Thursday, March 12, 2020


Dear U,

Coronovirus..That’s all we’re talking about right now. We can’t even pretend like everything is fine and it’s just business as usual. Because it’s totally not. Everything is changing. Every gathering is getting cancelled. Classes, conferences, festivals. Everyone is working from home. Traffic is lighter (one upside). No one is touching their face. All the hand sanitizers and rubbing alcohol are out of stock. People are hoarding toilet paper and canned foods. We are all affected by this bug, to some degree. It’s changing the way we think about social interactions and being out and about. Where are you on the scale of cautiousness? Are you still operating as normally as you would? Or have you changed your behavior?And as the days progress, are you tracking how quickly your mind is changing about how worried you should be?

Remember how you scoffed at the paranoid a few weeks ago? When will you switch and think, maybe they’re on to something..


I’m in between two worlds. There’s my partner and mom who warned me 3 weeks ago it’s time to stock up and self-quarantine. (My partner and his silicon valley friends are on the uber cautious side)

And then there are all my other friends, who seem to be going about their business as usual, still going to yoga, still traveling, meeting up with friends and sharing food.


I asked my friends 2 weeks ago about their “history” before we met up and played. I like that we had an open dialogue about where we’ve been and who we’ve been (interacting) with. It feels like an extension of practicing safe sex. But this time, it’s all fuzzy. What do you do when you’re about to see someone who’s taking public transportation, going to pole classes and doing aya (passing around a communal cup of tea)? It feels fucked up to to say, “Sorry I can’t see you.”

But maybe we should?


Just this week, my mom and I decided not to see each other the night before I was going to drive down from LA to the OC to visit her.

I told her where I’ve been. I’ve been on a jet, several ubers, meeting up with peeps and I ate Asian-style with a group of 6 friends.

“You had hot pot with your friends? my mom asked in dismay, “How can you be so reckless right now?”

We both felt relieved that I wasn’t going to see her. I’ll know I’ll be fine if I get it, but my 62 year old mom who claims to have a weak immune system and only sleeps 4 hours (at most) a night. Just seeing her would stress her to sickness with hypochondriac paranoia.


I saw my lover Tuesday night. We made out and made love. He still goes to the rock climbing gym. He’s not afraid of this bug.

At which point will I decide to not kiss him anymore? But going down on him is probably totally okay, right?


All my plans are changing: I’m postponing the Pervette Tea Party till late April or May (made that decision yesterday), I probably won’t do Aya in April. I’m not going to NY in April, definitely not co-hosting a kinky sex party with my friend there.

My partner wants to come up to Berkeley and stay in our house for the next few weeks. We haven’t cohabited for more than 3 days at a time this year.


My friend’s friend’s dad was on the Princess cruise ship and is hospitalized in Japan in critical condition.

How many degrees of separation are you from someone who has it?

I think that’s the inflection point for each of us personally, when we are one degree away, we’ll probably start changing our mindset and behavior rapidly.


My friend that I saw 2 weeks checked herself into the ER the other day because she had a fever and cough.

She tested positive for strep throat.


Wait, if you test positive for strep they won’t test you for corona?


Everyday we wake up to the updates..Tom Hanks has it.  The stock market is plunging..air travel is getting restricted..we will have to go in lockdown at some point..


But somehow I feel okay about everything. Is it because it hasn’t hit me or effected me in a big way yet?


This is likened to the roaring 20’s. Pandemic outbreak. Stock market crashing.. and yet I just organize and hold soirees and sexy parties..


How do we live during these uncertain times?

How do we take care each other? By taking care of ourselves? Does that mean not going out anymore?


What’s to be done?