spend that much for just one night in a room.


But I see now why.

It’s a night you’ll never forget.


He said his favorite moments were here in this suite.

He had stayed there twice before and had thrown two epic parties

One was on his 30th birthday which involved his best friends  and a surprise: a dozen japanese cheerleaders all dressed up and performing a cheer where they flung each other in the air, wishing him a happy birthday.

And the other was a kinky art/book launch for a friend, she had done a project photographing japanese pro dommes at a kinky love hotel called Alpha Inn. And so at the party, there were a dozen or so japanese pro dommes

Both times he was on acid.

The tub was filled with ice and bottles of champagne

To a playboy like him, that was the dream.


He said to himself, that that the next time he stays here, it’ll be just him and a special girl he’s in love with.


It feels nice to be that girl.


Maybe as a feminist, I shouldn’t think like this, but

sometimes it does take a (sugar) daddy indulging (or spoiling?) you in ways you never could yourself, to help you realize that you’re worth it.


To a sexworker like me

I was in that moment

(and even now)

living the dream.


I heard him say this before.


Treat a whore like a princess and

Treat a princess like a whore.


We had just wrapped up a photoshoot

With me as Mistress Colette

And P as my pervy photographer

And with the help of a remote

He was also my sub in the photos


We had just dosed about an hour and a half ago

3 hits of acid

The most we’ve ever done together.

It was intense.

The body high. The woogliness.

The slight queasiness that matches the pleasure of the peak.

It’s like you couldn’t get to this height of ecstasy

without feeling a little weak and vulnerable.


This was our third time doing LSD together.


The first was in Bali

The second was in my dungeon


This was definitely the charm


We were all laughter and smiles and just basking in the ridiculouness of how amazing this is

Holy fuck. This is our life.

How can it be that we made it here?

In each other’s arms,

in the most incredible setting possible.

It felt like we were aliens overlooking a picturesque  cityscape. Or was it the cityscape that was alien to us?

It was the glaoming, my favorite time of day. The colors in the sky the way the clouds rippled, just staring at it can break my heart. it’s too beautiful, it’s unreal. Is that what reality is?

The water temp was a perfect 98 degrees. P had made sure earlier that it was set at body temp.

I love how he planned it.

I love his foresight.

I love his extreme competence.

I love how he knows how to curate experiences like no other

I love how he loves me and this is how he shows it

completely literally over the top

I love him so.

Is it because never have I ever felt so loved

My breath was light. I just wanted to hold him and be near him in this warm water. Everything about us and that moment felt so incredible, so unreal, so amazing

it almost blows my mind

or maybe in that moment it was.


We were in awe

That was the feeling.

We were in awe of our life together

Of how amazing this moment and every moment leading up to it was.


Just up that point, it’s alrady been epic, our story.

How we found each other

How we connected


Or how we reconnected


Thank you acid,

for peeling back the layers, for lifting the veil, for allowing us to see this truth..


I know you from another lifetime.

You are my soulmate

My twin flame.

Oh my god, to be in your arms again.


Everything is possible.

When we’re together.

I can see us going so far, so high.

I can see us living out our wildest dreams together


As we looked out onto the horizon during the orange, pink, purple, blue sunset

I asked him

Do you know what you want to do?

With your life?

Can you see yourself and where you’ll be in the next 5 or 10 years?

I ask him this because I’m also asking this to myself.

He thought about it and so did I.


Here we were

Just floating

happily aimless


He said,

I just want to make something cool

And put it out there

in the world.


I thought about what he said.

It was not specific enough to visualize

As in I couldn’t actually see it, what this cool thing is he’s going to make.

we both didn’t know

It’s still a mystery

But it was simple and true.


Yeah, me too, I said.

That’s what I want to do.


It felt like it was promise

or a declaration

to ourselves

and the world

with each other as our witness.


That moment, in the 98 degree pool, in the purple orange gloaming, overlooking the Tokyo horizon, in each other’s arms, all smiles, all laughter, high as fuck, in that holy fuck moment, is this our life?

His perfect answer to my question.

How it was said,

Make something cool

And put it out there

how we both felt it to be true.

This is what we want to do.


Sitting in that perfect moment, all I knew was that

If this moment can happen

This magical moment is actually happening


Everything is possible.


That was what I felt.

And I still feel it to this day.

Right now

As I write this…