Generated by All in One SEO Pro v4.9.10, this is an llms-full.txt file, used by LLMs to index the site. # Pervette A dominatrix is an educatrix is a shamanatrix is a humanatrix is a creatrix is a pervette. ## Posts ### [Don't get deleted](https://www.pervette.com/dont-get-deleted/) **Published:** March 22, 2025 **Author:** Colette Pervette **Content:** ## Don’t Get Deleted[1](javascript:void(0))or: How I stopped Worrying and Learned How to Play the Instagram Game I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but Instagram has been acting very strange lately. Or maybe you have noticed.. That your engagement is noticeably down (like all-time lows for the size of your following) More of your posts are getting flagged for violating “community guidelines.” Even the ones that are pretty tame are somehow not making the cut. People you know are losing their accounts. Or your biggest nightmare happened, and[ you lost your account.](https://www.pervette.com/you-have-been-deleted/ "You have been deleted") ~ This is because the algorithm has changed considerably since the elections, and then some more after inauguration. Remember that talk about Meta loosening its factchecking and content moderation in January? That only applied to the alt right. And it’s been the opposite for us sexworkers, it’s gotten even more restrictive. Supposedly IG is currently done with its algorithm change (as of two weeks ago – early March 2025). And the folks who are mostly affected by this shift are ofc us SW and those in the sex space as in sexual wellness, education, products, podcasts, etc. So if this is you, please read on.. ~ Creating content on IG is increasingly becoming a landmine and mindfuck of an experience. It’s becoming harder to share anything about yourself and what you do on the platform without getting flagged, censored, and/or deleted. What used to be fine last year to post is most likely not at all fine anymore to post. And the moment you get flagged, you get put in a box or category ” of high risk” or “sexual content maker”[2](javascript:void(0))or something like that and you’re shadowbanned (one way to find out if you are shadowbanned, have someone do a search for you in IG and see if your account pops up) every content you post is under the bots’ scrutiny for being “high risk.” Like many SW and solo-preneurs, your business and brand is inextricably tied to your social media presence and following. So even though you fucking can’t stand Meta and its ever tightening community guidelines, you have to play by their Draconian rules in order to exist in it. Being on IG is like playing an incredibly difficult fucked-up game: You first have to do what everybody needs to do on there in order to grow their following. Which is create compelling content with hooks[3](javascript:void(0))that is visual and text hooks and value so that people will stop scrolling, give your post attention and then share/save your post. And if you’re a spicy creator, you get the added nearly impossible challenge. You somehow have to do all of the above and be “safe” and abide by community guidelines, which means you can’t do, say, wear or share anything that is “sexually suggestive” or describes or resembles your work. So if this is the double challenge you’re facing and you want to continue creating and existing on IG, I’m gonna share with you everything I know and am trying to do to exist on a platform that is constantly trying to censor, shadowban and delete us. I’m creating this guide in hopes it can help you continue playing the IG game so that you, your business and art can thrive, and at the very least stay visible. Here’s how I’ve been trying to survive (as in not get banned or deleted): ### **Rule #1 Don’t get meta on Meta**[4](javascript:void(0))Rule # 1 about Meta, don’t talk about Meta As in don’t talk shit about Meta on Meta. I do think they’re tracking that as well, which is totally big brother creepy. That’s why I’m writing about Meta here and not on the gram. ~ So whatever you do, don’t talk about how fucked up IG is on IG or Facebook. Talk about it on Twitter or Bluesky or another non-Meta platform. Don’t post a screencap of your account getting flagged or restricted. Don’t use the words censor, shadowban, deleted or deactivated or anything that’s related to Meta’s shitty actions on your and people’s account. For example, don’t say “I’m being shadowbanned right now.” Instead say “I’m on the naughty step.” Another ex, don’t say “X got their account deactivated.” Instead say “X’s page got erased” So it’s like..okay everybody, let’s pretend like nothing is wrong and fucked up here. Just put your head down and keep on making “safe” content. If you do call Meta out, they’ll just make you invisible or erase you, that’s all.[5](javascript:void(0))That’s why I feel so compelled to write this post right now. Everyday is playing this fucked up game and we can’t talk about how fucked up it is! ### **Rule # 2 Don’t use banned words** Whatever you do, don’t use these words in your bio, captions, hashtags, anywhere.. \#BDSM • \#Mistress • \#Dominatrix • \#Domme \#D\*mme \#Femdom • \#Findom • \#FinancialDomination • \#Submissive • \#Session \#MasterSlave • \#BookMe \#SessionsAvailable • \#SessionBooking • \#PrivateSession • \#OpenForBookings • \#VirtualDomination • \#OnlineSession • \#PrivateSessionAvailable • \#CustomContent \#fetish \#BeautyBlogger • \#Pushups • \#HardworkPaysOff • \#Twerk • \#CurvyGirls • \#ModelLife • \#HumpDay • \#BikiniBody • \#ShowerTime • \#Boho • \#LingerieModel • \#Thinspo • \#Dating • \#Sexiest • \#Glutes • \#Kissing • \#SexyAsHell • \#Sensual • \#Pleasure • \#Erotic • \#SexWorker • \#SexWorkIsWork • \#OnlyFans • \#NSFW • \#ExplicitContent • \#Nudes • \#Cumslut • \#PornStar • \#FetishPorn • \#XXX • \#Sexting • \#SugarDaddy • \#SugarBaby • \#ThickThighsSaveLives • \#SexToys • \#AnalPlay • \#CamGirl • \#FeetPicsForSale • \#SlaveGirl • \#BratTamer • \#BondageLife • \#Chastity • \#Spanking • \#Pegging • \#FetishModel • \#FootDomination • \#LatexDomme • \#LeatherDomme • \#Whipping • \#Sadist • \#Masochist • \#Kinkster • \#RopeBunny • \#BreathPlay • \#HypnoDomme • \#F3mdom • \#Bd$M • \#Dom1nat0r • \#GoddessWorship • \#K1nk • \#FeetWorship • \#WorshipMe • \#Ch4stity • \#StilettoDomination \#slave Also avoid certain emojis: the water / juicy emoji, eggplant emoji, peach emoji This list of course is not exhaustive. The banned words above are mostly applicable to us Dommes and sexworkers. Also do not not use these words in your DM’s with others. There are many other words we have to avoid. Anything that connotes violence, such as #abortion, #kill, #suicide, #genocide, #palestine. So if we use these words to talk about the how many people are getting murdered in the Palestine genocide, we get flagged, shadowbanned and lose our visibility, thus our voice. Yeah.. let that fucked-up-ness sink in. ~ If you look over the list above, pretty much every word that describes who you are and what you do is banned. You can’t say you’re a #dominatrix, #mistress, #domina, #sadist, #kinkster You can’t talk about what you do, like #bdsm, #kink, #femdom, #findom, #whipping, #footworship You can’t talk about your work & where you play like #sessions, #book #dungeon You can’t talk about what you wear like #latex, #leatherdomme, #fetish, #lingerie Even tweaks in the spelling are getting picked up by bots like #k!nk, #bd$m, #d0minatrix so be careful about that. ~ Sidenote: Don’t use hashtags in general. Hashtags used to help you grow your following back in the day. But not anymore. It might even hurt your algorithm. And if you use a banned word hashtag, that’s an immediate red flag. ~ Don’t use a linktree in your bio link, that’s also getting flagged. Some folks work around that by creating a whole new account just to add their linktree to it. And then they reference that account with “link” in their official account. ### Rule #3 Watch what you’re wearing, doing & where you’re at It’s no surprise that the bots are also tracking what you wear in your posts. But the thing is with every algorithm shift, they’re getting more prudish and tracking more things. We used to think we’re safe if we don’t show our nipples or any nudity. But now it’s even lingerie, fetishwear, latex, corsets, bare shoulders, deep necklines that are problematic. So even though you think you got away with some fetish clothing the other day, you might not today. Be alert to the changing algorithm. The community guidelines used to say they don’t condone “sexual solicitation or activity” now it doesn’t condone anything that’s “sexually suggestive.” Noticeable new flags to look out for: \*Being in latex or leather fetishwear, ai is flagging this as sexual solicitation or nudity \*Harnesses, bondage gear, collars \*Lingerie \*hoods, gags, blindfolds ai is flagging as violent \*chains ropes, Shibari or restraint even artistically \*implements in a controlling pose ~ “Sexually suggestive” means behavior patterns as well: \*such as subs crawling \*posture of dominance \*smoking \*Bending over towards the camera \*Licking lips excessively \*Finger sucking \*Showing implements and simulating a spanking motion \*Close ups on boobs, butt, feet, lips \*Pulling garments excessively- example would be latex gloves, pulling up skirt or teasing with a shirt \*Hip thrusting or grinding \*DM callouts like “Slide into my DMs” / “DM for details” / “DM for sessions”—these imply transactions and get flagged \*Polls or stickers that ask “Would you obey me?”, “Ready to submit? \* Book me” calls to action. Instead you can say, more details on my site, or contact for inquiries \*Trending sounds in other platforms that are considered sexy- also explicit audio !!!!ON LIVE OR STORIES BEWARE!!!! \*discussion/even educational on bdsm or kink \*demonstrating or showing sex toys \*dominance role play, this could be having a sub on a leash -showing bruises -\* \*Avoid emojis (🍑 or ❤️) paired with words like “sessions, bookings, dm, available, private) \*Avoid “tribute” and $$$ Instead of saying “dm for inquiries,” “tribute required,” try “support available through my site” “Sexually suggestive” also entails dark aesthetic, masks, and latexy content. So avoid dark backgrounds and red room vibes. Try not to use red light in general since ai thinks it’s sexy. I think dungeon backgrounds are also getting flagged. ~ For example, the image of me at the top of this post was a picture that’s been flagged. Because I’m wearing a #harness #mesh #bodysuit (even through it’s a bodysuit covering most of my body) and I’m against a red background. ### Rule #3 Be aware of who you’re connecting with Here’s another fucked up thing to be aware of. IG is also tracking who you’re interacting with. If you are are tagging, resharing, and collab posting with others whose accounts are in the “high-risk” category, you may also become categorized as “high risk” as well. Which if you think about it, it means IG is controlling & restricting not only how we *create* but who we *connect* with. ~ Before I move on to the next rules. I just want to pause and reflect for a moment on what the implications of these restrictions mean. ~ **We can’t use words and imagery to describe who we are, what we wear, what we do.** **This is a literal erasure of our work and culture.** ~ So what do we do? ### Rule #4 Play the Game: Don’t get deleted If you want to exist on Instagram and actually grow your audience and have some reach, you have to treat all of this like it’s a game. The name of the game is: Don’t [get deleted](https://www.pervette.com/you-got-deleted/ "You got deleted"). You’re pretty much trying to not get deleted in a platform that’s constantly trying to delete you. So if you can trick the algorithm into thinking that you’re not a Dominatrix or SW. A great example of someone of who is pulling this off beautifully is Mistress Iris. She has been deleted once before and had to start all over and now she is playing the game of not getting deleted again with great care and thought. Notice how Mistress Iris tricks the algorithm in her bio and imagery by showing that she is just “Art and Lifestyle by House of Iris.” She’s always in bright, light and often outdoorsy backgrounds to imply luxury travel and lifestyle. She most often post food pics of high end restaurants in her stories. Her photography can be interpreted as editorial. Her imagery subtly implies a power dynamic without overt gestures. She opts for more vanilla-looking evening wear over obvious fetishwear. She has very subtle captions that don’t use any banned words. Her aesthetically impeccalbe account is a wonderful model to learn from. ### Rule #5 Be Alert Check you “account status.” Go to your IG settings, scroll to the bottom and click on “account status.” If you have all green checkmarks, you’re somewhat in the clear.[6](javascript:void(0))I say “somewhat” because you can still be in their system as “high-risk” even though you have all green checkmarks If you have an orange checkmark, check to see what got flagged. I archive every post that got flagged instead of appealing it. Because you don’t know how long the appealing process can take (weeks sometimes) and in that time you’ll be in IG jail and shadowbanned. As you scroll through other spicy accounts, see how people are being clever with their word choices. What words are they trying to avoid? Check in with your SW friends who are in the know of what words and attire are getting flagged. Train your AI to detect the patterns in your images that are getting flagged. ### Rule #5 Be Adaptable I know it sucks to not post the sexy photos and videos that typically get you high engagement, but you need to adapt to the changing “community guidelines” that are getting stricter and stricter with every algorithm shift. If you say, “fuck it I’ll post what I want,” you will get fucked by the bots and have your account shadowbanned, suspended or at worst deactivated. And it’s game over. And you have to start all over again from 0. ### Rule #6 Be Agile Nothing sucks more than checking your account status and seeing that you have a violation or a bunch of violations and posts that you spent hours working on have to be removed. It’s the most demoralizing and crushing feeling. And can create a lot of panic and anxiety. See if you can practice as much detachment as you can when you remove your posts. See if you can process all of the emotions that come with having a violation: shock, anxiety, deflation and move on as quickly as you can. It might mean getting off the app for the rest of the day or week. And go for a walk. Read a book. Meditate. Connect with friends. Do something else that can get your mind off of it. And when you feel grounded and centered, you can engage again with the app. ### Rule # 7 Be creative elsewhere Don’t put all all your eggs in one basket. Make sure you exist on other social media platforms like Bluesky, Twitter[7](javascript:void(0))Elon sucks and I’ll deadname his co, Substack, Patreon, OF or your own Telegram. Build your email list. That way if you do get deleted, you still have other places to broadcast your voice. Make sure you have an actual outlet for your creative expression. As in find or create a space that allows you to create and connect with no restrictions. Like your own website, telegram or blog. ### Rule #8 Get more creative Don’t let “the man” get you down and stop you from creating. Just get more creative. Look to Eastern European filmmakers who had to cleverly create films subtly talking about the fuckedupnesss of their communist/dictatorship counties that they reside in while trying to not get exiled, like Daneliuc, Szabo, Meszaros, etc. I’m also a big fan of Kiriostami, the Iranian director who knew how to poetically work around censorship like a wizard. Look to these visionaries and artists for inspo. ~ I hope this guide was helpful in helping you navigate the murky landmine of IG. And hopefully you can now see how to play this game of trying to not get deleted. Good luck! Please be safe. And please keep each other safe and spread the word to others who you see are struggling with shadowban or deletion. Share this with anyone who you think might benefit from knowing the hidden rules of the IG game. As in, if you see a friend or colleague unwittingly posting banned words or imagery, share this with them off the app or cryptically in the DM’s. Whatever you do, try not to talk about meta on meta (Rule #1 remember?) ~ There is always a way to play this seemingly impossible game. It’s not easy, but the creative challenge is worth it when you can build your visibility, connect with others, and put your voice out there. We may have to get more clever, cryptic strategic. Let’s do everything we can to not be silenced or deleted. ~ Special thanks to Miss Jade Smoke of our MistressClass who helped gather the extensive list of banned words and imagery through her past connection to Meta and incredible AI research. ~ This post is a work in progress, I’ll be adding more to it as I learn more about the increasing restrictions. I’m also planning to write more about what the social implications are of these restrictions / erasure of our Domme / Kink / Sexwork culture online. I’m also currently working on this next piece about what to do if [you do get deleted](https://www.pervette.com/you-got-deleted/ "You got deleted") I’m trying to write more even if it’s really [raw and unfinished ](https://www.pervette.com/pervette-zines/ "Zines") If I’m not writing, I’m mostly likely working on[ my new passion project ](https://www.pervette.com/shadow-series/ "Shadow Series") or my [favorite work of he(art)](https://www.pervette.com/mistressclass/ "Mistressclass") ~ If you have more banned words or any suggestions to not get deleted, please drop them in the comments below! ~ Stay safe out there!! **Categories:** advice, art, Business, instagram, pervette, resources, social media --- ### [all a work in progress](https://www.pervette.com/all-a-work-in-progress/) **Published:** April 2, 2025 **Author:** Colette Pervette **Content:** Preface: Everything here is a work in progress If you’ve noticed already none of these pages are polished products. It’s because I’m writing stream of consciousness and then hitting publish. making everything raw, often times unedited and always always to be continued.. . What you’re essentially looking at are rough drafts. And if you follow each piece often enough, you can track my editing and and how I’m writing more on each page in real time. . Why am I doing this? Maybe[1](javascript:void(0))I love creating dozens of new threads at a time, work on whatever calls me and whatever doesn’t “I’ll get to it later.” . Maybe because raw feels intimate. And I think the only way to get intimate is to share myself with no filter. Because raw captures more of the real. I think we’ve had enough of censoring and filtering ourselves on all the other platforms out there. I want to create a space where I don’t have to think twice about what I say or write. if you want something clean and polished, you can hop on any other website out there here I want you to feel like i’m right here pouring unfiltered words right on to the screen . we are all works in progress. nothing I say is set in stone. It’s permeable and subject to change. Because we’re permeable and subject to change. . Please don’t judge Just stay open, And maybe stay curious enough to come back And follow me down these rabbitholes because if you do you’ll see how I make change and grow this he(art) space and evolve.. **Categories:** pervette --- ### [what's going on write now](https://www.pervette.com/whats-going-on-write-now/) **Published:** March 18, 2025 **Author:** Colette Pervette **Content:** you might be wondering what’s going on? how come all of these blog posts seem like unfinished drafts? because they are. inspiration strikes and i start a new post to catch the idea before it disappears. i write wants to come out. and oftentimes my adhd brain hops on another idea or i get distracted and do something else. but i have the intention of returning and expanding upon my point. so none of these posts are actually ever finished or complete. they’re more like conversations or monologues that i circle back to, revisit, change my mind, erase and rewrite. just write now. i’m writing the way my brain works. and my brain doesn’t think about things in perfect essay form. it’s a jumble of thoughts and ideas, lists and sidenotes. if i made myself finish every post like i would an article i would have nothing posted. here i’m giving myself the freedom to write with literal abandon. i write. abandon. and come back later with more thoughts. so in a way none of these posts are read, and then dead. you don’t keep scrolling and move on to the next. you come back, and see how i’ve expanded and evolved my thoughts and writing. so it’s read and come back and go deeper with me. because every post is alive and evolving. i’m giving you what i want. and i don’t know about you but i have a hunger for reality (a la david shields). i crave writing that feels raw and unpolished, even grammatically incorrect. it feels intimate. and real. i think the topical structures of articles, essays, books and any medium out there force us to write and express ourselves in a way that limits the free wheeling mind. the rigid mediums have limited the tone and texture of the message. i want this medium (or transmedia website) to be soft and permeable, shaped by the message that comes from the mind’s creative flow. ~ i’m writing to you to know what i think and i think i was still working out why this non-structure works for me. ~ i don’t think linearly. i don’t create linearly. my creativity moves in circles and cycles. i need to circle back to expand the thought and idea. thoughts and ideas should always be evolving in my perspective. . one should find the medium that fits their creative process. and if no medium out there works for you. you should create your own. that’s what i’m doing right now. and all i can say is that this feels good. and i’m just feeling my way to being in creative flow. which is what i’m aiming for. not a finished product. but a process that feels good to me. writing with no constraints feels really good to me. and i think you’re still here reading this, i’m correct in my theory that we crave something different that the limited mediums that we are working with. ~ in this space, nothing is really polished and complete. it’s all raw, evolving and subject to change. ~ terrance mckenna said something alonng the lines of create novelty, that is our purpose here. **Categories:** pervette --- ### [You got deleted](https://www.pervette.com/you-got-deleted/) **Published:** March 17, 2025 **Author:** Colette Pervette **Content:** It’s just another normal day, you pick up the phone and open the Instagram app as you always do. But then you see something unusual, a Meta pop up box. Your chest tightens. Was your post removed? It’s even worse, your account was suspended. Fuck!! A shot of cortisol races through your nervous system. You hold your breath as you click on the blue button to appeal the decision because it seems like there’s no other option. You submit the appeal. Wait. Was that a dangerous move? You have no idea. There’s nothing else you can do on the app. You can’t access anything. As far as you know, you have been deleted. You are gutted. It starts to hit you. The accumulated hours that add up to days, weeks months and years of creating art, writing captions, posting to your grid, stories, growing and engaging with your followers, the DM’s. All of it. Gone. All that time and creative energy that you invested into this app led to..nothing. But a hollow sinking feeling in your stomache. You question your choices. Was it the last thing you posted? Was it a hater flagging you? If only you knew. You question everything. ~ Getting deleted is one of the most stressful experiences that no one talks about. And the reason why no one talks about it is because the ones who got de-platformed have no platform to talk about their experience. And once you do get your account back, you try to be on your best behavior on the platform and pretend like nothing happened. Because ruffling the bots’ feathers might risk you to lose your account again. And so you keep you head down, and continue creating, but with an unnerving thought that it can all disappear again tomorrow. ~ And that’s why I want to write about the experience of getting deleted. So that if you are in that unfortunate place, you can at least be affirmed in your experience. ~ Here are the stages of emotions that I felt when my account was suspended: Shock – you can’t believe it happened to you, you feel so wronged, so unlucky Grief – you just lost a multi-year project you’ve been working on almost everyday therefore you also lost this part of yourself, your routine, your work Anxiety – will it ever be returned? What if the whitehat hackers can’t get it back? What will this mean for your business? The thought of having to start over from 0 feels gutting and crushing ~ That’s the reality of being a sexworker (or anyone working in a sexy/sex-adjacent space) on a platform that is constantly tightening its “community guidelines” so that what you do, say, wear will be held against you as grounds for erasing you. ~ First off, know that there is a slew of white hat hackers out there who work inside Meta, or know someone who work inside Meta and they can get your account back. At a cost, of course. Be aware of the hackers who require payment upfront before they get your account back. A good rule of thumb is to go with with someone who only charges you *after* they get your account back, and who also has a positive review from someone you know, or a friend of a friend can vouch for them. If you think it’s worth it, invest in a hacker to get your account back. It can cost anywhere form a few hundred to a few thousand (depending on the number of followers you have). Or you start over from 0. Which feels insanely frustrating! Or you can ditch IG altogether. And put your attention and content on a less censored app. It’s really up to you. ~ If you go the hacker route, be aware that you’re going to feel anxious during the waiting period of having them work on getting your account back. Like the future of your account / business is in the hands of some stranger whom you can’t really tell if you can trust until they get your account back. And you don’t want to be the annoying client pestering them every other day about the update of your account. i [This is a work in progress](https://www.pervette.com/whats-going-on-write-now/ "what’s going on write now") [along with everything else](https://www.pervette.com/pervette-zines/ "Zines") **Categories:** pervette, sexwork --- ### [finding buddhism in bdsm](https://www.pervette.com/finding-buddhism-in-bdsm/) **Published:** March 26, 2025 **Author:** Colette Pervette **Content:** Do you want to know a secret? bdsm + spirituality = magick If you combine these two powerful practices and paths (of making the unconscious conscious / creating greater awareness) you get straight up magick.. or the art of making wild dreams come true ~ what is bdsm and spirituality like? it’s like never letting your inner child grow old, cynical or jaded. it’s cultivating an innocent and blissful mind of not seeing the world through the lens of duality. there’s no right or wrong, good or bad, normal or crazy, masculine or feminine, there’s no judgment, but staying open and curious to everything that life has to offer i **Categories:** pervette --- ## Pages ### [Hello](https://www.pervette.com/) **Published:** October 25, 2017 **Author:** Sarrita Hunn **Content:** [Y E S](https://www.pervette.com/to-the-path/ "Play How")[M A Y B E](https://www.pervette.com/yes/ "Maybe") [Y E S](https://www.pervette.com/to-the-path/ "Play How")[M A Y B E](https://www.pervette.com/yes/) --- ### [Mistressclass](https://www.pervette.com/mistressclass/) **Published:** April 22, 2021 **Author:** Colette Pervette **Content:** The next MistressClass begins October 2026 [Enroll now](https://evolvingradical.com/mistressclass/) to catch the early bird special and join us in a bonus Summer Call Dear Mistress, Are you ready to step into your power And lead with your desire? Are you ready to play with dreams and make them come true? Are you ready to be worshipped for the Goddess that you are? If the answer is a [full body yes](https://evolvingradical.com/mistressclass) then you’re ready for.. ## [MistressClass](https://evolvingradical.com/mistressclass/) ### An immersive virtual Dominatrix class where I show you every step it takes to become a Dominatrix and come into your full power. ~ The Dominatrix is an archetype of a femme in power. She knows what she wants and has a wide toolkit of tricks and skills to draw from to realize fantasies and create her own reality. ~ ### MistressClass is a two month-long Dominatrix mentorship that guides you through the deep work of finding your inner power and bringing it out to play as you learn the practical skills that a Dominatrix uses in and outside the dungeon. In MistressClass you’ll be learning the craft of the Dominatrix: fantasy, power, play and transformation. You’ll develop a new magnetic alter ego, step into your sensual power as you step into a virtual dungeon and play with devoted subs. You’ll also be exploring the wide range of tools and practices a Dominatrix utilizes to create deep and meaningful play for herself and her subs. ~ **What you’ll learn:** The sacred healing art of kink Find your dominant voice and lead with your desire Turn erotic fantasies (and big life dreams) into reality Build trust and intimacy in power exchange (and all relationships) Master power dynamics in and outside the dungeon Cultivate your own unique Dominant style and persona Create a safe space to deepen intimacy and erotic play Bring out the magnetic and powerful side of yourself in the bedroom, dungeon and beyond Safely and skillfully play with the essential kink tools, toys and techniques[1](javascript:void(0))which includes flogging and single tail, fundamental bondage and Shibari ties, verbal domination, cock & ball torture, nipple torture, electroplay, prostate massage, strap-on anal play and more Craft a deep and meaningful arc/journey in erotic play Bring playmates deep into subspace and create a cathartic release Gather the fundamentals & pro tips of starting your business and career as a pro Domme Decode the symbolic power behind each element of BDSM to access your power in your play and everyday life Gain the keys and secrets to lifelong play and pro Domme success [Y E S !](https://evolvingradical.com/mistressclass/ "Play How") [COUNT ME IN!](https://evolvingradical.com/mistressclass/ "Play How") ~ **What You’ll Receive** 6 Live Sunday Lessons, 2.5 hours each (replays available) Optional After Class Q&A Coven Night ceremony 3 Pro Domme Biz Teatime Chats 11 Optional Office Hours hosted by Colette & Big Sisters Live shadow session demos with my subs Dommework assignments and creative challenges Unlimited access to all recorded lessons and calls Gain multiple perspectives + pro-tips on kink & topping from guest Dominatrixes Connect in an ongoing Domme community through the MistressClass Telegram[2](javascript:void(0))Our class Telegram will stay open and active after our class ends so that everyone in our cohort can keep on staying in touch and you’ll also be invited to the MistressClass Alumni Discord to connect with all the Mistresses across the 9 seasons of MistressClass Invitation to the MistressClass in-person Graduation Party Invitation to MistressClass Alumni Magic Hours[3](javascript:void(0))Magic Hour Calls are bonus calls that I put on after class is over so that we can keep on connecting over topics and issues that feel magical and/or relevant to the business of our lives ~ ### **Dates and Times** MistressClass will begin on Sunday, Oct. 11th 2026 **Sunday School Lessons** Class is held (almost) every other Sunday 10/11, 10/25, 11/8, 11/22, 12/6, 12/20 10am-12:30pm PST **Optional After Class Q&A** 12:30-1pm PST – **Coven Night** Gather virtually for a special coven on the Full Moon of Oct. 26th 5:00-6:30pm PST \_ **Pro Domme Biz / Teatime Chat** Let’s get into the business of our lives Bring your tea and questions to our optional Pro Domme Business Teatime Chat Thursdays: Oct 22nd, Nov 12th, and Dec 3rd 3:00-5:00pm PST ~ ### Enroll Early ### Catch the Bonus Summer Call For those of us who can’t wait till Fall to get started, You can [enroll early](https://evolvingradical.com/mistressclass/) to catch our bonus Summer MistressClass call, where I share with you the roadmap to kickstart your Domme journey. The bonus Summer Call will be on Sunday, August 23rd at 11:11am pst. Enroll by Saturday, August 22nd to join us. ### Tuition Enrollment for MistressClass is open. [Apply early](https://evolvingradical.com/mistressclass/) to catch the early bird special at $888. Once the early spots are filled, the tuition will rise to $1111. [Y E S !](https://evolvingradical.com/mistressclass/ "Play How") [SO READY FOR THIS!](https://evolvingradical.com/mistressclass/ "Play How") Join [the playlist](https://forms.gle/7geuKKAiue7SEnjp9) to receive all the updates ## MistressClass Testimonials MistressClass is an oasis of seen-ness, community, and the most unexpected & magical lessons. Through delivering insight & education for beginner and professional Dommes alike, Colette weaves together such beautiful community….this is truly a container of powerful femmes ready to dig deep to embody their wholeness, and lift one another up along the way. If you are seeking to jump through a portal into a world where we see, feel, and heal the dark feminine archetype & build sisterhood, MistressClass is that portal. ~Domina Natalia [http://www.pervette.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/testimonial\_kate.mp3](http://www.pervette.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/testimonial_kate.mp3) MistressClass was such a lovely experience, Colette shares so many different aspects about how to become a Dominatrix from a personal self-exploration journey all the way to the business aspect. Mistress Colette’s teaching style is so authentic and heart-centered. She truly shares everything that she knows and in addition to that, she invites so many guest speakers. This was so helpful in expanding my knowledge and to be able to learn from all the different flavors that Domme work has to offer. I absolutely recommend this course for anyone who wants to explore BDSM dynamics and embrace your power. ~Mistress Lilith Noir [http://www.pervette.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/testimonial\_serenity1.mp3](http://www.pervette.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/testimonial_serenity1.mp3) If you are ready to take the next step in your life, this is it. MistressClass is more than just learning the ropes of becoming a Domme, it offers a safe space to completely relish in who you choose to be. Every class has taught me more and more about myself, and has broken down walls I didn’t even know were there. I was able to step into a power I’ve always dreamed of. Not only was this transformative within, this extended to every aspect of my life. Relationships, work, family, you name it. Stepping into your power and feeling solid within yourself and what you want, has been the greatest take away. The sisterhood, the amazing teachers who spoke, the live sessions, the rituals. Everything. Absolutely worth the money, every fucking dime. Do yourself a favor and choose yourself and your future, MistressClass absolutely will help you. ~Lady Wren [http://www.pervette.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/testimonial\_ladymae.mp3](http://www.pervette.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/testimonial_ladymae.mp3) Take this class!!! It is LIFE CHANGING. Each class is therapy, learning, unlearning, and building such a beautiful community. This blew my expectations out of the water, and I would take this class again in a heartbeat. ~Hades [http://www.pervette.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/05/testimony\_ladyecho2.mp3](http://www.pervette.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/05/testimony_ladyecho2.mp3) Mistress Colette is an expert in all the technical and business aspects of being a professional domme, but more than that, she is an expert in radical love and sacred feminine power. Her big heart shines through in all of her teachings, her lectures, her sharing, her listening. This is the most safe space to create a sisterhood while also getting the most incredible amount of information on kink and domme work. I wish this class never ended! ~Mistress Vesper I came into MistressClass thinking this was a fun way to spice things up in the bedroom and to learn more about the kink community. I very quickly realized just how deeply spiritual and healing this modality is. I felt cocooned in sisterhood as I explored these parts of myself and worked through trauma and I am so grateful for the container that Mistress Colette holds. I think every adult who wants a healthy sex life should go through this – even if they never plan on being a professional domme. ~Domina Fleur Joining MistressClass was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I felt pulled to it in an illogical way — like I knew this was meant for me. Wild & mind blowing things began to unfold for me as I stepped deeper into my Domme power. This container was a space of play, exploration & permission. It was everything I needed & more. I highly recommend following that inner magnetic pull & joining MistressClass. Your inner Domme will be more than pleased. ~Mistress Rose MistressClass was mind altering and life changing. I use what I learned every day in both my personal and my bdsm worlds; which are quickly merging into one lovely existence and I am delighted. Reclaiming myself and my power through MistressClass has been the greatest gift. Invest in yourself! ~Goddexx Persephone MistressClass has been the catalyst for my growth and expansion as a pro-domme and a female entrepreneur on the path of destigmatizing shame and creating safe places for play/healing/growth. Colette is incredible, not only for her skills but her intellect. She’s gone deep on her journey which allowed me to access my own. Her guidance through my own psyche allowed my parts to trust me even more as I take them on this journey. This is my life’s work and it’s all so clear now. The divine channel of creativity is moving through me consistently and I feel free…which i exactly what I want everyone to experience. ~Mistress Mia MistressClass is a true alchemical journey. I wasn’t expecting a sexual healing going in to this but it certainly unfolded in the most elegant and surprising ways. Mistress Colettes transmission of power and compassion are otherworldly. Expect magick, healing and a delicious new array of skills for your path as a Dominatrix! I am dreaming bigger dreams after MistressClass! ~DamianaRose Mistress Class was the best decision! Mistress Colette is not only amazing at teaching the skills of a Domme, but she is wicked sharp and vulnerable at the same time. As someone with a PhD myself, I love learning from an academic point of view, as well as a heart-centered perspective. Mistress Colette does both. Whether you want to become a Domme or not, I highly recommend taking this incredible course. ~Mistress Cole MistressClass opened my eyes to the multi-dimensional world of BDSM and Domming. All my curiosities were answered and I felt like a sponge absorbing all this new information each week. After the classes I felt energized and powerful from the talks, the learnings, and the self work. Thank you for the generosity in time from you and your guest speakers answering all of our questions. I feel like I’m ready to put forth the new and evolved Me into this world. ~Mistress Loa MistressClass stretched me to my limits, in the way a Dominatrix does. I oscillated between discomfort and excitement, awe, and the profound sensation of being unraveled. This class extends an invitation to dive as deeply as you dare and to question your convictions, all while being encircled by a fiercely supportive and open-minded group of women on their own journeys toward liberation. My discovery of MistressClass felt like divine intervention. If you’re reading this and sense the stirrings of inner power calling to you, just as I did before taking the leap, know that this experience is meant for you too. ~Domina Vesper [JOIN](https://evolvingradical.com/mistressclass) [THE MISTRESSES](https://evolvingradical.com/mistressclass) For more testimonials from the Mistresses of MistressClass, keep scrolling or [click here.](https://www.pervette.com/mistressclass-testimonials/ "MistressClass Testimonials") ## Frequently Asked Questions ### Where is this class held? This course is a virtual course so everything is held online. There will also be an optional in person MistressClass graduation party at the end of the course held in the Bay Area, California to give us an opportunity to meet in the flesh, celebrate our graduation and play together! . ### I live outside of the US and the time zone difference makes it hard for me to attend the live class. Can I still participate if I can’t make it to the live class? Yes, all the classes will be recorded and you will have unlimited access to the replays and can watch them at your convenience. I’ve had several Mistresses, who were based in Australia and Asia, participated in the course by watching the replays. From their experience, they felt like they received the full transmission through the recordings. I think as long as you watch the replays in a timely manner and keep up with your Dommework, and stay connected with the other Mistresses through the MistressClass Discord server, you won’t miss a beat. . ### Is this class for those who have no experience in kink or is it for those who want to become a professional dominatrix. This class is geared towards those who don’t have any experience in kink and want to explore their dominant side AND it’s also directed towards those who are interested in becoming pro dommes. As that was my path. I was completely new to kink when I first started working as a pro domme. But all the steps that I took to learning the craft of becoming a pro domme was the most complete crash course into kink and finding my power that I needed. So what I created in MistressClass mirrors my journey into exploring kink and channeling my inner Domme. It’s a wholistic course in the art of topping and as well as finding your voice and learning how to play with your power. ### Is this class open to nonbinary folks? Yes, MistressClass’ curriculum is geared towards exploring the power of the feminine. Thus the class is open to all women, queer nonbinary femmes and trans femmes. ### Where can I learn more about MistressClass? You can learn more about MistressClass, find the lineup of current guest Domme speakers and get the latest updates on MistressClass through my instagram [@colettepervette.](https://www.instagram.com/colettepervette/?hl=en) ## ~ MistressClass Testimonials This class has been life changing! Energetically, Colette is doing deeply important spiritual work. I see the alchemy in her own life, and getting the chance to study under her has brought me so much clarity, direction, inspiration, and personal growth. Thank you endlessly for the magic you do! ~Princess M If you have the chance to take this course, this is your cue to immediately sign up! Between learning various domination techniques in different styles, forming amazing friendships, meeting Pros and picking their brains, as well as other surprises you would love to experience, this course goes above and beyond. I would take it again in a heartbeat! ~Mistress Soleil MistressClass is here to take you to your edge if you allow it to. This is a journey of an individual surrounded by the sexiest and most supportive community. I found MsitressClass by divine design never knowing of Colette. As I read her words, everything in my being knew “this is for me”. Every click, word read, podcast heard that night was resonate with my soul. As a Sex and Intimacy Liberation Coach I have known that BDSM was to be woven into my work as it is in my personal life. I joined the class to activate more power in my life for business, finance and myself. I have finished the class with SO MUCH MORE than I could’ve ever imagined. I have unlocked doors in my heart that lead to a more expanded existence for lifetimes to come. Thank you to every Mistress and of course, Colette for creating this space, supporting everyone in SW and truly showing up to RISE TOGETHER. ~Mistress Storm Taking this course dovetailed with many other areas of change in my personal life, it was the perfect medicine at the perfect time. Mistressclass has allowed more spaciousness for my unabashed essence to shine through in social interactions new and familiar. Each cleverly crafted gentle step helped me ease into connecting with my inner Domme in a sweet way that felt exciting, natural and at times a little challenging.The biggest takeaway Mistressclass has gifted me is an understanding of the spectrum of being a dominatrix. I can now tap into something so authentic to who I naturally am that it doesn’t feel as though I have to step into character. Thank you Mistress Colette for your heart centered life changing offering! ~Liberty Bound It took me two years of circling around this course to finally commit to myself enough to take it, and I am so glad that I did. This course addressed an uneasy part of me that was feeling unfulfilled in my life introducing me to desires that I didn’t even know I had! The lessons are fun clear and informative, weaving together practical training with deep wisdom. Being a part of a group of such powerful people looking to expand and grow together feels absolutely electric. One million percent recommend! ~Mistress Jennifer If there’s any slight feeling of hesitation you have right now reading through these testimonials and deciding if you’re really cut out for this, this is your sign to drop all of those fears. Mistress Colette has shown us that this course truly is for everyone – all ages, all sexualities, all ethnicities, all experience levels, and all desires. This course is an investment through and through. It was an investment in myself, learning about and loving the part of me that has always had an innate curiosity for all things Femdom. I came into this course during a really tumultuous part of my life, and it really was a safe space for me to connect, reflect, and learn during a time I desperately needed that consistent, safe space. I have been and will continue recommending this course to all of my friends – come unlock your power!! ~Mistress Mercy Mistress Colette is an incredible person, teacher and Domme. What a privilege and an honor to sit under her teaching! Her soul is so beautiful and her heart for this work is evident. She is an experienced Domme without question and I learned so much from observing her and sitting under her teaching. She has a beautiful way of lifting you up and encouraging you to reach for more. Mistress Colette makes sure you feel heard, cared for and supported in this journey. I especially appreciated how welcoming she was of those just starting out and how she encouraged us to be brave enough to be the fool, while knowing we are the magician – the fulfiller of dreams. ~Lady D If you are thinking of taking this class to remove the obstacles to be in your power, this is the right place to be. Mistress Colete will guide you to replace your trepidation for confidence and competence. This is one of the best investments I made for myself. ~Dommx Sirenity For the future Mistresses, Just know that this beautiful journey will both be the answer and ask so many more questions that you will just want to keep diving deeper into yourself and the human psyche to become a fuller, more divine version of yourself. Whatever you put into this course – in terms of time, sincerity, courage – you will receive ten-fold. So don’t ask yourself if, ask yourself when. And do this when you feel you are most at need of a gentle push onto to your Domme path. ~Lady Ellana As someone fairly new to the kink and bdsm community, I found MistressClass to be more than I could have ever expected. I went into the class thinking I’d come out with practical knowledge and tools, but Mistress Colette gave us so much more. She provides a roadmap for discovering your inner Domme and how to express her inside and outside of the dungeon /container. I’ve built not only a practical toolbox of knowledge and toys, but also confidence, self love, and ability to connect with people. ~Adira If you are ever in doubt about who you are or where you stand in this world or are just looking for female empowerment. Take this class whether you are a professional Domme or a housewife, it will do wonders for you. Best thing I’ve ever signed up for!!! Thank you Mistress Colette! ~Mistress Electrix MistressClass helped me gratify that this work is my passion and there is so much to learn in a group setting. Connecting with so many other woman felt like a sisterhood I did not know existed. Every class, my heart and mind opened more to the possibilities of this world and work. Collette brings in her own subs and fellow Dominatrix colleagues to show us full circle every time of play and Dominatrix there are in the world. By doing this, I felt it help inspire how I could cultivate my own definition and world to invite people into. I want to continue to support MistressClass and my fellow sisters in all their Power. The sisterhood created in this class made me feel like there is a place I belonged. There is nothing but support in the discord channel we all connect in and there is so much Power in that. From this class I have some powerful tools to work on creating my professional dominatrix business and being a bad ass powerful sexy woman in all aspects of my life. ~Miss Lady Lynx For more testimonials from the Mistresses of MistressClass, [click here.](https://www.pervette.com/mistressclass-testimonials/ "MistressClass Testimonials") Or if you’re ready to join MistressClass, [just say yes..](https://evolvingradical.com/mistressclass/) [Y E S !](https://evolvingradical.com/mistressclass/ "Play How") [I’M IN!](https://evolvingradical.com/mistressclass "Play How") ### Join the MistressClass Playlist If you’d like to receive curated Femdom Wisdomme & MistressClass updates Join [our MistressClass Playlist](https://forms.gle/pa2VVuuJZLsZ8r9H8) ~ --- ### [Shadow Series](https://www.pervette.com/shadow-series/) **Published:** January 8, 2025 **Author:** Colette Pervette **Content:** ### The next Shadow Series will be in Spring 2027 ### Join us in [MistressClass this Fall 2026](https://www.pervette.com/mistressclass/) Dear Mistress, Are you ready to step into the dungeon feel the pulse of a scene and let it move you to play with your power? If the answer is yes, then you’re ready for.. ## **The Shadow Series** The next level of MistressClass’ Femdom Training is finally here And it will take you to the edges and into the shadows ~ **The Shadow Series** is an initiation into the world of kink & Femdom where you’ll experience firsthand the art of the Domme and learn to wield your power by shadowing veteran Pro Dommes. This is [how I learned to be a Dominatrix two decades ago](https://www.pervette.com/seeds-of-shadow-series/ "Seeds of Shadow Series"). And now, I’m opening the doors for you to step in to discover what power play looks like and how to create meaningful scenes with confidence and creativity. You will be learning by stepping into my dungeon.. Dear Mistress, Are you ready to step into the dungeon feel the pulse of a scene and let it move you to play with your power? If the answer is yes, then you’re ready for ## **The Shadow Series** The next level of MistressClass’ Femdom Training is finally here and it will take you to the edge and into the shadows.. ~ The Shadow Series is an initiation into the world of kink & Femdom where you’ll experience firsthand the art of the Domme and learn to wield your power by shadowing veteran Pro Dommes. This is [how I learned to be a Dominatrix two decades ago ](https://www.pervette.com/seeds-of-shadow-series/ "Seeds of Shadow Series") and now, I’m opening the doors for you to step in to discover what power play looks like and how to create meaningful scenes with confidence and creativity. You will be learning by **stepping into my dungeon..** ### **Experience the Power of Shadowing** The fastest way to learn the art of power exchange is to witness it in action. In this course, you’ll shadow live full-length BDSM scenes, observe the psychological dance between Domme & sub, and how their unique interplay unfolds in real time from negotiation to scene to aftercare. ~ After each session we’ll unpack the scene from both the Domme and sub’s perspective and decode the unspoken intentions & emotions behind the interplay of the Domme & sub’s interior experience ~ You’ll be shadowing an array of guest Dommes and their subs, each bringing their unique artistry, showing you the many ways power and play can be embodied and expressed. ~ And because Domme work is work on self, we’ll also get into Shadow Work and do the shadow exploration and integration that is so necessary to cultivate our personal power to bring it out to play. ### **Experience the Power of Shadowing** The fastest way to learn the art of power exchange is to witness it in action. In this course, you’ll shadow live full-length BDSM scenes, observe the psychological dance between Domme & sub, and how their unique interplay unfolds in real time from negotiation to scene to aftercare. ~ After each session we’ll unpack the scene from both the Domme and sub’s perspective and decode the unspoken intentions & emotions behind the interplay of the Domme & sub’s interior experience ~ You’ll be shadowing an array of guest Dommes and their subs, each bringing their unique artistry, showing you the many ways power and play can be embodied and expressed. ~ And because Domme work is work on self, we’ll also get into Shadow Work and do the shadow exploration and integration that is so necessary to cultivate our personal power to bring it out to play. **What You’ll Learn** Prepare and create a safe container for a full range of BDSM scenes Gain a toolkit of fundamental & niche BDSM activities which includes Predicament bondage, corporeal punishment, CBT (cock and ball torture) Medical play, electro play, needle play, sounding, strap-on play, slut-training Verbal humiliation, interrogation, mindfuckery, erotic hypnosis, Sensory play, fire & ice play, water sports, edge-play and more Double and expand your play with multi-Domme scenes Explore the range of play with female, male and genderqueer subs Create your unique style of domination by infusing your passion and gifts Craft a deep and meaningful arc & journey through a scene Explore a sub’s turn-ons and their roots in the unconscious / shadow Bring subs into subspace for healing, emotional release and empowerment Create BDSM scenes serving as rituals for personal transformation Provide thoughtful aftercare and post-session integration ~ **How You’ll Learn:** Step inside my private dungeon and shadow live BDSM scenes Observe guest Dominants and submissives in their raw, authentic power exchange Break down the psychology of both Dom and sub perspectives Explore the interplay of power, desire, and transformation Learn techniques to safely explore edgier play through hands-on tutorials Hone your communication skills to build trust, connection, and deeper play Practice playing or shadowing fellow Mistress’ scenes in our Sandbox Hour Explore & integrate your own shadow to unlock deeper self-trust, authenticity & confidence in your play in our Shadow Work sessions. [SO READY](https://evolvingradical.com/shadow-series/) [COUNT ME IN!](https://evolvingradical.com/shadow-series/) **What You’ll Receive:** 6 Live Shadow Sessions, 2.5 hours each 2 Sandbox Sessions to practice your play & shadow others 2 Shadow Work sessions to explore & integrate your shadow Pro Domme Biz Teatime to chat about the in’s & out’s of the biz Dommework assignments & creative challenges Optional After Class Q&A Unlimited access to all class replays Gain multiple perspectives + pro-tips from guest Dommes Connect in our Mistress sisterhood in our Shadow Series Telegram Bonus Magic Hour calls to stay connected in our alumni community Invitation to our in-person Shadow Series Graduation Party And more to be announced ~ ### Dates and Times Class starts on Sunday, April 12th And is held every Sunday 4/12, 4/19, 4/26, 5/3, 5/10, 5/17 10:30am-1pm PST ~ **Sandbox Play Hour** Thursdays: 4/30, 5/14 3:30-4:30pm PST ~ **Shadow Work** Let’s go inward and integrate our shadows To deepen our Power and expand our Play Wednesdays: 4/22, 5/6 5:30-7pm PST ~ **Pro Domme Biz Teatime Chat** Let’s sip tea & spill the tea on the business of our lives Thursday, April 16th 5:00-6:30pm PST ### Join the Playlist Join our [playlist](https://forms.gle/LLVmAAR7YG7hYU4m8) to receive updates on when enrollment opens for the Shadow Series [YESSS!](https://evolvingradical.com/shadow-series/) [LET’S PLAY!!](https://evolvingradical.com/shadow-series/) Are you ready to step into the shadow To find your power through play? ## Frequently Asked Questions ### **Is this course online or in person?** This is a virtual course, so all sessions are held online. However, at the end of the course, there will be an optional in-person Shadow Series graduation party in the Bay Area, California—a chance to meet in person, celebrate your journey, and play together! ### **Do I need to take the original MistressClass before enrolling in The Shadow Series?** No, the two classes are designed to complement each other and can be taken in any order. While MistressClass focuses on in-depth tutorials of BDSM activities, The Shadow Series immerses you in full-length, real-time sessions, allowing you to see how these activities unfold in practice. The only overlap is that both courses cover fundamental BDSM techniques. However, the approach is different: In MistressClass, you learn through structured, detailed tutorials. In The Shadow Series, you observe these fundamentals being applied in real sessions, followed by brief debriefs tutorials and discussions. The Shadow Series is more immersive and edgy than MistressClass, incorporating a wider range of BDSM activities and a raw, hands-on perspective. ### **Is this class for those with no experience in kink, or is it for those who want to become professional Dominatrixes?** This class is designed for both those who are completely new to kink and want to explore their dominant side, and those who are interested in becoming professional Dommes. My own journey began with no prior experience in kink—I stepped into the world of professional domination as a complete beginner. But the process of learning the craft of being a Pro Domme became the most intensive crash course in kink and personal empowerment that I could have asked for. The Shadow Series mirrors that journey. It’s a holistic course in the art of topping—one that not only teaches BDSM techniques but also helps you find your voice, embody your dominance, and play with your power. ### **I live outside the U.S., and the time zone difference makes it hard for me to attend live. Can I still participate?** Yes! All classes are recorded, and you’ll have unlimited access to the replays, allowing you to watch them at your convenience. Many past students from Australia and Asia have successfully completed the course by watching the recordings. They’ve shared that they still received the full transmission of the teachings through the replays. As long as you watch the replays in a timely manner, keep up with your Dommework, stay engaged with the Shadow Series community on Telegram, you won’t miss a beat. ### How is the Shadow Series different from the original MistressClass Series? Both the original MistressClass and The Shadow Series offer a deep dive into the art of Female Domination and BDSM, but they take distinct structural and pedagogical approaches. The original MistressClass is designed with a more formal training structure. It includes: - Mini shadow sessions (~20 minutes in length) - Tutorials on fundamental BDSM activities - Guest Domme speakers - 1:1 interaction and play with Colette’s veteran submissives - Pro Domme business teatime chats - A longer timeline (12 weeks, with class every other Sunday) Held in my home and sanctuary, MistressClass has a “light and approachable” atmosphere, making it an accessible entry point into FemDom. By contrast, The Shadow Series takes a dramatically different approach, built around the idea that you can learn how to be a Dominatrix simply by shadowing full-length sessions—just as I did when working at a commercial dungeon. There’s no formal instruction; instead, you absorb the craft by observing, until you “get it” and feel ready to step into the role. In this series, you’ll shadow hour-long, full-length BDSM sessions taking place in my private dungeon, witnessing: - Negotiation and consent-building - Scene build-up, climax, and aftercare - Session pacing, flow, and rhythm - Transitions between activities and positions - Layering multiple BDSM techniques - Energetic dynamics between Domme and sub - The art of improvisation in BDSM You’ll also shadow guest Dommes as they conduct full-length scenes, exposing you to different styles, techniques, and energies. While MistressClass provides a structured, guided introduction to FemDom, The Shadow Series is an immersive, raw, and edgy experience, streaming directly from my dungeon. It offers a deeper look into the nuances of BDSM and scene creation—allowing you to witness, absorb, and embody the role of a Dominatrix through real-time observation. After shadowing the sessions, we’ll deconstruct the scene from the Domme and sub perspective, offer mini tutorials on the activities applied in the scene and open up the space to Q&A. [Y E S](https://evolvingradical.com/shadow-series/ "Play How") [I’M IN!](https://evolvingradical.com/shadow-series/ "Play How") ## Testimonials Truly an enticing, exciting, eye-opening journey down the rabbit hole of the Dark Feminine…the primal wild kinky side! A must for anyone Domme curious! I love that one may experience this world from the comforts and safety of their own home through this course, at their own pace (given that videos are recorded and available to watch later,) while being given the opportunity to reveal and face shadow parts that are likely to arise in any deep dive such as this. Fun, edgy, & transformational! Mistress Thorn ~ Working with Colette Pervette through the Shadow Series has been deeply inspiring for my growth as a Domme. What I value most is her realness and rawness. She never pretends to be perfect, but instead shares her journey and lessons with honesty & vulnerability. That openness models a courageous and compassionate way of doing this work, one that embraces humanness while still striving for growth. I’ve also been incredibly inspired by her creativity. From scene design and negotiation to introducing new kinks and practices, the way she approaches this work with both artistry and care has opened up new possibilities for me. Her example has sparked fresh ideas to explore with my own subs and has helped me expand my skills in meaningful ways. Domina Ina Ignis ~ Being part of the Shadow Series gave me more confidence and trust to own my gifts, connect with my vision more deeply, and take inspired action. Colette modeled authenticity so fiercely that it inspired our community toward courageous and radical expression. Queen Violet ~ I participated in this course with hardly any experience in domination. The course gave me a lot of perspective on what’s possible. It stripped away many prejudices, taboos, and preconceptions, and deepened my understanding of how profound the work of personal growth is. I feel that through the course, I discovered my inner dominant & will continue this journey with her enthusiastically moving forward. Thank you so much for the course. Lady Claire Petra ~ I am so grateful for Mistress Colette and the way she has created a safe space where vulnerability and radical honesty are honored with the utmost reverence. Because of this experience, I feel a deeper freedom to go for what I want. It is a deep and rare learning opportunity that I would recommend to anyone who desires getting to know themselves better. This series was phenomenal. Dark Eden ~ This course changed my life. And has put me on a path to become a pro Domme. I joined this class because I wanted to see what real scenes looked like and how they played out. It definitely met my desires and more. I love finding our community, the biz tea time chats and I especially love the full sessions, all of them were so beautiful and impactful. Adeline D ~ Having gone through the Shadow Series, I now have a better body and sexual connection with myself and my partner. All of my prejudices were dissolved. The learning I did in the Shadow series enabled me to understand myself better, and this in itself is an unique gift. Mistress Velvet Sin ~ Mistress Colette’s Shadow Series cultivated my Domme voice and gave me the courage to step into my power as a lifestyle Domme. I felt held by the community of powerful women she has connected, learning and growing my own skill set. This course evolved my perspective on kink as I embraced the shadowy parts of myself and integrated them playfully into my Domme persona. All my desires were met, and then some! I truly appreciated the structure of the discussions around each scene and I especially enjoyed learning the subs’ perspectives. I feel like I grew and became more confident in my approach to lifestyle domination. The cherry on top was the Telegram community. I loved the discussion there and sharing a space with so many powerful women. I came out of this course more creative and confident. Thank you so much for this experience, it was a blessing to be a part of it. Domina V ~ I started this journey with my partner as lifestyle Domme and I’m so glad I did. This has deepened our relationship and also opened up a world of new possibilities for us to explore. I loved learning from the guest Dommes. All the sessions were inspiring my unique style of play. I tried everything in every class that spoke to me. I told my partner, Hey I just learned something in class wanna try? 😉 The Shadow Series helped me blossom into my Domme personality fully. I have even used some of the techniques in my workplace and felt more confident. Lady Lotus ~ Colette and the Shadow Series is such a wonderful way to peek behind the curtain and learn more about the art of bdsm while being part of a nurturing community. The shadow sessions were so enlightening. It was inspiring to see everyone’s styles. This was the perfect course to learn more about myself, my style, and how I want to continue to embrace my divine feminine power. Goddess Sequoia ~ This course was amazingly powerful mirror for me, finding my style and my inner domme. This was the beginning of my journey and I feel like it was just what I needed. Miss Pixie ~ One of the many valuable things I took away from the Shadow Series was the confidence to become an independent Pro Dominatrix. By seeing a wide array of Dom styles in different contexts and places (Dungeons, living rooms) to truly feel what turns me on and what pieces I desire to incorporate into my own play scenes. I learned so much about myself and my BDSM desires and how to embody my inner Domme parts. I learned a great deal about how to create and customize BDSM containers in a way that is in alignment with my desires and intentions. This was everything that I needed in my Domme journey. Express Luciana ~ Mistress Colette models a kind of vulnerability and honesty that I deeply admire, one that embraces growth while also being compassionate and forgiving toward yourself. Acknowledging the humanness, the mistakes, and the learning process without pretending to be perfect is such a powerful example. Domina Ina ~ The full length shadow sessions were incredible. Having multiple styles demonstrated at length alleviates the mystery and pressure that comes with the craft. Watching women embody their power and seeing that power transform a collective atmosphere left me awestruck. It shows the importance of aligning oneself with an environment that supports authenticity. The entire series was such a beautiful example of power given, not forced. And then, there’s the lifelong connections I’ve made along the way. Thank you for attracting such kind and forward thinking people to your classes, so that we may all find each other. My challenge: Wanting to so fully convey how impactful the Shadow Series is and fearing I won’t be able to do it justice. This series is life changing: May you find the courage to explore it with your whole heart. Mistress Cleo Erembour [COUNT ME IN](https://evolvingradical.com/shadow-series/) [I’M SO READY!](https://evolvingradical.com/shadow-series/) --- ### [unfiltered](https://www.pervette.com/unfiltered/) **Published:** December 11, 2025 **Author:** Colette Pervette **Content:** Write about mom I feel like I can only write about things that has the most energy. Like it’s bubbling inside me and it has to come out. I know I have to write about my mom. My intuition knows that writing about her is part of my healing process. It’s been 77 days since she passed away. I’m still working through the grief, the regret and all the sadness that comes from looking back.. I want to create a zine that addresses all the regret that I feel now. It’s all the things that I wish I had done (more) when she was still alive. Maybe it’ll be called, “If your folks are still alive, do this while you still can” I wonder if it would make a difference. It’s basically “visit your folks more often and call your mom more.” Well actually there’s more. I should preface that even though this is a guide for those who still have their parents, this probably isn’t for everyone. I’m making this zine for me, or someone like me. The 20- or 30-something-year-old me, the 1st-generation Vietnamese- American child of refugee boat parents. The 2nd-born daughter who probably has a higher dose of unconscious filial piety than most because I’m constantly made aware that my parents sacrificed so much (their very lives) so that I can be here, living out my version of the American Dream. It’s made for someone who knows that their folks are/were perfectly imperfect. That they made a fair amount of mistakes, showed their love in controlling ways, but ultimately tried their best while at the same time not knowing any better. This might not be for those who are in “no contact” with their parents. This is for those who are still in touch with their parents and deep down know that it would be good to reach out more, but somehow life and work and more interesting and exciting things always get in the way. If this is you. I’m gonna tell you what happens when your parents die. Well first, you have to brush your cool atheism aside and get metaphysical with me. When you, your parents or anyone dies, they will do a “life review.” As in they will look back on their whole life and see all the choices they made from beginning to end. But the interesting twist is that in all the choices that they made that affected others, they will experience the choice that they made from the perspective of the other. So if they did something that hurt somebody, they will feel their pain. On the flipside, if they did something that made someone happy or feel loved or cared for, they will feel that too. The reason why I’m mentioning this is because after my mom passed away, while my mom was experiencing her life review, I was going through my own life review too. I was looking back on my whole life through the lens my mom’s eyes, asking myself where was I in my 20’s and 30’s? Why wasn’t I coming home more often or calling my mom more? I could feel now how disappointed my mom was when I moved away to Berkeley for grad school. She really wanted me to stay in LA, closer to her in Orange County, so that I was just 45 minutes away by car and not 400 miles apart. She wanted me to come home more often. She wanted me to call her more. Looking back, every time she calls I can now hear the subtle tone of concern and sadness when she starts with, “I’m just calling because I haven’t heard from you in a a while..” I can feel her loneliness knowing that all her kids moved far away. I can now also now detect in her voice when she “lets me go” and says goodbye, how aware she was and can tell when I’m too busy doing something or on my way to somewhere. She never wanted to bother me or keep me on the phone longer than I wanted to be. I can also feel the worry she felt when I didn’t pick up, which was very often. I felt like my mom was always calling at the worst times, as I’m running late to my sessions or running around with one of my boyfriend(s) at the time. Now that I wish I can call her, I remember all the times that she called and I didn’t have it in me to talk. Now that my mom is gone, I can now feel all my absence in her life when she was here. In other words, It’s in her physical absence from my life that I can look back and see my own absence in her life. Life is filled with their cruel ironies that everyone who love and lost their parents will tell you: You will take for granted what you have And you won’t value what you have until it’s gone. And you will come to find out only when it’s gone that there’s nothing more valuable than the time you get to spend with those you love while you still can. ~ I’m in the bargaining phase of my grief. I’m filled with the woulda’s and coulda’s. The days and weeks after my mom died, here’s what I wished I did: 1. Collect their oral history. I wish I asked her more questions about her past, her childhood, her teenage years and early adulthood. Basically what was life like growing up in Vietnam, during the war. I had bought several books on capturing your parents oral history. One was called “Mom’s Story” the other was “Mom, tell me your story.” I had got started on it with mom. I was just on page one. I asked her how she was born. She told me where (it’s all audio recorded) She was so excited to share the names of who was there. She tried to remember the name of the midwife, she’ll call so and so to ask because they’ll remember… She was very excited about my interest in her story and really happy to share her story. All of summer when I was taking care of mom I was asking her questions, not from the book but just from my own curiosity. And on the days when she was not in pain and had the bandwidth to look back, she told her story. So in a way, I did collect her oral history. But I didn’t get to ask all the questions. There were 2 full books of questions to ask. When I look back on the blank pages and all those unanswered questions, it makes me sad. So grab those oral history books or a blank notebook, make up your own questions, sit down with your mom / dad / caregiver (if you’re in contact with them) and ask them about their past, start with the happy moments, like who did you play with when you were young? what did you after school? and then work your way to the more intense moments, where were you when (enter historical moment they lived through)? and record your whole conversation (with an audio recorder). These recordings will be priceless. 2. Celebrate their birthdays, make a big deal out of it, make each one memorable. Because you’ll never know when their last one will be. You have no idea how much I regret not going home for my mom’s last birthday this year. Logistically it was tricky. I had already gone home two weeks before her birthday to take my mom to her oncologist appointment (like I always do) and I was teaching Writing in Bed on that Sunday, which happened to be on her birthday. If my folks had faster internet I would’ve went home that weekend and taught from there. But that Sunday was also the day that my friend was free that week to come over to my dungeon and do a photoshoot, creating the promotional content for my new course, The Shadow Series. And it was that very week that I “needed” to start promoting for the class. I was feeling the time crunch. “Don’t go home again, you were just here a week ago. And you know me, birthdays are just another day, it’s not a big deal for me” my mom said and I took her word for it. So on her birthday, I worked. I taught my writing class, then I went straight to the dungeon and shot promo videos and photos for the Shadow Series. And then I took my photographer friend out for a nice dinner afterwards. And it was in the middle of the dinner, when my stepdad texted to me, my sister and my mom in our family group thread a photo of my mom’s birthday cake that he got for her with the number 7 and 0 as candles on it, that I had a sinking feeling. She turned 70 and I wasn’t there to celebrate it with her. Am I gonna regret this? I began to wish that I flew home right after my writing class ended (at noon). I could’ve made it in time to take them out to a nice dinner. When I called my mom earlier that day to wish her a happy birthday and asked what she had planned for her birthday, she said my stepdad was gonna take her out their favorite buffet (of all places) for dinner but after my mom got ready, they thought maybe going out to a buffet is a bad idea since she’s immunocompromised, so they stayed home and had takeout and birthday cake instead. All that night, the day after and weeks after I thought, am I going to regret this? Will this be her last birthday? And sadly, it was her last birthday. And I was so busy that month with teaching and promoting my new class that I had forgot to do what i always do, which was mail my mom a birthday card and check for 1K. My mom always told me and my sister not get her anything, just cash is good. So it was our tradition to mail her a check for 1K every year. This year, 2 weeks after my mom’s birthday, my mom called and asked if I had mailed her anything, she knows I always do and was worried the card/check got lost in the mail. Omg mom, I’m so sorry, I was so busy, I forgot to mail you your birthday card. It still eats away at me that for her last birthday, her 70th birthday, I didn’t go home and celebrate it with her and I was so busy with work that I didn’t send her a birthday card, which is really the least I could’ve done. Her last birthday was unmemorable, not a big deal, and one of my biggest regrets. So go home for your folks’s birthday, especially if they’re getting up there in age, esp if it’s a new decade of their life they’re celebrating. And if you can’t make it home, send them something sweet in the mail. Or do something creative to let them know how much you appreciate them for being born. Find a way to make it a big deal, no matter what they say. 3. Listen to your parents’ favorite songs with them. Ask them about these songs. Where/when were they when they first started listening to this song? Why do they like this song so much? If the song is in their native language, ask them, what is this song about, what do these lyrics mean? When my dad passed away 5 years ago, I listened to this mixed CD that he made for me. It was a compilation of his favorite songs, which happen to be mostly power ballads belted out by the great divas of the 80’s and 90’s (i.e., Whitney Houston, Celene Dion, Gloria Estefan, Bette Midler, etc) for 3 years. When P died, I made a playlist of all the songs we used to listen to (which were mostly indie bands I introduced him to) and now after my mom died, I listen to her favorite songs everyday. Her favorite singer is Si Phu. I listen to her favorite albums of his on repeat. I listen to her favorite albums of his on repeat. Right now as I sit in this teashop and write these words. I also got Si Phu playing through my headphones. And I so wish I had a memory of me asking mom, when she was alive. I wish I knew how old she when she first discovered this song. I wanna know how this song soundtracked a specific time and era in her life. Was she in her 20’s, 30’s or 40’s? What decade of you r life is this song bookmarking? I wanna know. So carve some time to sit and listen to your folk’s favorite songs with them. Let the song be a door that you get to open into their past. And when you listen to that song after they’ve crossed over, you have so many sweet memories embedded in the song. And trust me, when they’ve departed from their earth bodies, one of the most valuable things you’ll have left to cherish are their favorite songs. Listening to their favorite songs will sometimes feel like this is the closest way you can be back in touch with them. By listening to the lyrics and melodies that have moved them, you will be moved too, \*witch is cultivating a spiritual connection with creative material.\* The more I listen to my dearly departed’s music, the more I’m so appreciative and in awe of musicians who can create and give such powerful gifts to the world. A song is poetry that can touch and change lives. I can create a whole zine about these favorite songs (of my beloved and departed) that I’ve listen to on repeat and, \*witch has been beautifully weaving their soul’s essence into the soundtrack of this season of tears.\* 4. Make time for outings with your folks. It’s so easy nowadays to go home and visit your folks and do nothing special with them. Everyone is locked into their devices and can scroll endlessly. My stepdad is on his desktop computer checking how his stocks are doing and checking out the latest posts on Amazon Marketplace, my mom is on her ipad scrolling on Facebook with Youtube blasting on the big screen TV and I’m on my phone scrolling. We’re all “together” in the same space, the kitchen / family room, but in all own worlds. The inertia it takes to get out of our comfort zones to make plans and actually get off our asses and go somewhere is huge. You HAVE TO be the initiator, the driving force to do something different. Make plans, book that reservation, declare that “we’re going” to (destination) at (time and day), get everyone to agree and then go. It can be to go for a walk around the arboretum or park, or to that new restaurant you wanna try out, or to the beach or somewhere to catch the sunset 5. Plan that trip, book the flights and go. One of my biggest regrets is not being able to take my mom to Japan. We both love all things Japanese. I grew up on Hello Kitty. My mom loves beautiful things. We’ll buy anything made in Japan. We love their impeccable design, great packaging and the craftsmanship that’s poured into every detail. Ever since I fell in love with Japan from living there for weeks and months at a time when I was with P, I always envisioned myself taking my mom to Tokyo. Flying her on her first business class flight, imagining her luxuriating in the more spacious and fully reclining seats, enjoying the more elevated in-flight meals. I can see us at cutesy cafes trying sipping our lattes and trying the yummy and not-so-sweet pastries. I can see us buying a ton of Japanesey trinkets, pens, stationary, crocheted stuffies that you can’t get anywhere else but there. I can see us visiting temples and shrines, praying at the feet of beautiful statues and altars. I can see the look of awe in her face as she takes in the view and vibe of a buzzing metropolis that feels exciting and new and at the same time my nervous system is regulated because she’s in an incredibly safe culture, where there’s no fear of pickpocketing (like in Vietnam) or kidnapping and organ-harvesting (like in China, at least that’s what we’ve heard). If you don’t have stupid money to afford business class flights, then book the reg economy flights and just go. Because if you wait too long, wait for when you’re not too busy with work, or when “you made it” and have all the time and money in the world, you may have waited too long and lost your chance. Because it’s not just your timeline that you have to consider, it’s your folks too. If they’re getting up there in age, there will be a time when those “windows of opportunities” will close. Absolutely catch the years before they hit their 60’s. And if they’re in their 60’s and 70’s and beyond are in still good enough health to fly, to take the cruise or go on a roadtrip, do it! You never know when they might get a heart attack and have to put a stint in their artery and now they’re too afraid to fly (like my stepdad), you never know when they’re too tired of life to carry on and decided to end it on their own terms (like my dad), you never know when they get a cancer diagnosis (like my mom), you’ll never know. So book that trip and create a core memory together. Get past the fact that your folks may be fear-based and going anywhere with them is exhausting because you’re adventure-based and don’t see danger lurking in every corner. Get beyond the fact that a trip with your folks isn’t as cool, exciting or party-filled as a trip with your friends. Get beyond the inconvenience and the amount of energy it takes to block out those dates, pack your stuff and travel with your aging folks. Get beyond yourself and do it for both of you. Because you will never know when that window closes, and how it will crush your heart when you realize that the chance is forever gone and all you can do now is imagine what it would be like if you had booked that trip and made it happen. 6. Take more photos. I sometimes think taking a photo of a moment takes you out of the moment. But now I realize it’s just a moment out of a whole experience. Don’t be lazy, and take that photo of you and folks when you guys are together. It doesn’t matter if you or your mom doesn’t have your face on. If they protest, you can just say, no one else is going to see this other than me. Take the photo when you’re at somewhere new. Who cares if it seems like an inconvenience to ask a passerby or a server to take a photo of you both. If there’s no one there, extend your arm and take a selfie together. Just take the photo. Because most likely you won’t remember that random moment or time when you went to the beach or that korean shaved ice place. Your future self will thank you for taking a moment to capture that time you had together. Trust me, when they’re gone, and there is no more time to be had together, all you have are your memories of those times together, and if your memory is not photographic, then you’ll be glad that you have a photograph to remind you of that time when they picked a giant guava (the size of their head) from the tree in the backyard and held it up proudly for you to capture, or that time they were crocheting a new pink sweater for your old worn-out beloved teddy bear, or that time they went to the neighborhood park with you and your aunt (her younger sister) visiting from Vietnam. Just take a moment to take that photo. 7. Create a slideshow. After my mom died, I took on the task of compiling my mom’s photos and creating a slideshow for her memorial. As I was going through her photos all the way back to her childhood in Vietnam to her most recent photos of her holding her baby grandson this year I thought to myself, I wish I did this before mom died. Wouldn’t it be nice if I had gathered all her photos-like the old physical photos and digitized them (i.e., taking a photo of them on my phone) and the ones of our trips and basically all her photos-and created a slideshow and had it playing on our big screen TV so we can look back on her whole life in photos together. We can pause on some of the old photos and I can ask her, who is this? And she can tell me which relative that is, and maybe she would recount what happened before or after this photo was taken. There are these photos of her and a dozen other kids, her siblings and cousins playing in the flooded streets of Vietnam. What’s going on here? I wish I can ask her, Who is who? I took hundreds of photos of my mom in our last trip to Vietnam in 2018. It was the trip of her 35th high school reunion. I have so many photos of her and her old high school friends sharing meals, going to dance halls, eating che (a vietnamese desert) on the streets. I wish I had a chance to show them to her. I wish I went through all the boxes of photos and took all these loose old photos from the 60’s to 90’s (in the eras before digital photography) and put them in nice photo albums, so that we can flip through them together. My partner in the last year started this project of digitizing all his family old photos and uploaded them into two digital photo frames. Every time he goes home, he would digitize several hundred photos. One of the digital photo frame sits in his parent’s place and the other is in our home. It’s thousands of photos. And his mom keeps telling him how much joy it brings to her and his dad to see these old photos and memories pop up in the frame. I wish I had done that for my mom. It’s a project that pays off the sooner you do it. The slideshow for my mom’s funeral was beautiful, but it was only played once, just at her funeral. If I had put in the energy to do it sooner while my mom was still here, I could’ve had my her enjoy it. And she’s the person that would get the most out of the slideshow of their life. It’s like they get to see a mini movie of their life and reflect on all the eras and decades and sweet little moments. So if you can, go home, collect and compile all your folks’ old photos into a photo album and/or digital slideshow. And take a moment to look at them with your folks and ask them about those moments. Let the photos be an artifact and part of your practice of collecting their oral history. 8. Collect your folks’s recipes. My mom makes her own yogurt. It’s the Vietnamese style 9. Call your folks more often. 10. Be present. Act as if this was your last day with them. PERVETTE MANIFESTO FOR POWER/PLAY 1. Play with the new tools and technology. Just don’t let them play you. We’re living in a time of infinite possibilities. Where you can create a living by being creative. You can create a following, make content that goes viral and have your message, art and voice be seen and heard by millions of people. Everybody can shoot their shot and if they play their cards right have their 15+ minutes of fame. Playing with the internet and social media can invite these new connections and possibilities. The trick is to not fall into its traps. And[ there are many, esp if you’re a sexy creator.](https://www.pervette.com/dont-get-deleted/ "Don’t get deleted") Don’t get hung up on the like count, nasty comments and comparison with other peers. Don’t let your mood and day be dictated by the bots or the algorithm. And if you’ve gotten big enough that you now have haters,[1](javascript:void(0))congratulations, you’ve made it, to the point of pretty high visibility! don’t let the trolls get to you. Playing with social media is as much a creative game as it is a mindfuck. You have to find a way to let your creative genius and soul express itself (in the most unique, authentic, interesting, beautiful and/or hilarious way) so that you can attract other like-hearted souls (with similar values) into your inter web. But at the same time you have to be aware that these tools and apps can easily play you, make you self-conscious and insecure. Or if you’re not conscious of its design to steal your attention, it’ll make you a consumer, zap your time and energy, and lure you into endless doom-scrolling. Your phone is a powerful device, it can be an oracle and creative tool and at the same time it can be a weapon of mass distraction. Find a way to play with it so that it inspires you to be creative and connect with others, but draw boundaries so that it doesn’t make you less present. 2. Uncover your BONDAGE. In the dungeon, when you submit to another, you can see what your bondage is. It’s the rope or cuffs that bind your wrist, the blindfold that takes away your sight, the gag that muffles your voice. Outside of the dungeon, we all have our bondage, but’s it not as obvious to us as when we’re in the dungeon. Our true bondage is invisible to us because we can’t see it or consciously feel its weight. But it’s there. If we aren’t doing what want to do, saying what we want to say, being who we want to be in every moment, then we are in bondage. We all have ourl golden handcuffs, that seemingly good thing we have or got going on[2](javascript:void(0))like the well paying job that drains our energy, or the co-dependant relationship that doesn’t nourish our heart that holds us back from being in our fullest self-expression and realize our wildest dreams. What’s our metaphorical gag that stops us from speaking our truth and telling the other (or larger world) how we truly feel or think? What are our blindspots that keeps us falling into the same self-sabotaging patterns? What are we subconsciously choosing to not hear or see so that we don’t have to face our fears? All of this is our bondage. We can’t see it because it’s all inside our heads, and eludes us like our shadows. Maybe it’s our ego that holds the dominant voice. It tells us to stay comfortable, play it safe and don’t get hurt. Or even worse, maybe that voice tells us that we’re not enough, that we need do more or have more to be worthy of love. In the dungeon you’re aware of your bondage and therefore can choose to experience it or opt out of it. Outside the dungeon, when you’re not aware of your bondage, thus you can’t see the path or choice to free yourself from it. The most important thing is this: you have to become conscious of your unconscious bondage. And from that place of awareness, can you choose to.. 3. Cultivate your DISCIPLINE practice of figuring your way out of your bondage. Once you become aware of your bondage, you now have to *do the work* of freeing yourself from the bondage. This typically means doing the opposite of what you typically do. You have to unlearn your disempowering habits. Maybe you’re a people pleaser and you go along with other people’s wants and don’t know how to voice your own desires and boundaries. So you’re disciplined practice is telling the truth. Not just any truth. The awkward and uncomfortable truth. It’s your most painful truth (the truth that hurts the other or bruises your or their ego) that’s the most powerful truth. It’s the shadowy or shameful truth that you feel like you can never say. That’s the truth that has to be told. Because the alchemy is in the expression. Once you can tell your story, your whole story, shadow, shame and all, you own your story. Once you own your story, you are the author of your story. Once you’re the author of your story, you can see all the choices that you can make. Once you can see all the choices that you can make, you are can finally choose to live the story that you want to tell. Your disciplined practice can be many things (including telling your truth). Maybe it’s taking care of yourself, doing things are not easy to do but you know that are good for you. Meditating, exercising, getting off your phone, writing, not being so judgy, practicing non-violent communication, having a mindful relationship to money. You have to identify your BONDAGE in order to consciously cultivate a DISCIPLINED practice of freeing yourself from it. 4. In the dungeon, you’re very aware of Rule #1 about Twin Flames Your twin flame may be someone you already know and you have no idea that they are your soulmate / your other half. While you’re out there looking for “the one,” your twin flame might be floating around in your orbit, hiding in plain sight. They are not on your radar because they are not what your ego is looking for. Therefore they may seem like someone you would never date. They are not your type.. I had a nickname for him. Richie Rich. Because the guy was young and was a new money techie. And he had this unflattering way of showing it. He was wearing a gauche burgandy velour LV tracksuit when he sauntered in my dungeon. He told me how he was able to power his volcano vaporizer in his Mercedes and get high while driving over to our first session. Who the heck gets high before a session? The audacity. He was an objectively good-looking guy. Tall, wiry build, brown hair and deep set eyes. But all of that was negated by the way he carried himself. His gait was floppy (maybe because he was high). But it was really his voice that killed any possiblity of attraction. His words sounded squishy in his mouth. Like his tongue was too big for his own mouth. He has a lisp. And then the he laughed at his own joke, I can’t remember what it was other than it wasn’t funny. His laugh was loud and grating like a hyena’s. What a terrible shame and waste of all the other winning qualities he had going for him (young kinky and physically cute) I thought, it’s crazy how incredibly unattractive he made himself without even knowing it. --- ### [Dear Ma](https://www.pervette.com/dear-ma/) **Published:** October 21, 2025 **Author:** Colette Pervette **Content:** ### **Dear Ma,** These are the words I never got to say. ### **What I remember[1](javascript:void(0))from growing up with you** You could peel the skin of a fruit with your knife in just one go. Fuji apples, fuyu persimmons, kent mangos, guavas, the fruits varied depending on what was in season growing in our backyard or whatever you got at Costco. There was always a long ribbon of peel on the table as you diced the fruits into a plastic bowl for me. You would always cut two kinds of fruit and tell me to eat the least sweet one first, or else it’ll taste bitter. The sweeter fruit was the last thing I eat before I brush my teeth at night. ~ I was 8 when I started stringing together all the ways to say g’night: “Good night, nighty night, sleep tight, sweet dreams, I love you” I had to tell you that every night, esp. I love you, just in case something might happen to you in the middle of the night. There was always a fear of losing you, it was felt in my chest, the pang of knowing that I would regret it if I didn’t let you know that I love you. . When I can hear you coming home through the garage, I would run and dive under the covers and pretend to be asleep. It was some secret game I played with myself. Can I go from racing to pretend sleep in seconds? Can I trick you even though I was out of breath and my heart was pounding? I also just wanted to see how you would treat me when I was asleep. Sometimes you can tell I was pretending, sometimes you can’t. ~ We escaped our small little 2 bedroom apartment every weekend by driving down to Westminster, taking surface streets all the way. We would stop by Song Long, pick up spring rolls, a flan, and a croissant, share each of them in the car, then head towards Huntington Beach to catch the sunset. Then we’d drive all the way to Litte Bean in Rowland Heights and grab one shaved ice with lychee, almond jello, mochi and red bean. Then we’d catch the view of the skyline as we drove home down Fullerton Rd. That was our ritual for 6 years from when I was in 8th grade till my first year in college. . ### **What I know**[2](javascript:void(0))from caring for you We almost forgot that you were sick and had stage 4 lung cancer. The targeted chemo medication, Tagrisso, was this magic pill. It stopped the spread of your cancer and you carried on fine for 2 years after your diagnosis. No one can tell that you were sick. Actually no one knew that you were sick, except for us, your immediate family. It was a well-kep secret. Then one day, you felt a sciatica-like pain radiating down your right leg. It was a dull pain that only came on at night. It was manageable, you said. It got worse after you spent a whole dinner at Fogo de Chao, holding your new grandson, while E was on the phone outside arguing with her business partner. You never told her how your pain got worse from that night, because you know she would feel bad. I’m pretty upset with her lack of awareness. How do you make your mom hold your baby for an hour in the restaurant? I don’t want to blame her for your pain. But your sciatica did coincidentally come on after those many months of worrying about E’s postpartum depression [3](javascript:void(0))which I was able to fix within a month, getting her on progesterone (for the depression and anxiety) and trazodone (for the insomnia). You lost sleep and you stopped going on your daily walks. You have a tendency to get worried sick. Her postpartum depression got better by February, and your leg pain started in April. We were concerned that maybe the pain was coming from your cancer that had already metastasized to your hipbone when you were diagnosed. Maybe it had grown deeper into your bones. Your oncologist had you get 3 MRI’s along your spine. Why spine? we asked, when the pain was coming from your right hip. She said sometimes the pain originates from the spine. Your first MRI on May 9th showed nothing new. I came home for Mother’s Day (and Dad’s Death anniversary) on May 11th. I massaged cbd oil on to your feet and legs. You felt better. You said, I bet if you were here these past few weeks, my leg pain would’ve been gone by now. The day I took off on May 14th you had your 2nd MRI. The technician was mean to you and something was off about the whole procedure. She stopped the MRI short. You thought you were done, but instead she injected you with more contrast dye, and the moment she did, you felt a burning sensation all throughout your body. You were close to pressing the ringer in your hand to stop the MRI because you thought you were gonna pass out. But you grit your way through it. And when the MRI was over, you could barely get up from its bed and walk out. You reached out your hand so that the technician can help pull you up, instead she yanked you out and you limped your way to the car. And after that, your leg pain went from manageable to unbearable. It makes me so mad to know that the MRI technician was being nasty to you and that there was some malpractice going on when she injected you twice with the contrast dye. I wish I was there to take you to get your MRI instead of B. B’s good at chauffeuring but he’s not gonna advocate for you like I would. I would’ve done my thing, chat it up with the staff, let them know about your condition, talk in my warm but semi-serious tone let them know how it’s important to be gentle with you and that I’m here to not only translate for you but make sure that your well taken care of. You sounded terrible like you lost your voice. The MRI did something to me, you said. After my class, the Shadow Serie, ended B called me, your mom’s really not doing well, he said, I think you need to come home. I booked a flight home the next day. ~ Tramadol was doing nothing for the pain, so they got you on Norco. ~ Don’t pick him up so much, you would tell B. If you hold your baby too often, they will always want to be held. They’ll become needy. From your hospital bed, you were giving B parenting advice. You told me, I never held you. You didn’t need anyone to talk to or play with you. You were the easiest baby. I guess I should be proud of the fact that I was easy, because you definitely were. Now I’m confused, when the time comes, should I hold my baby? Or should I do my thing and just let her sit in her crib and pass the time by quietly observing the world around her? I think I turned out okay for never being held and I like that I’m fiercely independent. Weren’t you concerned that I was mute? I asked you. Yeah we were all concerned, you didn’t make a sound or talk at all until you were almost three. I remember your dad was upset at your uncle for always calling you “câm” (mute). But I think it’s because no one talked to you. The odd thing is that I remember having this meta thought in my head at the age of 2, something along the lines of, “Even though I’m not talking, I can hear my thoughts as words and sentences in my own head.” ~ ### **What I feel [4](javascript:void(0))now that you’ve crossed over** What hits first is all the regret. The I wish For 10 days, after you passed, I would have this recurrent dream that you were still alive but breathing through the ventilator. But then at some point in the dream I would become lucid and remember that you have you have already passed. That I no longer have to be the one to let the doctors know that it’s time to go into hospice. I no longer had to figure out how much more valium and hydromorphone to give you to make sure your last breaths were easeful. Is it a recurrent dream or can I call it a nightmare, bringing me back to the most painful time I have ever experienced, having to say goodbye to you. Holding on to you knowing that any moment might be our last. And then when I became lucid, and start to wake up, I remember that you are already gone. I remember exactly how I lost you. . That at least you’re not in pain anymore. But god it hurts that you’re not here with us anymore. In Vietnamese, when you say someone passed away, you say “Người đó đã mất.” It literally translate to “That person has lost.” As in they lost their life. They lost their way forward. But in the end, it’s the lost that everyone who loves you feels. That lost never goes away. . I became the one you trusted with your life. This whole summer, you kept on saying to me, “I would be dead without you.” I was present for you until I wasn’t, in that last week before we knew you had pneumonia. I got caught up with work. I was the one the doctors talked to first. I was your translator. I was the one who knew first that you weren’t gonna make it. It was just 2 days after calling 911 and being admitted to the hospital. The pneumonia was filling up your lungs and the antibiotics were you making your health decline more rapidly. If it weren’t for your stage 4 lung cancer, they can drain your lungs. But in this case, it would make it collapse. ~ I was so naive. When you were diagnosed with pneumonia in the ER, I said, That’s good. We now know what’s been making you 10/10 fatigue and unable to eat for weeks. They’ll give you antibiotics and you’ll be fine. You were hopeful as I was that everything will be okay. I honestly thought that you would get better in a few days and I would be able to fly home the next week and throw the graduation party for my shadow series class as I had planned. . I’m drifting on two planes: the past and the present. On the past level, I look back and feel the sorrow of everything that I miss about you, and all the missed opportunities. All the ways I could’ve shown up more. All the experiences and memories we didn’t get to create. When I’m thinking about the past and all the lost moments, I feel sad knowing how you wanted me to visit more, call more, spend more time with you more. On the present level, I know that you are still here but in spirit form. You are no longer in pain. You are free. You are enlightened. You are making your way towards the pureland. And I can be happy for you. . I promised mom that once we take the bipap ventilator mask off her face, I will comb her hair. I know how mom is, even in her sick days during this summer, she would still comb her hair and put it up in a bun and do her skincare routine at night. So when It hurts to write about your death. It hurts to to remember how awful and sad those last few days were. But I want to feel the sadness of your lost. Because moving on as if life goes on, everything is back to normal. That feels even worst. ~ Day of the Dead holds a different meaning this year. It’s my first time buying marigolds. I also got pink carnations (I rarely get carnations) but they go well with the orange marigolds and yellow chrysanthemums. I spend an hour clipping and placing them into vases, placing them at your altar. ~ The big baby pink chrysanthemums at your altar are still beautiful and vibrant. It’s been 3 weeks of them being in full bloom. They say that flowers at the altar magically stay alive longer than they typically should because the spirit of that altar is keeping them alive. ~ Why do I keep going back to the heartbreaking moments of you last week here on earth? Is it because i want to feel the pain of your lost because I rather feel that pain than just carry on with life as if I can move on. ~ The barista at Highwire asked how I’ve been, he hasn’t seen me in a while. Oh just moving through it all…it’s been intense..a lot of deaths.. I can feel my eyes flooding with tears as I said my mom died. I started to really cry when he voided my matcha latte on the register, and said this one’s on us as the other barista behind the espresso machine gave me a heart hands gesture and sad face. I didn’t think I was gonna cry. I think I was touched by their gesture. It’s so subtle at times, the sadness, that I thought I was over the uncontrollable crying. I guess I’m not. . I always call you on the day daylight savings ended. We would both lament how sad it feels when the day is cut short. It’s so dark right now and it’s just 5pm. ~ It’s going to take a while to adjust to this change, W says, you guys just lost the matriarch of your family. Your mom was like Cleopatra. It didn’t dawn on me until he said “matriarch” that I realize how perfectly that word described you and the role you took on not only in our nuclear family but in your extended family as well. You were the lifeline to all your brothers and sisters back in Vietnam. You supported them, like you promised you would when you left on that boat for America. ~ I straddle these two plane. The plane of material reality. Which brings me back to the past, of all our memories when you were hear on this earth. Which somehow leads me to regret all the moments that we didn’t get to have. Past = Pain Then there’s the plane of spiritual reality, which brings me to the present, and I know that you are still here but in a different dimension. That you’re truly at home. You have returned from this strange trip on planet earth. Present = Peace If I see this lifetime as a small blip, if I see it all from the wider perspective of our multiple lifetimes and eternity, then I’m okay. If I fixate on this one life, that I didn’t do perfectly right by you and to your desire, I’ll beat myself up. ~ If I go back, I can connect all the dots that led you to your end point in life. All the possible things that did it. Yes there’s the physical things, like you sleep late at night (3am was your typical bedtime) and don’t get enough of it. You don’t eat vegetables. You sit on your favorite spot in the sectional sofa all the time and scroll on your ipad. It was holding your grandson fro too long at the one dinner that exacerbated your pain. It was the 2nd MRI and the 2nd contrast dye injection that made you sick in your body made your pain even worse. It’s the gadolinium of that contrast dye. It was all the painkillers. But’s it’s the emotional things that can lead to the dis-ease of your lungs. When you were in pain, you spent most of your days listening to Si Phu, Duy Hoang, and that one song you listened to on repeat at night before bed, Ngay Ve by Trong Tan. I’m so glad that I was there to note all your favorite songs. Now it’s my way of connecting to your spirit. I can feel you listening to these songs with me. I translate the lyrics of your songs into English and I unlock another layer of your soul’s desire when you were on earth. Your favorite songs are “Nhạc vàng,” yellow music. Music that was made in South Vietnam when our flag was yellow, before we lost our country to the communist party in 1975 and our flag turned red. Nhạc vàng has this wistful tone to it. The songs are often about parting and longing for lost days, unrequited love, having to say goodbye. I think you resonated with them during the war, when all the ~ 4 of your friends who have come to the temple every week to pray for you in your 49 days have seen you in their dreams. They’ve even seen your ghostly apparition. H was the first, she saw you walk the grounds of the temple where your urn now sits. M and P both saw you when they woke up their naps. She said you look like you were in your 20’s. Hauntingly beautiful. M asked you to not appear again to her because she was scared of ghosts, then you disappeared. Then A saw you walking around the temple. Your right shoe was dirty. You grabbed a brush to clean your shoe. I wonder if it meant that the pain from your right leg is no longer there. How come none of us in your family have been visited by your apparition, we wonder. I had a dream the other night that I had one day to complete a book assignment. I had to write a book in one day. It had to be a physical book. I saw the pages I was working on. It was vellum. I thought, how can I finish a whole book in a day? Then I thought, I can write a book about losing you, it’s called the book of sadness. I was going to ask the teacher to see if she would let me write 2 books and give me more time. The first book I can write in a day was the book of sadness. The other book is my memoir. ~ It’s late November and the leaves are finally turning orange and red in the Bay Area. Driving down the streets of Berkeley, I’m reminded of every Fall that I had here in my 20’s, 30’s and 40’s. The passing of time. I wish I can go back to every decade and buy back that time and spent it more with my mom. I think I went home once every season. What I wish now is that I went home home every month. It’s a strange thing to look back on your life and see it through the lens of regret. You really don’t know what’s truly valuable to you until it’s gone. Time well spent with loved ones. Love freely given. That’s priceless. You hear from others how much they regret not spending enough time with their their parents until they pass away. It really doesn’t mean anything to you until it happens to you. Until it’s too late. That’s when you “get it.” No I understand why death contemplation is such a key component to Buddhism. You really start to live when you think about death. But to think about death goes against our instinct. We’re wired to think about living, not dying. --- ### [Book of sadness](https://www.pervette.com/book-of-sadness/) **Published:** November 29, 2025 **Author:** Colette Pervette **Content:** If your heart hurts because you lost someone dear to you, this is for you.. Please note, this guide touches upon the metaphysical and spiritual. If this does not align with your beliefs, this guide may seem too woo-woo. But I do believe the quickest way to healing from the loss of a loved one is to allow yourself to be spiritualized. 1. Make an altar 2. Listen to their songs 3. Cultivate your spiritual practice 1. Turn off your phone 2. Activate their altar 3. Meditate 4. Pray to them, pray for them 4. Go on walks with them 5. Fulfill their wishes when they were here 6. Write to them 7. Remember that the pain you feel is the depth of your love 8. Give that love to your/their loved ones.. 9. Contemplate on their beautiful gifts and qualities, cultivate them within yourself and carry their spirit 10. Read.. (recommended list of books) Create an altar for your loved one. Carve a physical space for them to spirit to occupy. When your loved one crosses over, you will miss having someone to turn to, someone to talk to. You will miss their presence. I remember when I lost my dad, the funeral home wanted us to print a photo of him for the urn and the temple we were doing our 49 days wanted a framed photo of him, so I was the one tasked to go to FedEx and print his photo. It hit me when I saw the multiple copies of his face photo printed out, he’s gone. This is as physical as we can get with him. A dimensional photo. I made extras of the same photo. I decided to frame one. And place it by Since my mom’s passing, I’ve been drawn to astral projection, understanding where souls go after they die (i.e., learning about it through NDE accounts), Carl Jung, alchemy and Hermetics, testing text --- ### [pain is a portal](https://www.pervette.com/pain-is-a-portal/) **Published:** September 3, 2025 **Author:** Colette Pervette **Content:** ### PAIN IS A PORTAL a little context[1](javascript:void(0))i started writing this on 9.15.2025 while i was taking care of my mom in her cancer journey. she was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. i’ve been by her side since 5.26.2025 supporting her through the most painful days of her life as the cancer grew deeper into her bones. and on 9.25.2025 my mom passed away from pneumonia and cancer complications. all of these words are what my higher self would say to myself when i’m feeling lost in my own feelings ~ one day everything seems normal you do your your daily rituals you do your work you’re making plans maybe you’re even in your flow then the next day, something happens and everything changes first it was just your plans and then you realize it’s actually your whole world that’s been turned upside down and then it hits you and you start to feel it the pain. . you can call this painful experience a curveball a crisis or just fucked up but all of us at some point will experience our own season of intense suffering we typically never ask for it[2](javascript:void(0))or at least consciously it just happens and then we are tasked to deal with it. . but here’s the thing if you see pain as just a problem to solve or a fucked up feeling that’s awful and sucks[3](javascript:void(0))your soul, your energy, your life force and you want it to end it won’t. . but if you see your pain as a portal as an initiation a gateway a journey into the unknown that holds the potential of unlocking a new and more powerful dimension of yourself then you will get through it, victoriously. . because pain doesn’t have to be just a feeling that you want to run away from or numb yourself from . if you see pain as just a feeling you will feel defeated everyday every minute every moment when the pain doesn’t go away. ~ if you see pain as a portal as something larger as an opportunity to learn and grow from then you will expand beyond your (known) self. . pain is a portal pain is a portal pain is a portal . these are the words you need to keep telling myself when you’re going through it repeat it like a mantra to remind yourself that this pain you’re feeling are growing pains dismantling your ego and pushing you beyond your edges every tear tells you something about yourself and your reality where your boundaries were/are what you love and have lost what you fear and you’re facing it brings you closer to your truth your soul’s work and to our humanity. ~ when you’re going through your painful time know that you always have a choice you can choose to [see](https://www.pervette.com/pain-as-a-nuisance/) [pain as an obstacle](https://www.pervette.com/pain-as-a-nuisance/ "pain as a nuisance")[4](javascript:void(0))and tell it to go fuck itself or you can choose to [see pain as a portal](https://www.pervette.com/accept-the-initiation/ "accept the initiation")[5](javascript:void(0))and accept the initiation (this is a [work in progress](https://www.pervette.com/work-in-progress/)) [more works in progress](https://www.pervette.com/living-book/ "living book") to [the playgroud](https://www.pervette.com/playground/) if i’m not writing here then i’m probably [pouring my heart into this ](https://www.pervette.com/mistressclass/) --- ### [creatrix manifesto](https://www.pervette.com/creatrix-manifesto/) **Published:** September 16, 2025 **Author:** Colette Pervette **Content:** ### THE CREATRIX MANIFESTO FOR GROWTH 1. **Create you own safe space.** As I write this[1](javascript:void(0))the year 2025 we are living in a very unsafe time. It’s paramount that we create our own spaces to play in, to speak freely in, to dream big in. A place where there is no room for fear or judgment. This can be bdsm sessions, hosting gatherings, building community, making music in your room, writing in your journal or just calling a loved one up and having an honest conversation. If you are being censored, silenced or deleted on other platforms, create your own website and write freely there. The more destructive the world outside us becomes, the more we have to create our own sanctuaries and islands. If you feel called, create a lighthouse on your island, broadcast your voice, so that other like-minded safe folx can find you. 2. **Go offline**. Don’t get stuck in the doom scroll. Remember, the more you consume, the less time you have to create or just be. Take as long a break as you need from social media and your phone. These are weapons of mass distraction. Put it in a lock box. Or put it on do not disturb. See how long you can go without checking your phone. Cultivate your taste Write fast. Send your ego out. --- ### [pain portal toolkit](https://www.pervette.com/pain-portal-toolkit/) **Published:** September 15, 2025 **Author:** Colette Pervette **Content:** ### PAIN PORTAL TOOLKIT[1](javascript:void(0))as a fellow pain portal traveler i’ve collected a few insights, tools and practices along the way in my journey through several pain portals and so here is what helped me move through the pain.. TOOLS & PRACTICES[2](javascript:void(0))i’m just listing them now, but i will expand upon each practice and how/why it works for me journaling & writing meditation prayer long walks reading music contemplation energy healing chanting dancing exercise sigils talking to empathic listeners[3](javascript:void(0))esp with those who understand your pain plant medicine[4](javascript:void(0))if you haven’t got into meditation, sometimes plant medicine can be your gateway into meditation. psyllocibin, ayahausca, iboga, then there’s animal medicine, like bufo or kambo, my advice is don’t do it until you feel called to it, listen to your body, the wisdom from your body will know when the time is right. sit with a trusted and experienced guide. this is powerful medicine that has potential to heal but if done in the wrong setting or if you’re not of sound mind, it can do a lot of damage. so be careful. err on not doing it if any part of you doesn’t feel ready. and if you do sit with the medicine, start with a small dose. treat the medicine like a portal and not just a drug for recreational use. allow the medicine to be your teacher, surrender to it, and allow it to offer you new ways of seeing yourself and being in the world. then cultivate your meditation practice so that you can access that elevated altered state anytime you want micro-dosing[5](javascript:void(0))on magic mushrooms, this is a game-changer, the key is to set your intention and find what your right micro-dose is, be precise, if you bite more than your micro dose you’re going to feel wobbly or trippy, then you know you’ve gone too far, that’s a mezodose. find your dose and choose your protocol, mine is 50mg every other day. you can micro-dose up to 3 months at a time, after that take at least a one month break. every time you micro-dose, set your intention adaptogens[6](javascript:void(0))my faves are: chaga, lion’s mane, mucuna pruriens, moringa, ashwaghanda, maca, he show wu, reishi spiritual medium creating an altar the pattern on the trestleboard carving space & time for self-care creating a spi/ritual practice flaneuring crystals and stones helping others make art go offline INSIGHTS pretend the pain portal is a bdsm session that the universe offered to you you trust its timing and you accept the challenge to move through the entire session like a good sub you don’t resist what’s being doled out to you you don’t try to top from the bottom and ask for less pain and discomfort and more pleasure you trust everything you’re experiencing every sensation every feeling every breakdown is exactly as it should you allow yourself to be stripped of all your layers shed all your comforts and material security to be seen as you are naked and vulnerable . you allow yourself to feel the pain and discomfort to unravel your ego you surrender to the unknown to the pain to every moment you keep saying yes i accept thank you (more to write) allow the pain to shed light on your heart’s desire[7](javascript:void(0))because its not just the end of this pain that you desire, the pain is pointing to something your soul truly wants. ([work in progress](https://www.pervette.com/work-in-progress/), so much more to write, eventually every tool will be expanded into its own page) --- ### [living book](https://www.pervette.com/living-book/) **Published:** August 31, 2025 **Author:** Colette Pervette **Content:** ### CHOOSE YOUR OWN PATH #### [preface](https://www.pervette.com/preface/ "preface") #### [forward](https://www.pervette.com/forward/ "forward") #### start at the beginning #### go to the letter i never got to send #### [pain is a portal](https://www.pervette.com/pain-is-a-portal/) --- ### [accept the initiation](https://www.pervette.com/accept-the-initiation/) **Published:** September 15, 2025 **Author:** Colette Pervette **Content:** great job! on accepting the invitation the shift that you’re making to see this pain as your initiation is bigger than you think. . because the way to the end of pain requires of you to see it not as an obstacle but as the way to finding your power. . power by definition is is the ability to create change. . thus your power is your ability to create change first within yourself which will effectively create change in the world around you. . and when you can change yourself and the world around you into what your heart and soul desires you are essentially making magic. . because magic is making something out of nothing. magic is taking your airy visions and dreams and turning them into concrete reality. . so essentially you’re accepting the invitation from pain to honor it as your teacher as your path to doing the great work of getting to know yourself to master yourself to become the magician or master or mistress of your destiny . tldr: the path to ending your pain is the same path to finding your power is the same path to mastering yourself is the same path to realizing your innermost desire . so how do you do it how you find your path forward in this intense pain portal and become the magician/mistress of your dreams and visions? . well i just started working on this [pain portal toolkit](https://www.pervette.com/pain-portal-toolkit/ "pain portal toolkit") for you . ( this page feels incomplete, there’s more to write here about accepting the initiation, something about your soul’s work, ego is what makes the pain feels worse, if you strip the ego…) (end of thought, everything below are scraps, possibly create a new page for them) every magician is in touch with their soul’s urge and desire. . if you don’t know what your heart’s desire is and soul’s urge then get to know your pain ask it, why is it there? … to get intimate with yourself . you’re about to get to know your true self your boundaries your edges your heart’s desire your soul’s urge every pain is so distinct physical chronic pain the pain of heartbreak the pain of[ t](https://www.pervette.com/moms-pain/ "mom’s pain")[aking care of your aging parents](https://www.pervette.com/moms-pain/ "mom’s pain") the pain of losing your parent the pain of losing a loved one to suicide the pain of losing your beloved in a tragic accident the pain of being cyberbullied the pain of being outed and betrayed the pain of watching so many innocent people suffer and die in the hands of corruption every time you experience a different type of pain it’s like you’re being admitted into a new club and only those who’ve faced that ordeal and earned their place in the club can understand your pain you and everyone in that club has the potential to heal themselves and each other through the telling of their story and collected wisdom on how to heal from the worst days of our lives and spin it around and make it the best thing that could’ve happen to us . you may wonder how can the most fucked up and worst thing that happened to you be the best thing that happened to you? . there’s a seed of that potential in every painful experience it’s when you ask yourself how do i make the most of this pain? what can be learned and gained from these unusual circumstances that you can’t in any other way? . if you see pain as a portal you know that you’re moving through this even when you feel suck, lost, and tired that movement is not measured in tangible ways like how far you’ve come or what you’ve created or done it’s measured by how ([work in progress](https://www.pervette.com/work-in-progress/)) [more works in progress](https://www.pervette.com/living-book/ "living book") --- ### [pain as a nuisance](https://www.pervette.com/pain-as-a-nuisance/) **Published:** September 16, 2025 **Author:** Colette Pervette **Content:** fuck it’s no use you’re going in loops you can’t help yourself you keep cursing fuck this pain you want it to stop fucking up your plans your life you keep wishing it would just fuck off and you can get on with your day but nope it’s still there turning everything into shit . this pain is driving you crazy it’s making you [run away](https://www.pervette.com/pain-as-a-nuisance/) it’s making you [go numb](https://www.pervette.com/pain-as-a-nuisance/) it’s making you reach for something[1](javascript:void(0))the bottle, the phone, the pipe, pick your poison to [distract yourself](https://www.pervette.com/pain-as-a-nuisance/) from the pain . you don’t want it to get to you so you [do everything you can to not feel it](https://www.pervette.com/pain-as-a-nuisance/ "pain as a nuisance") (you keep on secretly [wishing it would just go away)](https://www.pervette.com/pain-as-a-nuisance/ "pain as a nuisance") . . . . after some time has passed and nothing has changed you realize this pain is not just gonna go away[2](javascript:void(0))is it just you or are you spinning around in an infinite loop going nowhere fast? running away from it seems to to actually prolong it distracting yourself from it or going numb is making you become the person you don’t want to be something has to change so you stop trying to avoid the pain or pretend it doesn’t exist [you face it](https://www.pervette.com/accept-the-initiation/) --- ### [a line a day](https://www.pervette.com/a-line-a-day/) **Published:** September 11, 2025 **Author:** Colette Pervette **Content:** a line a day.. 9/1/25- 9/2/25- coach sister, she’s becoming aware of her shadow, i tell her i’m proud of her. i go to benji’s jewish deli to get chicken soup for mom, it’s garbage. order atusko kudo latex, a gift from s. 9/3/25- morning rituals, make small meals for mom, she feels better, go to bookstore, gloaming walk in the park 9/4/25- posted on ig about my summer of pain after a 3 month break. outpouring of well wishes and kind comments. got nails done. mom gets iv. 9/5/25- flew back to berkeley. first time back since may. my eyes got wet reconnecting with my house. dumplings, boba, ice cream. got a new planner at east bay booksellers. 9/6/25- flaneur at the park, strolling through campus, it’s already back to school. putting tlc into the house, watering my plants, tidying it up for tomorrow. cook dinner. 9/7/25- pulled it off last minute with no stress. 3 student mistresses, 2 subs, me and a documentary crew exploring happiness and bdsm. ramen shop for dinner. full moon lunar eclipse. 9/8/25- perfectly still air day in my backyard, writing. being home reminds me how much i missed my life here. hike at inspiration point, izakaya dinner. our waitress’ name is utopia. 9/9/25- fly back to oc to be with mom. her legs are all skin and bones. i look up rice cooker congee and oyakodon recipes. i miss my berkeley utopia. 9/10/25- mom had her first chelation. she doesn’t feel good. neither do i. tried making oyakodon, mom said the smell of it made her sick. she threw up. feeling deflated.[1](javascript:void(0))charlie kirk was murdered. i probably shouldn’t have, but I watched the video of his murder on twitter 9/11/25- back to writing on pervette, started this page, mom is nauseous and in pain. the writing helped me find the energy to create a post 9/12/25- i post about & did an email blast announcing the magic hour call, pain is a portal. i tell mom she needs to walk more. she goes outside with me 9/13/25- happened upon a fair, started planning for pain is a portal then realize just share all of your pain portals, i got this 9/14/25- we gathered and opened up the portal. i bared it all, so many cleansing tears, so many brave shares. our story is the medicine 9/15/25- yesterday inspired me to write, so I wrote [pain is a portal](https://www.pervette.com/pain-is-a-portal/) & [accept the initiation](https://www.pervette.com/accept-the-initiation/) & the[ pain portal toolkit, ](https://www.pervette.com/pain-portal-toolkit/)mom is in pain, stays in bed, i cancel my trip tomorrow 9/16/25- exploring [different ways to write everyday](https://www.pervette.com/nulla-dies-sine-linea/) back to [where you were](https://www.pervette.com/playground/) --- ### [forward](https://www.pervette.com/forward/) **Published:** September 1, 2025 **Author:** Colette Pervette **Content:** ### Forward when i first started working as a pro domme at a commercial dungeon,[1](javascript:void(0))called the gates we were told very early on that there are three things that you don’t talk about with your clients: 1. never tell them you’re sick[2](javascript:void(0))because sickness isn’t sexy. and you want to maintain the illusion that you’re invincible 2. never discuss about your real-life relationships and partners 3. never discuss politics because all of the above would ruin the fantasy. ~ it’s sep 1st 2025 as i write this. and i’ve just been through one hell of a summer. from end of may till now, i’ve been taking care of my mom as her lung cancer spreads further into her bones. then [my twin flame](https://www.pervette.com/twin-flame/) died in a fighter jet crash. and in the background are the news of a double genocide live-streaming on our phones. families being ripped apart in our police state. i can’t pretend like it’s not happening and put on a good face and act as if everything is normal. ~ for me the only way to move forward is to talk about the things that matter to me matters of sickness and dying, life and death, loss and grief the not so pretty sexy things sharing my reality may shatter the illusion for some but it’s okay i rather create a shared reality . dominatrixes are modern and edgy archetypes of feminine leadership. we work and play with our power and create worlds that realize secret desires and subvert societal norms i’m curious to see what would it look like if we share more of our sides and our story and wisdomme that we’ve collected from playing on the edge and in the shadows . what can we teach the world around us? how to play? how to be free? how to not give a fuck? how to make wild fantasies come true? . i want to see how we do it how we exist and navigate the real world how we work with and move through real-world pain. how we navigate a world of blatant injustice and abuse of power how we transform not just our subs’ but our own fantasies into reality . we hold dozens and hundreds of secrets and desires what can we say about the collective unconscious? what are our theories about how the world works? what are our philosophies? what do we value? what is the good fight that we’ll always roll up our sleeves for? . we have an opportunity to do something radical. to show what the power of the feminine looks like. what true power looks like. it’s not force or control. it’s not instilling fear. there are no lies in our dungeon and domain. . egos are checked at the door. . our power is our ability to create safe spaces to play in to dream in to be free in. . our power is our truth. [a work in progress](https://www.pervette.com/work-in-progress/) [keep moving forward](https://www.pervette.com/pain-is-a-portal/) back to [the playground](https://www.pervette.com/playground/) --- ### [preface](https://www.pervette.com/preface/) **Published:** August 31, 2025 **Author:** Colette Pervette **Content:** ### PREFACE i want to preface that all of what you’re reading is a rough and raw draft of my notebook. it’s a living book in that every page is a [work in progress](https://www.pervette.com/work-in-progress/) which will be expanded,[1](javascript:void(0))with more words, audio and imagery edited and maybe even deleted at some point. a few years ago i started the habit of writing fast on here without editing myself and hitting publish right away. it was a liberating practice that helped me get over judging my own writing. but then ironically the wrong part of the internet found my writing and judged me pretty hard. they cherry-picked the most salacious lines[2](javascript:void(0))and there were many if you write about kink, sexwork and polyamoryand distorted my story. and i was framed as a sex cult leader. that was actually not as cool as it sounds. i learned that writing about my life without censorship is a dangerous act.[3](javascript:void(0))and that ageplay jokes don’t play out well in spite of that, i’m starting it up again. i’m gonna write in my usual unedited way. call me crazy i can’t help it. i value process over product. and i like the rawness of automatic writing. it’s real and it’s intimate. i’m very much aware that there’s a chance that my raw material might get twisted again and i’ll have my character assassinated. again. you may think that i didn’t learn anything from the alleged sex cult thing. but i did. and it’s this: the more dangerous your story is, the more important it is that it’s told. from beginning to end, and with context.[4](javascript:void(0))last time there wasn’t much context since my writing was more like journal entries, making it very easy to distort things. so this time around my writing will be more topical and written kinda like a book with vague chapters so this time around i’m going to provide way more context and add my voice via audio clips. that way if things get taken out of context again, you can find the context here and hear the truth through the resonance of my voice. ~ the reason why it’s important to tell your story, esp if you’re a character who lives on the edge, pushes boundaries for a living and does taboo things that the mainstream doesn’t understand, is because your story combined with your wisdomme that you’ve gleaned from playing on the edge has the potential to change minds, open hearts, and turn people on to a new way of seeing and being in the world. there’s also a reason why i think it’s important for it to be raw. it’s the ego that wants things to be polished and make everything[5](javascript:void(0))esp yourself look good. i want to strip away that ego layer. because i don’t want to shy away from telling the whole story, shadow, shame and all. i want to be as raw and real as i can be. because i think it’s the rough and not-so-pretty stuff that makes your story more interesting. i’ll keep saying it to myself as i write: it’s okay if the wrong part of the internet thinks you’re a monster. if you write from the heart, you’ll quickly find those who get you and those who don’t. and that’s not a bad thing. wish me luck.. move [forward](https://www.pervette.com/forward/ "forward") go back to [the incomplete book](https://www.pervette.com/living-book/ "living book") if i’m not writing then i’m most likely [playing over here](https://www.pervette.com/mistressclass/ "Mistressclass") --- ### [inspo](https://www.pervette.com/inspo/) **Published:** September 16, 2025 **Author:** Colette Pervette --- ### [work in progress](https://www.pervette.com/work-in-progress/) **Published:** September 27, 2024 **Author:** Colette Pervette **Content:** Preface: Everything here is a work in progress If you’ve noticed already none of these pages are polished products. It’s because I’m writing stream of consciousness and then hitting publish. making everything raw, often times unedited and always always to be continued.. . What you’re essentially looking at are rough drafts. And if you follow each piece often enough, you can track my editing and and how I’m writing more on each page in real time. . Why am I doing this? Maybe[1](javascript:void(0))I love creating dozens of new threads at a time, work on whatever calls me and whatever doesn’t “I’ll get to it later.” . Maybe because raw feels intimate. And I think the only way to get intimate is to share myself with no filter. Because raw captures more of the real. I think we’ve had enough of censoring and filtering ourselves on all the other platforms out there. I want to create a space where I don’t have to think twice about what I say or write. . nothing here is set in stone. It’s permeable and subject to change. so please don’t judge stay open, And curious enough to come back follow me down these rabbitholes because if you do you’ll see how I experiment and play and grow this he(art) space and evolve.. back to [the playground](https://www.pervette.com/playground/) back to [my purpose](https://www.pervette.com/mistressclass/ "Mistressclass") --- ### [Playground](https://www.pervette.com/playground/) **Published:** June 23, 2017 **Author:** Sarrita Hunn **Content:** [![](https://www.pervette.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/headphones03.png) ](https://www.pervette.com/dear-mistress/ "Listen") [![](https://www.pervette.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/me_you_notebook_corner.png) ](https://www.pervette.com/living-book/ "And so it begins") [![](https://www.pervette.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/05/cutie01.png) ](https://www.pervette.com/dreams-and-wisdom/ "Power is") [![](https://www.pervette.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/05/colette03.png) ](https://www.pervette.com/to-the-path/ "To the path") [![](https://www.pervette.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/05/hourglass04_left.png) ](https://www.pervette.com/a-line-a-day/ "Timely") [![](https://www.pervette.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/computer2.02.gif) ](https://www.pervette.com/mistressclass/ "Playlist") [![](https://www.pervette.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/05/colette03.png) ](https://www.pervette.com/to-the-path/ "Play How") [![](https://www.pervette.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/me_you_notebook_smallest.png) ](https://www.pervette.com/living-book/ "What is Intimacy?") [![](https://www.pervette.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/headphones03.png) ](https://www.pervette.com/dear-mistress/ "sound well") [![](https://www.pervette.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/05/hourglass04_left.png) ](https://www.pervette.com/a-line-a-day/ "Timely") [![](https://www.pervette.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/computer2.02.gif) ](https://www.pervette.com/mistressclass/ "Playlist") [![](https://www.pervette.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/05/cutie01.png) ](https://www.pervette.com/dreams-and-wisdom/ "Dreams and Wisdom") --- ### [mom's pain](https://www.pervette.com/moms-pain/) **Published:** September 10, 2025 **Author:** Colette Pervette **Content:** one day everything seems great and normal, i just got done teaching [the shadow series](https://www.pervette.com/shadow-series/) to an incredible cohort of mistresses. still on the high from the class, i start thinking about my summer plans and all the creative projects i wanna launch, then i get a phone call from my mom. she’s not doing well after her mri and needs me to come back home. i book a flight and fly home the next day. it started as just a dull aching sciatica pain that gradually crept up on her over a span of months. we were concerned that the pain coming from her lung cancer which had already spread to her spine and hipbones.[1](javascript:void(0))but it was somewhat stabilized by her targeted therapy medication so we had to get scans to see if her cancer had progressed. it was the second mri on her thoracic spine that went terribly wrong. the contrast dye was injected too quickly and incompetently by a very unfriendly[2](javascript:void(0))or downright bitchy, my mom said technician. my mom felt a burning sensation throughout her body and thought she was gonna pass out. and ever since her pain level went from a manageable level 2 (out of 10) to crippling 8 and sometimes 10, like we should call 911 level 10. . my whole summer became devoted to taking care of her. feeding her, massaging her, reaching out to different doctors and naturopaths, trying every remedy out there in hopes that it can alleviate the shooting pain down her right leg. but nothing moved the needle. tramadol, hydrocodone, oxycontin, we kept on moving up the ladder of painkillers and trying different nerve pain killers to no avail. it’s a mystery, is it the cancer or is it the contrast dye from the mri (aka gadolinium, which is a toxic heavy metal) that’s causing the pain? when i wasn’t tending to my mom, i’m on the computer going down the reddit rabbithole of gadolinium toxicity and gadolinium deposition disease. it’s a not a well-known thing, but it is a thing. the mri contrast dye is essentially a toxic heavy metal that can cause neuropathic pain, among many other awful things. supposedly you pee out the gadolinium a day after your mri, but that’s not true for some. chuck norris’ wife was crippled by it and they had to spend millions of dollars in stem cell treatments in china to treat her. they tried suing the makers of the contrast dye. they lost. the more horror stories i read about gadolinium, the more anxious i got. i tried explaining to my mom’s oncologist that it could be the mri contrast that’s causing her pain. she’s not buying it[3](javascript:void(0))gadolinium toxicity is not acknowledged by many medical professionals, esp those who are telling you to get the mri’s with contrast dye . in fact, the oncologist wants my mom to get another mri with contrast done on her pelvis, ugh. there’s so much adrenaline running through my body, from seeing my mom in pain, then doing the research on the damage that gadolinium causes, on top of the sleepless nights tending to her pain. i’m constantly afraid that she’s gonna fall and break her hip. everyday, the pain gets worse and new symptoms arise: constipation, diarrhea, nausea, swollen feet, urinary retention.. are these side effects of the painkillers, or is it the gadolinium or is it the cancer?? my mom’s a tiger mom. a high protocol tiger mom. so not only is it painful to tend to her pain, it’s maddening as well when she asks you to do something while you’re in the middle of doing another thing for her and then she’ll micro-manage . “i’m not afraid of death. but I’m afraid of pain,” she says. when the pain is so bad, she keeps telling you that she can’t take it anymore, she just wants to die. so you look into end of life options aka assisted suicide. to reassure her that she does have a choice (and you hope that when given a choice, she would choose to live). apparently assisted suicide is legal in california. and there’s a dr in san diego who came highly recommended. you hold it all together when you’re at home with your mom. you gotta be the strong and calm one. it’s when you’re in the car driving around running errands then can you finally let it out and scream and cry like a mad person oh my god, i’m so tired. please help me.. . in moments like these i have to remind myself pain is a portal we all go through our own season of sorrow . my mom and i spent 11 days at cedar sinai hospital while she was getting her radiation treatment. it was there among 5 teams of different doctors: oncologist, spinal surgeon, neurologist, pain management dr, on july 21st, days after leaving the hospital with my mom, i get a phone call my [twin flame](https://www.pervette.com/twin-flame/), my previous partner and dear friend, one of the most important people in my life died in a fighter jet crash. ~ i can’t seem to write more than these few words to describe what i’ve been through maybe on another day i can say and share more. i have to remind myself that pain is a portal. we all go through it at some point. it can be heartache from a breakup losing a loved one unexpectedly taking care of your aging parents or watching the livestreamed genocide on our phones we all have our season of sorrow to move through . i’m still deep in the portal. --- ### [dear d](https://www.pervette.com/dear-d/) **Published:** September 1, 2025 **Author:** Colette Pervette **Content:** dear d, --- ### [Colette Media](https://www.pervette.com/colette-media/) **Published:** January 2, 2020 **Author:** Colette Pervette **Content:** ![](https://www.pervette.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/Vogue-Logo.png) ![](https://www.pervette.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/Los_Angeles_Times_logo3.png) ![](https://www.pervette.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/Playboy_logo1-.png) ![](https://www.pervette.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/New-York_Times_logo2-.png) ![](https://www.pervette.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/Menshealth-Logo.png) ![](https://www.pervette.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/HuffpostLogo.png) ### Colette Pervette in the Media I’ve been quietly going inward these past few years, but I’m slowly emerging back on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/dominacolette?lang=en) and [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/colettepervette/?hl=en) (here and [there](https://www.instagram.com/dominacolette/?hl=en)). Every now and then you might find me in the press or on a podcast.. ### **Press:** [“Many People are Embracing BDSM. Is it more than just sex?” in USA Today.](https://www.usatoday.com/story/life/health-wellness/2024/07/17/sex-dating-boot-camp-class-power-relationships/74430933007/) My teaching on BDSM and how its guiding principles can apply to dating is featured in USA Today. “That’s the beauty of what kink is,” Colette says. “It’s just truly flipping this around, where it’s not about pretense and posture. It’s about being seen fully as who you are.” [Redefining Power: Colette Pervette’s Mistressclass in Female Domination](https://huffmag.com/redefining-power-colette-pervettes-mistressclass-in-female-domination/) [in Huffmag](https://huffmag.com/redefining-power-colette-pervettes-mistressclass-in-female-domination/). MistressClass “isn’t limited to technique, it’s about empowering women to find their voice, connect with their desires, and embrace their feminine power.” [“](https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/top-10-visionary-educators-of-2024/ar-BB1hpt3f)[T](https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/top-10-visionary-educators-of-2024/ar-BB1hpt3f)[op 10 Visionary Educators of 2024″ in MSN.com](https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/top-10-visionary-educators-of-2024/ar-BB1hpt3f) So honored to be recognized as a top visionary educator and “champion of transforming lives” through my *edutaining* style of teaching in MistressClass. [Rewriting the Rules: How Colette Pervette is Leading a Feminine Revolution in Power and Sexuality in Influence Journal.](https://www.influencejournal.com/2024/10/mistressclass-colette-pervette-female-empowerment.html) “Colette Pervette, PhD is redefining the landscape of female empowerment, offering a revolutionary approach to education that merges intellectual rigor with the provocative art of BDSM.” [“Breakup bootcamp allows you to turn your pain into power” in LA Times.](https://www.latimes.com/lifestyle/story/2022-11-21/breakup-bootcamp) My BDSM workshop on alchemizing your pain into your power at Breakup Bootcamp was featured in the LA Times. “It was a workshop that many participants including myself, felt offered an ‘a-ha’ moment.” [“Get Inspired by 5 Educators Making a Difference” in Chicago Weekly.](https://thechicagoweekly.com/get-inspired-by-5-educators-making-a-difference/) “Bold, creative and tranforming lives for over two decades, Colette Pervette, is redefining the world of kink education.” [“52 Hours at Breakup Bootcamp” in NY Times.](https://www.nytimes.com/2018/06/02/style/breakup-boot-camp.html) The first workshop on Power that I led was at Breakup Bootcamp. It was written up in the NY Times. “With Colette Pervette we talked about- among so much else-sex, fantasy, communication, and shame.” [“Give Me More BDSM” in Playboy.](https://www.playboy.com/read/give-me-more-bdsm) I was interviewed by Playboy to talk about BDSM and its influence on consent culture. “How we as a culture accept BDSM is indicative of how open we are to the expression of sexual freedom overall.” [“I went to a Breakup Bootcamp and It Changed My Life” in Men’s Health.](https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a42460742/breakup-bootcamp/) “The most memorable talk was from dominatrix Colette Pervette, who taught us to think of BDSM as a metaphor.” [“Can a shaman cure my fear of normalcy?” in Vogue](https://www.vogue.com/article/breathless-karley-sciortino-fear-of-normalcy). Karley Sciortino recounts her trippy experience with me as she contemplates her fears and desires. “What makes Colette so special is that I learn more from her and evolve quicker with her than I have with any other.” [“A Bootcamp Promises to ‘Heart Hack’ the Sting of Breakups” in Playboy](https://www.playboy.com/read/a-bootcamp-promises-to-heart-hack-the-sting-of-breakups). The writer shares her heart-healing experience at Breakup Bootcamp where she was also taught a lesson by me. “Standing masked before us in black lingerie and stilettos, Colette called for a volunteer, to which I eventually responded..” [“9 sexworkers on their lives in the wake of FOSTA” in Huffington Post](https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/sex-workers-sesta-fosta_us_5ad0d7d0e4b0edca2cb964d9). I talk about how SESTA/FOSTA is negatively effecting sexworkers. What I wrote and shared (that got edited out) was much longer speaking to how different SW are effected by SESTA/FOSTA in more nuanced ways. [“Singletons mend their broken hearts at breakup bootcamp” in The Times.](https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/singletons-mend-their-broken-hearts-at-4-000-break-up-bootcamp-7m965gwg6) My workshop on Power was featured in the London Times. [“5 Sex Workers Describe How They Came out to Their Families” in Attn.com](https://archive.attn.com/stories/6976/sex-workers-explain-their-jobs-to-their-families). I share my experience of being outed as a Dominatrix to my mom. ### **Podcasts:** [Love, Lust & Magick: Embracing your taboo.](https://open.spotify.com/episode/1TtOJqJp4mi95wSbhhdtmZ?si=ksNXWQh0R56T-VZr-1luQg) Gaby Herstik and I chat about the world of BDSM, commercial dungeons, kink as healing and more. [Come Curious: Harnessing your Power: How BDSM Empowers Us in the Real World.](https://open.spotify.com/episode/0j1rtvINBqPhrqPm2wlUdR) We discuss how BDSM can be a tool for healing, and the importance of consent, communication, and trust in all forms of intimate relationships. [Shibari Study: Colette’s mission to eradicate shame.](https://shibaristudy.com/pages/podcast-episode-40-colette-pervette) I chat with Wicked Wren about all the things, from my strange quirks to my life purpose. [You Like It: The Power of Soft Dominance.](https://open.spotify.com/episode/5RKJoLbY6K9FY93xctIPKv) Eamon, Maddie, and I explore kink archetypes, the artistry of dominance, and the transformative power of shadow work. [The Angry Therapist: Empowering Women to Play.](https://open.spotify.com/episode/0F2aE5hpWXGuknkthNoAUW?si=YkESQ3SoRaOCiLJnQcqdCQ) I discuss my work & the world of kink. I share my definition of being a Dom(me) and more. [Vibeslut: Embracing Your Inner and Outer Dominatrix.](https://open.spotify.com/episode/3ThuGzQKlBVac2XiCOjWml) We learn all about Femdom, kink, negotiating rules, discovering fantasies, and finding a sub to bring out your domme. We also discuss how to find power within yourself and be true to yourself outside of the bedroom. [Luvbites: 10 Shocking Dominatrix Facts You Didn’t Know.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TCjyRtQKZhI&t=24s) Here we uncover the world of Femdom and some of the titillating things we Dommes get into. [Double Teamed: House Boys and Blood Play.](https://youtu.be/Lms-nxnsiL8?si=gGlltrgEgX1ESsab) I get into the edgy side of kink with Cami and Niki. Listener discretion is advised. [Double Teamed: Colette brought her sub.](https://youtu.be/t1WRVmodKcA?si=mg99XKpKem03KVAH) I return on Double Teamed with my sub Ben to talk about our D/s relationship, figging, and more. [Girls Gotta Eat: BDSM for Beginners.](https://www.girlsgottaeatpodcast.com/episodes/bdsm-for-beginners-and-beyond-feat-dominatrix-colette-pervette) I give a quick and dirty tutorial on kink, how to get started and have fun exploring bdsm. [Awakened Love: Rediscover your Power through Kink.](https://www.podpage.com/awakened-love/a-conversation-with-a-dominatrix-re-discover-your-power-through-kink-with-colette-pervette/) I talk to Angel about power dynamics, surrender and following your desires. [Life is a Festival: Why are all my Friends Becoming Dominatrixes?.](https://www.eamonarmstrong.com/lifeisafestival/colette-pervette) Eamon and I discuss the origins and motivations of kink as he role-plays a potential sub seeking a session. [Lelo Podcast: The World of BDSM. ](https://www.lelo.com/blog/lelo-podcast-the-world-of-bdsm/) I discuss with other sexperts the bedroom habits from the other side of the fence. [Sex Love Psychedelics: BDSM for Spiritual Transcendence](https://player.fm/series/sex-love-psychedelics-2394586/ep-136-bdsm-for-spiritual-transcendence-embodying-power-managing-public-projections-with-colette-pervette). Dr. Cat and I discuss kink as spiritual transcendence, embodying power and more. [Sluts and Scholars: MistressClass with Colette Pervette.](https://slutsscholars.libsyn.com/238-mistress-class-with-colette-pervette-phd) We talk about my spiritual approach to kink, how to find your inner Domme and more. [Unmistakeable Creative: Finding Power in Pain and Freedom in Bondage.](https://podcast.unmistakablecreative.com/colette-pervette/) I share my origin story and talk about the paradox of kink. [Velvet’s Edge: On How to Step into Your Power.](https://podcasts.apple.com/no/podcast/dominatrix-colette-pervette-on-how-to-step-into-your/id1364128350?i=1000582612470) I chat with Kelly and Chip on how to find your power by not being in control, but rather releasing control. [Mindlove: The surprising psychology of BDSM with Colette Pervette.](https://mindlove.com/034) Diving into the psychology and benefits of BDSM. [La Maison du Rouge: Interview with Educatrix Colette Pervette.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNRw-SEV7Bs) I chat with my friend Dia Dynasty about the power of fantasies. [Grow Big Always: A dominatrix smokes toad venom and loses her ego](http://www.growbigalways.com/episodes/2015/dominacolette). Talking about ego death and my experiences as a Dominatrix. [Touchpoint: Getting in Touch with your Fantasies with Colette Pervette](https://lovetouchpoint.podbean.com/e/getting-in-touch-with-your-fantasies-with-colette-pervette-phd/). Chatting with Jared about pervy fantasies and the importance of kink. [APEX Radio. The After Dark Show with Domina Colette. ](https://apexexpress.wordpress.com/2018/11/30/11-29-18-the-after-dark-show/) I share my experience of being an Asian American Dominatrix. Back to [where you were](https://www.pervette.com/who-is-colette/) --- ### [The Pain Diaries](https://www.pervette.com/the-pain-diaries/) **Published:** May 29, 2025 **Author:** Colette Pervette **Content:** ### The Pain Diaries I can’t be on social media for more than 30 minutes a day. Even though that is where I’m getting my news: ICE raids an elementary school graduation. Families are torn apart. I’m watching a clip of a mom clinging to the ground, crying and vomiting as she’s being detained as her son looks on in tears. LA Protests. National guards. Greta Thurnberg. Madleen boat mission. Got seized. No Kings Protest. The genocide continues. Do you remember when we had a ceasefire for a minute and all the Palestinians were celebrating, the looks of the children’s faces as if they made it through hell and survived. And then they took their word back and now they’re bombing and killing families trying to get food. And now we ‘re about to go to war with Iran. So many people are living a nightmare. Is it bad that I’m quietly judging those who are posting about their glamorous life, like everything is normal. My heart is breaking watching my mom suffer. And when I turn on the phone, it keeps on breaking. ~ Jun 19, 2025 5:32pm I have written in a long time. All my energy is consumed by my mom’s pain. If I’m not taking care of her, I’m doing my research, on what this mysterious debilitating pain can be and how to treat it. We’re collecting data, doing mri’s, finding nothing, revising our theories. But my latest theory is this: The doctor’s data collection is making her pain and condition worse. In her second MRI, on her thoracic spine, something happened that was not part of the protocol. my mom felt it was strange that 20 minutes into the test, the bery unpleasant mri June 5, 2025 ~ The way my mom appeared at the door with the mri technician with a smile. Did we get it? I asked. yeah we got it, he said with warmly wow. . I wanted to say good luck to the older mom I was chatting with as she went in. ~ Mom’s joys, rewatching videos of her grandson. And the live babycam. She says he’s just like dad the way he stammers and his mouth moves at first and finally words escape his mouth. She loves rewatching that video. . The look on mom’s face when she sees N with his helmet on. Aww, poor thing. ` I have to remember that these moments are precious. Me taking care of her. Even when I’m frustrated that she’s not taking her pills when I tell her to. Even when she’s being high protocol micro-managing me. Even when she’s telling me to do another thing for her as I’m in the middle of doing another task for her. ~ I did an Amazon oracle. Look up Chris Griscom’s other books because I’m in the mood for the books that are being channeled. And in the review of of one of her books, someone said that she’s too biased and that the best book to get it “Adventures Beyond the Body.” So I got that. And then I gor Buhlman’s other book, Secret of the Soul. Reading the reviews of that book led me to Astral Dynamics. And just like that I’m gonna get into astral projecting. ~ I think that subconscious retail therapy is preparing me for mom’s death. So that I can communicate with her when she crosses over. Maybe it’ll make the grieving more bearable. ~ If I want to soften my heart in moments of frustration, as having to play the frustrated and concerned parent, I think about the future, to the moment when she’s gone and it makes me remember, just pour your heart into it, take great care of her. You don’t want to live with even a smidge of regret that you didn’t give it your all. ~ My morning’s begin with a small window to myself. On a good day, when she’s not in pain, I feel at ease. On days when she’s in pain and My stepdad is making pork noodle soup. I’m helping with boiling the macaroni. ~ Yesterday he made claypot catfish. Mom wasn’t a fan. Wednesday, May 28, 2025 10:17pm – Orange County I’m slightly high on the Medterra Max Relief 25mg CBD/2mg THC gummies, the ones that I got for mom, that she’s probably not gonna eat, beca . Mom just miraculously fell asleep without wincing in pain. Maybe spoke to soon, that lasted for like 5 min. . The Bedtime Scaries ~ We all have things we can justify spending money on. For me it’s anything health-related. Organic food, supplements, books. My sister: handbags, shoes, foodie restautants I did a great thing today: I upgraded my stepdad’s youtube to premium and now all of his and my mom’s devices can stream youtubead-free. The best use of $18.99 a month, considering how many hours youtube are on in the background streaming old episodes of Paris By Night. ~ I’m not afraid of death, mom says proudly I’m just afraid of pain, she says, wincing at the thought. ~ here mom is, facing her biggest fear. and I get to move through this pain portal with her crying with her, messaging salve on her, cooking for her, nourishing her taking good care of her and honestly I’m so grateful that i can, i wouldn’t want it any other way mom feels most safe with me. she feels better when i’m here ~ Is there It’s a good thing I’ve gotten off on cleaning. these past few months, i’ve been really enjoying my cleaning meditations, a ritual /discipline that I cultivated while micro-dosing. I now get off on cleaning. The act of looking back at the work you’ve just done, looking at how you made a space better, more pleasing to the eyes ~ I see Ocean Vuong on my IG almost everyday. He’s made it big, he’s on Oprah. He’s someone I admire and look up to. In hopes that one day, I can write and share my story of being a daughter of Vietnamese refugees. We’re telling an interesting slice of the American Dream come true from the perspective of a Diasporic Vietnamese American Artist I hope one day I can be known as a an awesome Vietnamese writer like him. ~ Thoughts I had today while driving: When in doubt, love your way out. The most subrervise thing you can do to the patrarchy is be a loving dominant show that love is the most powerful force the more you love yourself the more you can love others and the world around you. the goal is unconditional love towards yourself and the world around you. That’s a radical act, to love all, even the most hated. ~ I see my peers traveling the globe, meeting up, having decadent parties. meanwhile i’m doing the most unglamorous and most meaningful thing I can be doing, taking care of my mom as she’s going through what might be the worst physical pain she’s ever experienced in her life it doesn’t get more real and human than that ~ it’s ironic that my mom watches her grandson on her phone through the nanit babycam app, watching him blissfully sleep in all the positions that he desires, spread out like a starfish, on his tummy, or on his side. while mom struggles to find one position that doesn’t leave her in throbbing shooting pain down her right leg. Things I’ve bought in the past month: 3 Biomats 6 different types of cold compress The Vitality Chi Swing Machine Back Brace --- ### [write now](https://www.pervette.com/write-now/) **Published:** January 17, 2025 **Author:** Colette Pervette **Content:** ## [1](javascript:void(0))is all stream of consiousness Tuesday, May 27, 2025 10:02pm – Orange County Dear You, It’s been a while. The last time I wrote to you was three Tuesdays ago. My goodness so much has happened. Just 3 weeks ago, my biggest problem was that I can’t find a cute aesthetic cafe with good lighting and latte art. Now.. I’m here taking care of my mom. I’ve been home three times in the past 3 weeks. And with every visit, my mom seems to be doing worse. At first it was sciatic pains at night. Then second visit, it’s chronic pain throughout the day and night, along with chronic diarrhea and flu-like symptoms. My mom said it was the 2nd contrast dye injection in the 2nd MRI that did it to her. I spent a whole week last week, getting her . I was research on heavy metal detox and trying to figure out how to get mom back i I was supposed to fly out to Portland today with M8. But I got the text from my stepdad yesterday, “I think you should come home. Your mom is getting worse, She can’t stop the diarrhea, we need to call the doctor and let them know.” . So I cancelled my flight to Portland and booked a same day flight to Orange County . I then had to cancel my 5:30pm flight and book a 7:30pm flight because I couldn’t get a hold of my sub, who had Cutie (my stuffed panda) with him. There were on a hike in the Marin Headlands. I called every 5 min to see if he would pick up but it would just go straight to voicemail. Tuesday, May 6, 2025 2:44pm I’m noticing a pattern. On Tuesdays, I write. Something about Tuesdays, it feels like a time to kinda hermit yet there’s a restlessness and openness to Tuesdays. If I write, I can escape the ennui of Tuesdays. ~ I need to travel, a change in scenery. I’ve been head down working, creating a class, promoting a class, teaching a class and now I need my break. And let myself wander. It’s such a deeply visceral feeling. Like I’m bored with everything that’s in my 20 mile radius. I have to get beyond what I know and explore. I need to break the routines. I’m ending my micro-dose season. Or just giving myself a month break. I am high on cannabis right now. Just my favorite creative strain, Jack Herer. Drinking a red, blue and white lotus tea. I think the cannabis is helping me not feel so restless. But should I lean into the restlessness and let it compel me to make plans, book flights and take off as soon as class is over. ~ I think switching up writing places around the house (dependent on the sun’s path) is a good way to move through the day. I’m now at my creative corner, a spot that was collecting cobwebs these past few weeks. This should be my mid-tale afternoon spot. I clear out the cobwebs. ~ Mom’s leg aches are getting worse. I want to see her and massage her feet. I haven’t seen mom in 3 months. They still ache even when she’s taking Tramadol. She couldn’t sleep last night because of the pain. I pray to my guiding circle. To my dad, grandma and grandpa’s altar. Praying that when mom goes, it will be quick and painless. May she not experience pain and suffering. I know this is what she prays for too. I haven’t traveled in 3 months. ~ My legs are starting to ache right now. This time 5 years ago, Dad took his life. I wonder if something in the air, resembling that time of year, is making me feel these emotions: restless, something has to change, ennui. I wonder if writing is the antidote to the restlessness, rather than booking a flight and making plans. It’a good idea to examine one own’s intense feelings, can I get at the root of this? Is smoking cannabis just numbing me from the feeling I want to escape? I feel like the cannabis is helping me move the energy. Or I can just be saying that to justify escaping.. The thing is, I still feel it. But it’s instead of fidgeting, I’m actually writing. ~ I’m gonna read and write. And meditate and get back in my body. What if I just try to do my 4 pillars everyday, Reading a zine “As If” right now. Reading: The Make Believers. A whole McSweeney issue comprised of the DVAN (Diasporic Vietnamese Artists Network) writers. I’m absorbed by Doan Bui’s writing. I want to read more of her work, but it’s only in French. I’m crying as I read “Under the Burning Sky” which was a story that took place during the Tet Offensive ~ It’s making me think All of this senseless dying is happening right now in Palestine I’m lucky that my biggest problem right now is ennui. ~ 50 years ago, April 30th. Vietnam lost its country. I can’t believe it’s already been half a century mom said. She was 19 and remembered that day so vividly. She didn’t know it yet, how big of an impact losing one’s country will be. ~ And here I am, born in the US. If it weren’t for the war, I would be in Vietnam still, doing who knows what. But most likely not being a Dominatrix. ~ I want to capture the oral history of my family. Of my Domme community. ~ a daughter of refugee parents of the vietnamese diaspora ~ a domme who teaches others to become dommes ~ What’s life going to be like in the next 4 years? ~ Make art in the chaos. Make the most of this angst. Make the most of it. ~ Sexwork is the most real work. It’s the oldest profession. It will always be here. It will always be the job that is most judged Because talking about sex and money is so taboo But if you can eradicate the stigma of kink and sexwork then you will have a changed culture. a culture that understands, rather than judges, its taboos. ~ To not pass moral judgement on sexwork is an indicator of the culture evolving in consciousness. To see the world in nuance and multitudes of gray. no more black and white thinking. ~ Sub Cultures SubCulture That’s a good name for a sub class or sub community. I’m gonna create sub/culture – a sub/versive community, subs who write ~ i guess through mistressclass i am building an incredibly badass community and i’m also sharing my stories and wisdomme with those who are curious and open to receiving what i have to share. okay, i guess i am practicing magic. ~ So keep on going. Keep on weaving your web. Building your magical network. And see how you far you can go. You have something unique: Your wild story. Your wild wisdomme. Your wild dreams what does it mean to love it all. dreams -> stories -> wisdomme which means wisdom can only come from seeing the story of your life through the lens of your dreams. ~ I need to start this podcast. We’re gonna have such real conversations. No pretense. Just heart. Just soul speaking to soul. ~ Whoa. What if I got super real. Collecting oral histories with my mom. And all the old guard Dommes. What if it’s really about collecting wisdom. But with no ego. Just pure storytelling. Be a good storyteller. I need to tell my story. And I’m gonna do it. In the most authentic way I can. ~ I truly believe that a fantastic story told with all soul is going to spread to those who want to hear it. I trust that when I tell my story, it will be found by those who are seeking it. I trust that my words will find its way. I trust that I can learn how to write and speak poetry. I am going to devote myself to the art of stroytelling. I will use every medium that speaks to me. I will find a way to tell my story that can land in the hearts of those who are open to receive them. I will tell my story, share my thoughts and wisdomme, I will find a way to be clever with the censors. I will find my way to tell my truth. I will be my best friend. I will be a confidant that can create safe spaces for the truth to come out. I will speak with vulnerability and confidence. I am cr ~ Every moment is a miracle. ~ Are we going to experience 1968 in 2025? Is a revolution possible? ~ Prompt: I’m going to create a podcast. It’s a very intimate podcast where we shares stories, dreams and wisdom that’s only collected by going to the edge and playing in the shadows. I’m thinking of calling it pervette tapes. Pervette is also my last name. What are other good names for a podcast, that is very similar to pervette tapes. and uses the word / name Pervette Reply: Love this direction. *Pervette Tapes* already evokes something secretive, archival, and intimate—like found recordings from the underworld of feminine power. Here are some other name ideas that stay in that same realm—moody, seductive, mysterious, and true to your brand voice—using *Pervette* as the anchor: --- ### 🎙 Archive & Audio-Inspired - **The Pervette Tapes** *(classic, cinematic, already strong)* - **Pervette Archives** - **Pervette Recordings** - **Pervette Files** - **From the Pervette Vault** - **Field Notes from Pervette** - **Pervette Dispatches** --- ### 🕯 Storytelling & Shadow Themes - **Pervette in the Shadows** - **Whispers from Pervette** - **Tales from the House of Pervette** - **The Shadow Sessions with Pervette** - **Pervette: Confessions from the Edge** - **The Pervette Method** - **Voices of Pervette** - **Pervette: Seduction & Study** yeah, i think i’ll go with pervette tapes. thanks. ~ maybe my off micro-dosing month of may just be my month of jack herer? ~ So the answer to my ennui. create pervette tapes. tell your story. document everything. from your life to your community and beyond. it’s all about telling the truth like it is. Let’s get really real. ~ Fuck, did I just lose a big chunk of writing and highdeas??? let’s see if i can recollect: sub/cultures sub/versive writing. ~ I am practicing magic right now. ~ you create a bespoke life that only you can live and you find a way to make a living off of being you. ~ dreams-> stories -> wisdom. wisdomme can only be collected by going deep and far out.. for your dreams. wisdomme can only be obtained by following your dreams. the stories that are told by those who follow their dreams are always the more compelling stories. because it’s the story that begins with the fool. and how the fool went from 0 to 1. to the way of the magician. Rule #1 of the Magician – you work with everything you have. Your story is everything. Make art from it. Through movies, poetry, podcast. Do whatever it takes to work with everything you have. work with your story. because we all wanna know how you do it. how you make magick. how you weave your dreams into reality. ~ that’s the wisdomme that sexworkers and dommes are collecting Tuesday, April 29, 2025 12:02pm I’m finally writing here again. It’s a beautiful sunny day, I’m outside on the patio, sitting under the fringe tree. It’s that time of the spring when all the white flowers are blooming. I feel like I’m under a white cloud. The air is still, the bird are chirping. It’s one of those days where I’m keenly aware that I’m living in my dream home. ~ I want to make the most of my last month of micro-dosing. The mushrooms have served me well through the launch of the Shadow Series. I was able to move though so many tasks with positive energy and creative flow. And minimal overwhelm. The Shadow Series is unfolding so magically. It’s everything and beyond what I hoped for. It feels like I’m showing up as my most authentic self and allowing for the class to be a mirror to that. The class holds this raw exciting energy that comes from staying open, allowing the unfolding wisdomme that can only come from the practice to be folded into the teaching. Everything flows from the scene. The teachings come from playing and reflecting on what transpired, what was felt. I love how “Let’s get real” is the theme of our class. ~ Leaning into all the layers of this work. ~ Now I’m ready for the next project: The Femdom Oral History Project The Dom class for men And the sub class. And my book of zines. I feel like I’m really doing what I said I wanted to do this year. Stop talking about what I want to do and just do it. ~ Now in this last month of micro-dosing before I take a break, I want to build my 4 Pillars ritual and cement it into my routine: meditation, reading, writing and exercise. If I can establish that into my morning ritual and not get distracted by my phone, I think I would be very content with myself and my days. Now that the wave of the launch of SS has past, I can now focus on myself. Yesterday I felt the meditative spell come over me. I’m going to ride that this week. No cannabis. I wanna lean into the high of meditation. It’s that altered state of consciousness that is working its magic into my cellular structure. ~ Mom’s legs are aching, she needs to take prescriptive painkillers. I hope it’s just from old age and not being active. My big fear is that her cancer is growing. She’s a creature of habit, who hasn’t changed her bad habits of sleeping late, not exercising and not eating vegetables. You would think stage 4 cancer would compel anyone to change their behavior. What’s that saying, old habits die hard. That expression feels creepy to me right now. I need to spend more time with mom. Collect her oral history. I feel that strong desire to collect stories and tell stories. This McSweeney’s 78 compilation of Vietnamese writers is really inspiring me. I read the collective poem Nha (Home) this morning. I felt the truth tears flow. I felt Dad’s presence. I’m remembering that time, can’t believe it’s already been half a decade since he took his life. I remember him telling me stories of how his cousins and nephews turned their backs on him. I didn’t realize how much that impacted him. When I think of how lonely and isolated he was in the height of the pandemic, my heart still aches. It’s so hard to listen closely to someone who only talks and rarely listens. It was so hard to empathize with him. I think I numbed myself around him in order to let him talk and not drain me. He was so into Trump. I couldn’t listen to him praise the man that I despise so much. I had to tune it out. I’m afraid I tuned everything out. Even the undertones of his loneliness and need for someone to truly listen and be there. I’ve been thinking of and feeling my dad’s presence a lot these past few days. His death anniversary is coming up. I can’t tell if it’s an unconscious association, the April and May weather, the way everything is blooming, the smell of the calm air, the light that comes through in the afternoon, it all reminds me of that painful time. I’m not sure if my relationship with him would ever change if he was still alive. He was definitely neurodivergent, never diagnosed of course. Where we was on the spectrum was difficult to pin. He felt everything, yet couldn’t express it. We all somehow thought that he didn’t feel anything because he never expressed it. What a painful shock it was to know that he was depressed and anxious. That he felt it so much that he couldn’t take it anymore. ~ Why did you do it Dad? my sister asked him. chán đời, he said as the blood poured out of his heart. chán đời = tired of life ~ last week was 4/20 and I partook all week. This week I promise to stay clear. Because I want to feel everything. I want to feel his presence. ~ I can feel some part of myself feeling alive as I write until the tears flow. This is what’s been missing these past few busy weeks. I’ve been teaching, creating a new course from scratch and sessioning a ton. ~ This is what my soul craves right now. ~ I think I might start a new page that’s all about the thoughts that come to me when I’m sessioning, and doing the shadow series. Maybe it’ll be called Letters to a Young Domme. And then there’s the Domme Manifesto ~ I have two themes that I want to explore in my writing. On being a Domme On being Vietnamese. Specifically a Vietnamese daughter of refugee parents of the Vietnam War. Diaspora – I guess that’s what we are. ~ I wonder if there will be some emergent themes that will appear when I parallel write about my life as the Domme the Vietnamese Diaspora Saturday, March 22, 2025 6:08pm Okay, what do we have here .75 mg of shrooms 3 vape puffs of Jack Herer Binaural beats playing in my earbuds Roasted matcha homemade almond milk latte with reishi, lion’s maine, bacopa, moringa, chaga and mucuna pruriens I’m testing out optimal states of consciousness for creativity. A little psyllocibin, a little cannabis and a little caffeine and fuck ton of adaptogens. I’m so glad I’m getting back to writing. It’s like meditation. You have to be singular-minded to write. With absolutely no fucking distractions. Yes I’m talking to you phone. and yeah you too email, texts and Instagram, you’re the fucking worst! Whoa. Where is all this rage coming from? I think I am sick of being distracted. And I’m so annoyed at how often it happens. I remember my hermit years. It was 5 years of no social media. Just meditating and being so fully present with the world. No distractions. Just deep exploration into my subconscious. I did the most growing and evolving in those years. From 2016-2021. Sometimes I get a little nostalgic about my Soft Domme Era. I did so much cocooning, hermiting and monk moding. It was so nourishing, At the time, I couldn’t tell you why I had no desire to connect, be social, in the apps or out in the world. I didn’t decide I would do that one day. I wasn’t at all being “intentional.” I just physically couldn’t open up the apps. My whole body had no desire to pick up the phone and connect with people. I was just listening to my inner child aka my soul and she wanted me to have non-structured days (nothing on the calendar) so that I can go on these “impromptuitions.” It’s a port-manteau we made up for our impromptu excursions guided by our intuition. I would just get in the car and drive and ask her, where should we go? Should I turn left or right here? And she would tell me exactly what to do in every moment. Like right when I’m at the intersection, I feel her answer, go left right here, going south feels good right now. Every single choice was made by feeling into my body and seeing if I can see myself going in that direction in my mind’s eye.. And sometimes these impromptuitions would lead me to places and things that I saw in my dream the night before. Ahem. If that’s not making the Subconscious Conscious then I don’t know what is. And as we know, Alchemy is all about making the subconscious conscious and vice versa. If I really think about, I was practicing magic in those years. I was letting my soul guide me by learning how to get lost and fell my way back to myself. I was honing my intuition as well as the clarity of my visions, like what all good magicians ought to do. Anyways ~ Practice magic. Practice believing in magic. Practice believing. ~ Sidenote: I just took another hit of Jack Herer (from a fresh joint, not the vape this time), made some holybasil, rose, cinnamom tea (my own special blend) And lit the Creativity incense (made by the fine witches of Sword & Rose) and shuffled my Thoth Tarot deck. And guess what I pulled when I asked, please show me what to look for: The Sword of Swords, Peace. And then I asked Thoth, what do I need to help me find that? I pulled “The Hermit” ~ Okay, if I read this correctly, I think the deck is telling me that If I’m thinking about my Hermit Years and waxing nostalgic about it I should create space every day in my life to come back to that place. . I used to mediate for an hour every morning (yes I’m kinda bragging). And at the end of every hour of sitting, my mind was in the most blissful alpha wave state. Out of all the altered states of consciousness that I’ve ever experienced, that one is my favorite. Why? Because it’s a distinct feeling tone: deep equanimity and bliss. And that feeling tone that for me is THE BEST feeling in the world. And I think it can only be achieved through meditation. Imagine that in every present moment, you are aware of its beauty, to the point that it can move you to tears. Sovering sombering bliss. Experiencing the world through a nonduailty lens. It’s ineffable. And that’s why words aren’t working with me to describe the infinite magnitude of this feeling. Of oneness. That’s a feeling I wish every human can feel. And I think that if there was ever a day when we can all feel that, all wars would end, and there would be true peace in the world. . If I had to talk people into meditation, I would say this: Meditation is the most important and powerful practice you can cultivate in your lifetime. It will give you superpowers. It will heal you. It will transform you. It will change your vibration. You will be forever changed in the best and for the highest good of all way. Shit. I think I just talked myself back into my old meditation practice. Can I really do it? Now that I’m in my Creatrix Era? Where it’s go go go and let’s get shit done. I gotta find my balance with it all. That’s the only way my inner Creatrix can create sustainably. Don’t get burned out. Again. ~ Also meditation is the best practice in preparing yourself for every transition in your life. Through a deep meditation practice, you can find ease in all moments, even moments of deep loss and painful changes. As that is what life is. A sequence of changes, some more painful than others. If I hadn’t cultivated my practice I don’t think I would’ve been able to handle my dad’s (unexpected) suicide with as much flow as I did. I saw every moment of deep sadness and pain, of grieving as divine and beautiful, it hurt so much because we loved each other so much. And that’s a beautiful thing. . Okay shifting gears, i want to recollect what I did in those 5 years of hermitting. I took classes, in wordpress, filmmaking, photography, aerial silks/hoops, flying trapeze, writing, shamansim, singing I did a lot of plant medicine. I went to vipassanna retreats I had my impromptuition days I traveled a lot I had my “shaman” live with me for 8 months (hmm). I became obsessed with a vision of this website, a weird website that had a black screen and pink letters getting typed out. It was layered and had many links/hypertexts on every page so that you kept going down this labyrinthine rabbithole. It felt like an intimate or erotic choose your own adventure. It took me 2 years of (searching for the right web person who can teach me how) to create it from scratch. I wrote stream of consciousness (like what I’m doing right now in on this page) daily. I contemplated and created my own unique philosophy and spiritual approach to bdsm. I was on a spiritual journey. I went inward. Healed my inner child’s wounds. Learned how to be at peace with my avoidant partner in our open relationship. I got really still. I overcame my fear of public speaking and started teaching about bdsm and power at Breakup Bootcamp I co-created Power Play, a Femdom Bootcamp. I also tapped all of my savings. I bought back my time. It was so worth it. So that was the ark. Did some deep work on myself, using all the tools, medicine and practices that I can get my hands on. I went still, contemplated, uncovered insights, and began to teach the wisdomme that I gathered from my spiritual journey inside and outside the dungeon. . If it weren’t for those years of going inward, doing the work on self, and uncovering the insights along the way, I don’t think I would be able to teach anyone how to find their inner power and channel their inner Domme. Sometimes I wonder, was that a bad idea to go on such a long social media break? Who does that? Did I hurt my brand by not playing the game of building my following? Yes that’s my ego questioning things. During those monk mode years, I was experiencing something really uncomfortable: ego dissolution. What comes after that is the soul’s expression. And maybe that’s why I was so obsessed with creating Pervette. My soul needed a place of my own that it can pour its heart into (without getting censored, shadowbanned or deleted). It needed to have a non-linear and dendritic structure. I knew that what I yearn to express could never fully express itself on a platform or even a sqaurespace website, where everything was templatized or readymade. I had to create a space of my own with its intuitive, messy, neurodivergent structure. Every piece of this strange space, down to the evolving pages, the “all is a work in progress” ethos was a conscious choice made by my soul’s desire.[2](javascript:void(0))Sidenote: I wrote and created over 400 pages on this website, it didn’t make sense to a lot of people (because it was a very anti-website website , the UX is filled with head-scratching friction and confusion. It was made for you to get lost in). But then it got pillaged by trolls and my writing got distorted into a false narrative that I was a sex cult leader (note to all writers: do not write about kink, sexwork, and polyamory in stream of consciousness. All your words will be decontextualized, twisted into extreme falsehood and used against you) and I had to delete hundreds of pages of writing. How can we communicate as authentically as we can? With no distortion or influence of the social media structures out there. ~~ Okay I’m reflecting on all the above. in my current situation, I’m currently back on the gram and other social media and can’t stand this [fucked up game we’re playing on there](https://www.pervette.com/dont-get-deleted/ "Don’t get deleted") every time my art on ig gets deleted. it makes me want to go back to here. To pervette, to pour my soul into it. it’s as if i built this website 8 years so that when it came to a point where i can’t express myself on social media anymore because our freedom of speech is taken away from us (which is right now in our fascist oligarchy dictatorship) i will have a place to retreat to. and those who are curious enough to follow and find me here, like you, will get to get intimate with me and my soul expression. ~ Awww..it’s all making sense now. I’m frustrated with playing the fucked up game of social media. I am now returning here to here to create. And hopefully this space will speak to your soul. Not your ego. . Most of social media is a game of ego. Thanks for reading this. It was a long ramble that helped me make sense of why I’m back here writing to you again. Hopefully this practice will continue. . In other news, I created [a new page](https://www.pervette.com/pervette-zines/ "Zines") that will contain all my un-finished and unpolished thoughts on different topics. Things that I’ve been thinking a lot about. [Like how to not deleted on IG](https://www.pervette.com/dont-get-deleted/ "Don’t get deleted") What to do if [you do get deleted](https://www.pervette.com/you-got-deleted/ "You got deleted"). And [why is everything on this website so raw? ](https://www.pervette.com/whats-going-on-write-now/ "what’s going on write now") ~ And of course what’s taking up a ton of my bandwidth is this [brainchild of mine of 2 years](https://www.pervette.com/seeds-of-shadow-series/ "Seeds of Shadow Series"), it’s finally getting birthed next month.. [The Shadow Series](https://www.pervette.com/shadow-series/ "Shadow Series") ~ I’m also working on a video project this week.. Lots to do. I guess I gotta cross some things off my to-do list now.. ~ – Feb something 2025 Soulmates exist and you’ll know that they do the moment you are in touch with your soul and sub-consious. And you learn how to communicate from your soul, not your ego. When you see the world beyond the material and feel the spiritual realm and know it’s all connected. The people who come into your life and change you and your path are your soulmates. I didn’t believe in soulmates or know anything about the spiritual world until 2014. The year when I fell in love with my twin flame, and I was outed by my sister to my mom. And my whole life changed. It all sounds so cliche. I was seeing 11:11 everywhere. not just on clocks twice a day, but addresses, odometers, license plates, it kept on appearing in an improbably way. When things like that happen, you take note. Almost every Mistress in MistressClass has a synchronicity story that led them to the class. They too couldn’t ignore the signs. I do think magic attracts magic. Witches attract witches. And the time is now for us to come together. Combine our powers, amplify our voices, and weave our stories into the wildest story that we can tell. It’s crazier and more interesting when the story is woven together. Each one of us has an wild story to tell, and it got more epic the moment we chose the path that led us to each other. But that path was also the path that brought us closer to living our dream. So it’s not just my dream or your dream, it’s our collective dream coming true. We’re all finding each other, working together and playing for our dream. MistressClass is my favorite magic trick. The dark webpage in my weird website that somehow spoke to your soul. Aww now I remember. I created Pervette as a way to let my soul create and communicate. It was a very clear voice and vision. My soul cannot be contained and cannot communicate in a template created by squarespace, instagram, tiktok etc. Those platforms and structures are created to distract you. Appeal to your ego and make you forget why you are. I don’t want you to keep scrolling on to the next. I don’t want the algorithm to juxtapose me next to a newsbite, ragebait, or thirsttrap. I want your undivided attention. I want a real moment. Where you can feel me and go deeper with me. ~ What if I try to commit to writing here daily. It feels so good to write stream of consciousness. It’s very Anais Nin to just write in my diary and not get too hung up on “my book.” I don’t have it in me to write a book the normal way. I actually don’t have it in me to do anything normal or do whatever everyone else is doing. It has to be me. It has to be unique. Anything else just feels wrong. So normal feels wrong. Different feels right. ~ I have so much shit to do, like finish the[ Shadow Series](https://www.pervette.com/shadow-series/ "Shadow Series") page, create a FAQ, and script out something to shoot for tomorrow. But this feels good. Why do I love writing and hitting publish without looking back and editing? It’s raw. It’s intimate. It’s “different.” This is not polished. This is not meant to sell you on anything. This is not topical. This is writing for writing sake. This is writing for the pure joy of writing out what’s in my head. Maybe it’s how my soul can truly communicate. With no objective. Just flow. I’m prolly feeling the micro-dose or something. . Oh wait, the micro-dosing. I forgot to add. Is great for rewiring.. And crating new neuropathways, new grooves, patterns, and practices. What if I intentionally allow for the micro-dosing to help me get into my groove of meditating, writing, making art everyday? Hmm..alright let’s go. . Okay, I gotta stop. Gonna eat some soup and work on that FAQ. Oh wait, let me tell you how excited I am about the shadow series. It’s gonna get so raw, real, edgy. Pure What’s happening Saturday, March 8, 2025 7:37pm Week 2 of micro-dosing on these organic mushroom gummies and I have to say, it’s a game-changer. I don’t think I’ve properly micro-dosed until now. I was sloppily mezo-dosing at .25 grams years ago. When really the perfect microdose for me is .05grams (50 mg). That’s tiny and imperceptible, the way it should be. I’ve been microdosing every other day and I feel focused, energized and not overwhelmed by my giant to do list. I feel like I can do it all, but with a keen awareness of what I can reasonably do in a day. It’s like “natural adderall” but with a positive boost. And I’ve been naturally getting back into my meditation practice. Around sunset, I feel my body wanting to do nothing but sit still. And when I do sit, I feel pulled into the meditative space. Now if I can just write daily and make art, I’ll be good. God I have so many creative projects I wanna do. At least I launched [The Shadow Series. ](https://www.pervette.com/shadow-series/ "Shadow Series") It’s been [a long time coming.](https://www.pervette.com/seeds-of-shadow-series/ "Seeds of Shadow Series") I’m actually not even done with the landing page and I have 24 Mistresses who already signed up. I also launched MistressClass Alumni Discord 2 weeks ago, bringing all 7 cohorts together in one space. These were all ideas I’ve been noodling on for some time in my head, and I finally put it out there. Going from vision to form. 0 to 1. It’s a good feeling. Now for my next act. Putting my voice out there. Telling my story. I want to pour love into Pervette. Pervette is the name of my transmedia website project. Somehow (thanks to Amy) it became my last name. I just know it’s smart to devote more of my energy into a space that can’t be taken away from me. And it’s a place that I created from scratch. No templates, boxes, just raw ADHD creativity. Which means, starting a new page, thought, path, and then abandoning it for another page/project. Thursday, Feb 2025, 9:51pm Whoa. I skipped a whole month of writing here. Things got busy. My partner and I went to Maui and we got Mauied. As in we shared our vows and sacred wishes with each other at 9:30am on Jan 24th, which according to my Vedic astrologer is the right day and time to get married. But then later on that day, I realized the astrologer meant 9:30am PST Calfornia. We had our spiritual union at 9:30am Hawaii time when we should’ve done it at 7:30am. Oh well. It feels like a nice start. A small intimate marriage. A commitment to each other and the path we’re creating together. And some day we’ll have a wedding with friends and family invited. And make it official, legally and all that. Although all of that doesn’t feel necessary right now. Part of the reason I booked a trip to Maui was because my friends told me about this really special Airbnb where the hosts are this incredible couple who make hospitality a spiritual practice. I had to experience that. The moment I hugged R our host, I almost teared up. Her energy was so warm. They set up our place with balloons, champagne, cake, and a congratulations banner. It turns out K the husband was good friends with Ram Dass. They went way back. Like Harvard days. Before Ram Dass was even Ram Dass. Maui summed up in a few words: Road to Hana, Mama’s Fish House, Rainbow eucalyptus, fire remnants of Lahaina, mint chip ice cream, fish and chips, beach everyday, cruising in our snazzy yellow Jeep, microclimates, sun and rain almost every day, audio guided tours on our drives, bang bang dinners (2 restaurant outings in one night). . Then right after Maui, the MistressClass graduation party happened. It was amazing. I got to connect with so many Mistresses. My goal every graduation party is to be fully present and drop in with as many Mistresses as I can in one night. I think I did a decent job. We all felt it, the chocolate pussies, the wavies. Around 10pm I had to get out of my latex dress, and wore a red AP nightie and my Thinx period panties as I did the certificate ceremony. I was very comfortable. The shares and activation of Domme names were so potent. We were all weaving our stories and wisdomme and magic together. And ofc I had to my unhinged primal scream. It was well received. I stayed up till 5am. The last few Mistresses left at 6am. Another magical night in the books. The next day there were all these bruises on my knees. 2 days after, my friends and I did a creative dose. Our house is the perfect pad for tripping and exploring in the woods, watching the sunset, and dreaming into the future. We changed the lighting and music to fit our medieval dinner. And then we had a Wong Kar Wai desert vibe. Day after that, N and I had a creative breakthrough. Video changes the texture of conversation. My podcast will actually be done over facetime audio. A phone call is such an intimate vibe. Pervette Tapes. . Nothing beats the feeling of steamcleaning everything and having the house professionally cleaned after the party. I reset my creative corner. And it’s now one of the warmest corners of the house. . I’m so grateful for this magical house. I wake up everyday excited to go upstairs and write on the southside deck, then to the eastside deck at noon, and then to the creative corner at 3pm. I’m chasing the sun in all the corners of the house. . My sister is back to normal. That scary period of postpartum depression is behind us now. She’s sleeping and connecting with her baby. I’m so glad I spent those 3 intense weeks by her side, taking care of her, getting her the right meds. . My mom’s cancer is stable, not growing. Things there are normal too. I have this really special time, where I don’t have to take care of family and put out fires. I can focus on my creative projects. It’s time to do it all. Before this window closes. Monday, Jan 20th 2025 10:25am I did it. I meditated this morning. I read “The Finding of the Third Eye.” And now I’m writing. I feel so much better starting my day with 3 of my 4 pillars already completed. My 4 pillars of a perfect day: meditating, reading, writing, and exercising I just need to do 50 pushups and I’m good. My meditation inspired some ideas for my writing. I think I’m gonna try again to make pervette a choose your own adventure (again). I saw pieces of my story unfolding in writing. . “Make the most of it” David Lynch’s death inspires me to take up his persistent advice: meditate daily and go deeper. Catch the big fish. Allow my practice to fuel my creativity. LA Fires inspire me to let go of things and the unconscious desire to accumulate. All of everything I own can be gone in a day. I want to minimize the pain of my attachments by getting ahead of the curve. Let go now. Build the nest egg. Imagine all the money I would save if I stopped buying shit. I want to organize my house, get rid of things, and feel the lightness of creating more space. It’s all connected. I want more space, time and energy. I am going to declutter both my mind and my home. No more mindless accumulation of physical things. Marie Kondo the house. No more mindless scrolling and accumulating mental clutter. Minimize social media to just intentional creating, sharing and connecting. Little t’s inauguration inspires me to keep on cultivating meaningful relationship and build a tightknit community that can support each other through the shitshow we’re about to witness and experience. . My sister hates this current version of herself who has no energy to work, go out or even reply to people. She’s feeling the deep remorse of all the things that she bought and is now taking up space all the space in her apartment. I tell her it’s actually a good thing what’s happening. She’s doing the opposite of what she’s always done. She is slowing down. Doing nothing but just taking care of herself. She is not buying another thing. She wants to give away her things. This is all good, I tell her. It’s hard for her to believe that. In her last chapter, she valued her workaholism and her fancy dinners and handbags. Her life has been turn upside down by the baby. I think her values are getting scrambled and reevaluated. I think she’s reckoning with the unsustainability of her lifestyle and indulgent behaviors. I think she’s receiving a megadose of truth and reality. It’s painful. But it will push her to grow. I’m hopeful that she will be a responsible mom and know to plan for her future as well as her baby’s. . Meanwhile, I’m taking notes. If I’m to start a fire family. I need to be prepared. NGL watching my sister navigate postpartum depressions really inspires me to make a fuck ton of money and get a surrogate. Am I denying myself the miracle of childbirth? But who’s gonna take care of my mom if anything happens. I want to to be able to travel, fly on a plane, take my mom to the Dr, take care of her, be fast and nimble. How can I do that if I’m pregnant or dealing with postpartum depression. How come most moms don’t talk about the downside of motherhood. How fucking dark it is. How common it is to have dark thoughts, like suicide and harming your baby? 1 in 5 moms experience this. Are we to just let go, give this motherhood thing a try, play russian roulette and see if we’re the unlucky one who has to bite the metaphorical bullet? Yes motherhood is experiencing unconditional love and the wildest initiation into your divine feminine. But let’s be honest. Motherhood is also self-sacrifice and suffering. But suffering tends to lead to self-realization and discovering new powers. All I’m saying is that it’s everything. The good, the bad, the ugly. Right now my sister feels bad and ugly. And I have to keep on reminding her, it’s all good, even the bad and ugly. Geez. What a mindfuck. Goals: make enough money to afford a surrogate and full time nanny. . I think I’m gonna avoid watching little t’s inauguration today. Time to do 50 pushups. Clean house, pack, take my sister grocery shopping. . Sunday, Jan 19th, 2025 11:45am We did it. We threw a party and so many Dommes and folx came out. Many drove from afar and even flew in. We had our Girl Gang Friday reunion. Grey and I pulled it off. Our speech was improvised and heartfelt. We also surprised Natasha and m by wishing them a happy birthday with cakes and all. Ofc I gave m a spanking, 55 strokes for how he old was turning. The photos turned out amazing thanks to A. It was so nice reconnecting with so many old guard Dommes and friends. It was a beautiful multi-generational Domme gathering. And we couldn’t be more pleased with how it turned out. . In other news, it’s Sunday and folks in Gaza are cheering as the ceasefire is in effect. It’s such a breath of fresh air to see their happy faces, in spite of the massive death and destruction that they experienced for over a year. Those who are cheering made it out alive. Not all are in one piece. LA fires are getting more contained. But the Santa Ana winds are going to pick up again We will rebuild, says the survivor from Gaza to LA. Tiktok was banned and then restored. I’m not on there so I have stake in the game. . I made the mistake of checking my phone and the news this morning. I didn’t wait till after my morning pages and writing here. I feel like every morning is a fresh start on how you want to train your brain. It’s hard to get into a creative mode when you start scrolling in the morning. I feel like I have nothing to say other than to rehash to you the news. I’m gonna start cleaning the house. Clearing my space always clears my head It’s grey out. Usually the day after a party feels hazy and slow. You usually get a free pass to do nothing. But today that’s not the case We have to reset the dungeon later and then I have a session. . How do I feel? Low energy. But positive. . 3:47pm Cleaning was exactly what I needed to do. I woke up this knowing with a clear message, clean the house and you’ll feel better. I put away all the lights and cameras that’s been up and scattered in the sun room. Tidied up the moon room and kitchen. I also thought of something. Instead of just sharing the news, I’m gonna tell you what these news/events makes me want to do. . All this social media chaos makes me want to pour more time into pervette. The only thing that’s solid and can’t be taken away from me by the oligarch’s robots and whims. It also makes me want to build my business and brand so big that it doesn’t need social media to exist. That’s a big goal. . The fires makes me not to want buy another non-essential thing ever again. I don’t want any more stuff. I just want to build my nest egg, in case catastrophe, natural disasters, and manmade disasters strike. Which as we know is just a matter of time. . All the wars, cruelty and harm inflicted on innocent lives makes me want to meditate longer, create a sangha, and practice metta. . Make everything (the good and the bad) push you to grow and create positive change. EOD: I had a novel session today. Literally. My sub and I had dinner and read The Story of O, picking the titalating passages, reading them aloud. Did you know there was a sadistic character in the The Story of O named Colette? I love it when sessions deviate from the usual in such a wholesome way. Saturday, Jan 18th 2025, 10:20am It’s a busy day. We’re throwing a party at the dungeon. Miss Grey and I are celebrating our 15th year anniversary of owning Valhalla Studios. I can’t believe it’s already been 15 years since we took over the playspace from Mistress Lucinda and continued in the legacy of making it a home and playground for so many Bay Area Pro Dommes. It’s been passed down by three generations of Pro Dommes, with Simone Kross being the original founder in 2003. Wow. I can’t believe we did it. We kept it open (though the pandemic!) and added more and more love and kinky toys, furniture and equipment to it. It’s kinda crazy how this is our first party ever that we’ve thrown since we owned the space. There’s lots to do to set up for the soiree tonight. I also have to tend to things for my mom’s cancer treatment and check in with my sister. She’s been having more sleepless nights. I’m still helping her find the right therapist. I don’t know why I feel so compelled to write and share what feels like my diary in a public space. Other than it feels good to be vulnerable. To write and share unedited thoughts to me is a deeply vulnerable act. For someone who is a perfectionist, this is my practice of letting go. I did it for years here until all my words got twisted and used against me to assassinate my character. My life doesn’t have any more drama that the trolls would want. It’s boring now relative to the “sex cult leader” era. For one, I’m not poly anymore.[3](javascript:void(0))If you didn’t know already: poly=drama, and trolls love drama I’m actually enjoying this new novel thing called “monogamy.” And tbh, I kinda love it a lot. For the record, I was never a sex cult leader. I was and still am just creating a sex-y cult-ure where kink, sexwork and radical sexual self-expression is destigmatized and normalized. That’s all. . I started writing and sharing in this weird intimate way so I can find my authentic voice through writing. As someone who struggles with thinking their writing is shit, this practice really helped me get loose and not care too much that I’m no Miranda July or Maggie Nelson, or even Karley Sciortino. My writing isn’t clever or lolz. Of course I wish was.[4](javascript:void(0))I mean I did try to be funny in the past, it didn’t go so well. Note to self: cracking ageplay jokes will get you in trouble But for now I’ll just share whatever comes to mind. And enjoy the feeling of not giving a fuck. . If I had to think about who inspires me to overshare like this, it’s Sophie Calle. Also the book Reality Hunger, by David Shields. And of course, Finite and Infinite Games by James Carse. . But honestly it just feels good to write stream of consciousness. To not write topically about one thing like an article, and try to sound like I’m an expert on something. I’m just sharing what I think and how I feel. and it’s my hope that what I share will resonate with those who are open to seeing the world through my lens. . To write and share again is to trust my vulnerability . My writer friend said to me something that stuck, if people don’t think you’re a monster from your writing, than you’re not writing honestly enough. . I’m gonna be honest here. I’m gonna write about things that matter to me. I’m navigating life in my 40’s.. as a queer Vietnamese-American sexworker / educatrix who’s building an army of Dommes to create positive change in the world . I honestly think more Dommes (women & femmes in their power) is the antidote to this dystopian patriarchal era that we’re in. . Okay time to go set up a party and celebrate our Dungeonversary! Friday, Jan 17th, 2025 3:51pm I asked the question in my IG story yesterday “how are you feeling about 2025?” I’m sharing some of the answers here, placing asterisks next to the thoughts and feelings that echo my own: \*Concerned, \*unsure, \*exhausted, \*scared \*busy, lost, lethargic and directionless \*Uncertain yet optimistic Well, I had to evacuate my home and crack my ribs..so pretty great \*overwhelmed. what does one do when they are starting at square one again? \*hopeful for new beginnings in playfulness and trust \*Rebirth by fire so far \*Life is what you make of it, form the things you can control.. the rest you adapt to 2025 can eat a bag of dicks (disrespect intended) \*My only goal is to be a source of help and joy in spite of the nightmare \*Despite hard times looming I’m focused on how I can support my community and and spread joy \*Love love love \*ready for deep deep love . For myself: I had many visions at the end of 2024 for what 2025 can be. A year of making art, birthing new creations. A year of putting my voice out there. A year of putting down roots and forging a tighter community. Many things has happened to me, my family and the world around me in just the past few weeks that’s left me exhausted. But I haven’t given up hope. I have faith in my visions. I trust that everything is happening to push me forward. It feels like the universe is lighting a fire to make sure I don’t get comfortable or lazy. We have to move fast. Or at least be more disciplined and let our dreams dom us. More than ever, our world needs our big dreams of a brighter future to come to light. 9:20am it feels good to write and share my unedited thoughts and feelings and just hit publish[5](javascript:void(0))i know this is a dangerous act. you would think I learned from my past. don’t worry, I have. i secretly think we’re all hungry for something that’s raw, real and intimate at least i can feel my fatigue for the all the polished products and brands that are out there. almost everything is a projection. i have this intuition that if i share more of my messy, nonlinear process, i would feel more energized to create at the very least, i’m writing . these past few weeks, we were putting out fires, i was emotionally exhausted. today i feel a focused creative energy that’s coming through. i’m finally fleshing out [my next offering..](https://www.pervette.com/mistressclass-shadow-series/ "MistressClass Shadow Series") Thursday Jan 16, 2025 9:25pm Temperature check: The Santa Ana winds have died down and the fires in LA are getting contained. David Lynch passed away. We’ve reached a ceasefire deal in Gaza. I’m trying not to hold my breath…for the inauguration. Will they do as they say and stop this genocide by Sunday? When will there be rain in SoCal? The Palisades and Altadena look like a war zone, say the reporters at ground zero. I‘m following the stories of those I know who have lost everything in the fire. I think I’ve seen too many reels of people and innocent children mutilated by bombs. I’ve scrolled until my nervous system was shot. I can’t continue reading Parable of the Sower. Octavia Butler is too on the money. . I started to put a time limit on my phone. You can do that though the iphone settings. My phone shuts down at 9pm. I can’t be on social media that much anymore. I want to maximize time with my mom. As we keep watch on her metastasized cancer. I’m trying to support my sister, who’s life is turned upside down by postpartum depression. I’m also trying to carve time daily for the things that nourish me: nature, long walks, meditation, reading and writing. I know the antidote to despair and destruction is art and community. . There’s a spidey sense that we have more to lose in the next 4 years than the last time t was in power. The American oligarchs are aligning with him and becoming more brazen. But yet I have more hope than I did back then. Maybe because I’ve witnessed my own change in these past 9 years. And know from experience that profound transformations within are possible and these changes create ripples out into the world around us. Maybe because I’ve created deep connections and powerful communities that support each other through the tower card moments of our lives (i.e., MistressClass, my circle of friends). Maybe because I can see my path and purpose more clearly than I did back then. And I see everything that’s happening is pushing me to stay focus on my he(art)work. I can see that my hard work is [creating positive change](https://www.pervette.com/mistressclass-testimonials/ "MistressClass Testimonials"). . This year is the year that I put my voice out there. I’ll start in here. In this space that I’m carving right now. And work my way out. The more censored our identities and work becomes on all the platforms, the more we have to create our own space to play in. It’s been years since I’ve built rabbitholes on this site[6](javascript:void(0))The last time I created a labyrinth in here, the trolls had a heyday digging for dirt. It’s been almost 3 years since I stripped everything down in pervette to the bare bones. I feel ready to create a new layers and paths for you to find and see how I move through this evolving space and uncertain time. And I hope that the deeper we go, the more open you’ll be to growing and changing with me. If you feel compelled to share anything with me, here is the space.. Your name Your email Subject Your message you want more clues and news in your inbox to keep going down this rabbithole.. Δ --- ### [Who is Colette Pervette](https://www.pervette.com/who-is-colette-pervette/) **Published:** August 15, 2017 **Author:** Colette Pervette **Content:** #### Who is Colette Pervette? Who am I? I’m Colette. You might know me as a [professional Dominatrix](http://www.dominacolette.com). I’ve been exploring the art of BDSM professionally for two decades. In my journey as a Domme, I spent the first decade of my career going deep into the practice of BDSM. Then I spent the last decade going inward and contemplating a theory behind the practice of BDSM and have since developed an alchemical philosophy and spiritual approach to the art of kink that I share through my work. As an Educatrix, I teach the art of FemDom and BDSM. I have taught and guided over a thousand women and femmes to become the Dominatrix of their vision. I hold a PhD in Education from UC Berkeley, where my research focuses on misconceptions and conceptual change. Through my teaching and writing, I dispel misconceptions about kink, sexwork, and alternative sexuality. I lead online courses, [MistressClass](https://www.pervette.com/mistressclass/ "Mistressclass") & [The Shadow Series](https://www.pervette.com/shadow-series/) where I teach aspiring Dommes a he(art)tistic approach to Female Domination. I teach folx [how to heal from heartbreak](https://renewbreakupbootcamp.com/) and [channel their inner dominatrix](https://renewpowerplay.com/) at weekend-long in-person retreats and bootcamps. My soul work is to help womxn [find their voice and bring back the power of the Feminine](https://www.pervette.com/mistressclass-testimonials/ "MistressClass Testimonials"). I am a multidimensional travel guide. As a Shamanatrix, I guide seekers through a healing and psychospiritual journey working with ritual and the potent medicine of the earth. I am a Dom(me) mentor. I work with the potent force of our wildest dreams to create life changes and soul transformations. I mentor aspiring Mistresses to become the most powerful versions of themselves through skill training and personal growth coaching. I am a writer and Humanatrix. I believe what makes us human is our ability to tell stories, to share ourselves and to connect with others through our most intimate desires, thoughts and feelings. In my writing, I play with elements of kink, fantasy, myth, and magic to help seekers navigate everyday life with more power and pleasure. I guide writers to mine their personal experiences for creative expression in [Writing in Bed](https://www.writinginbed.club/). I am a Creatrix. A lebenskunstler[1](javascript:void(0))the German word for “life artist” at heart, I love making everything my art. From the alternate realities I co-create in scene to designing naughty goods and even this website, I make art as a way to materialize my vision of a utopian future where spirituality and sexuality merge to uncover one’s truth and beauty. My art delves into the realm of dreams, sex, magic and power. It aims to inspire curiosity and play. [I sometimes appear in press and on podcasts, where I talk about kink, power and play. ](https://www.pervette.com/colette-media/ "Colette Media") I enjoy[ making new connections](https://www.pervette.com/connect/), reading, sipping tea, being in nature and taking long breaks from social media. I am currently working on a book. --- ### [To the path](https://www.pervette.com/to-the-path/) **Published:** March 4, 2021 **Author:** Colette Pervette **Content:** #### I’m excited that you want to play #### Because I’m here to work and play with your dreams #### And help you make them come true.. #### I’m excited that you want to play #### Because I’m here to work and play with your dreams #### And help you make them come true.. #### Did you know that the path [to your power](https://www.pervette.com/mistressclass/) #### and the path to #### realizing your wildest dreams #### are one and the same? #### Because the path to your dream #### is a challenging one #### it’s the path that pushes you #### to your limits #### and leads you to new doors #### and perceptions #### of how limitless you can be #### when you let go #### of what you think and know #### This is a path one can’t go alone #### and that’s why I’m here #### to guide you through the deeper #### realms of your unconscious #### and take you on an intimate adventure #### where you meet the most powerful #### and fullest version of yourself #### This is a path one can’t go alone #### and that’s why I’m here #### to guide you through the deeper #### realms of your unconscious #### and take you on an intimate adventure #### where you meet the most powerful #### and fullest version of yourself #### If you want me to show you a way you just have to say yes #### yes to dreaming #### and playing #### like a child #### yes to your yearning #### to cross into the unknown [yes to the journey of realizing your innermost desire](https://www.pervette.com/work-and-play-with-colette/ "Work and Play with Colette") [As your dreamweaver and guide](https://www.pervette.com/who-is-colette-pervette/ "Who is Colette Pervette") #### I’m going to use everything I got #### my 20 years as a professional dominatrix #### my phd in human development and education #### my life experience of realizing my wildest dreams #### my unlimited creativity, imagination and he(art) #### to make this an erotic and enlightening #### journey unlike any other #### If you’re ready #### just tell me [you want to dream wildly](https://www.pervette.com/submit-your-dream/ "Submit your dream") #### and you trust me #### [to take you there](https://www.pervette.com/playground/ "Playground") #### If you’re ready #### just tell me [you want to dream wildly](https://www.pervette.com/submit-your-dream/ "Submit your dream") #### and you trust me [to take you there](https://www.pervette.com/playground/ "Playground") --- ### [Letters to a Young Domme](https://www.pervette.com/letters-to-a-young-domme/) **Published:** April 29, 2025 **Author:** Colette Pervette **Content:** ### Letters to a Young Domme Dear Domina, I’m gonna start putting into words and sharing with you what I think are important things to consider as you find your way as a Domme. It’s gonna be jumbled thoughts, or loose tidbits, randomly organized, most likely to be edited at some point, but for now it’s here, raw and as real as I can be. ~ When you choose to become a Domme.. You choose to learn the art of magic and alchemy. You learn how to make something out of nothing. You learn how to weave dreams and fantasies into reality. To go from 0[1](javascript:void(0))nothing but airy dreams to 1[2](javascript:void(0))something concrete is pure magic. ~ This world is not for everyone. That’s why it lives on the edges and in the shadows. And it can only found by seekers those who are curious enough to go deeper, and those who are brave enough to thin the veil and dare to see it all. ~ The only way to see it all is to stay curious and open to new perspectives and realities which can only be found when you embrace the paradox by holding both dualities can you transcend it therefore you cannot judge that this is right or wrong good or bad, normal or crazy masculine or feminine there is no black or white thinking but infinite[3](javascript:void(0))(not just 50) shades of grey ~ To understand kink, you have to understand its context. Kink exists in the shadows of society. All of our fetishes comes from the taboo. The taboo is what society rejects. In kink we give voice and space to the rejected parts of ourselves. ~ This world is subversive. There is no running away from or running towards You can’t enter this realm and wish to go deep If --- ### [Domme Manifesto](https://www.pervette.com/domme-manifesto/) **Published:** April 29, 2025 **Author:** Colette Pervette **Content:** ## **Domme Manifesto** She is the collector of wisdomme that can only be found by playing on the edge and in the shadows The Domme is the one who can say, Everyday I move closer To being able to say I’ve seen it all. Nothing is too much You can come to me With your innermost desires and darkest shadows I can remove its stigma and shame And eradicate shame Because nothing is too strange An The Mistress is the Magician. A Magician is someone who knows how to make something out of nothing. They know how to move from 0[1](javascript:void(0))The Fool to 1[2](javascript:void(0))The Magician The Mistress takes the airy visions and fantasies and weaves them into concrete reality. She knows the Principles of Power. Power is Truth. Your relationship --- ### [Zines](https://www.pervette.com/pervette-zines/) **Published:** March 17, 2025 **Author:** Colette Pervette **Content:** [![](https://www.pervette.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/WB3-BlueBed-P1022811-scaled-e1743554976112.jpeg)](https://www.pervette.com/all-a-work-in-progress/) April 2, 2025 ### [all a work in progress](https://www.pervette.com/all-a-work-in-progress/) [![](https://www.pervette.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/rainbowbookcase-scaled.jpg)](https://www.pervette.com/finding-buddhism-in-bdsm/) March 26, 2025 ### [finding buddhism in bdsm](https://www.pervette.com/finding-buddhism-in-bdsm/) [![](https://www.pervette.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/Screenshot-2025-03-28-at-5.37.57 PM.png)](https://www.pervette.com/dont-get-deleted/) March 22, 2025 ### [Don’t get deleted](https://www.pervette.com/dont-get-deleted/) [![](https://www.pervette.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/colette_writing_corner.jpg)](https://www.pervette.com/whats-going-on-write-now/) March 18, 2025 ### [what’s going on write now](https://www.pervette.com/whats-going-on-write-now/) [![](https://www.pervette.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/8V0A2628.jpg)](https://www.pervette.com/you-got-deleted/) March 17, 2025 ### [You got deleted](https://www.pervette.com/you-got-deleted/) --- ### [Seeds of Shadow Series](https://www.pervette.com/seeds-of-shadow-series/) **Published:** February 14, 2025 **Author:** Colette Pervette **Content:** **The Origin of The Shadow Series** It was exactly this time 20 years ago[1](javascript:void(0))March 2005, I stepped foot into a grey-and-black-trimmed Victorian house in the Bay Area—a place called *The Gates*. I had just been hired at the Gates, the local Bay Area commercial dungeon. But just a few weeks before, I didn’t even know what a Dominatrix was. All I had coming in was a mind full of pervy thoughts. And my only experience was having read *The Story of O[2](javascript:void(0))and LOVED it.* I assumed there would be some form of training, like a literal learning the ropes. But there was none. Instead, we were told by the headmistress[3](javascript:void(0))who was always stoned to just *shadow* as many sessions as we needed until we felt ready to take on our own. Shadowing meant stepping into a live session, watching and learning through observing the raw and immersive experience, much like an apprentice observing a master/mistress at work. And so, I shadowed three sessions from three different Mistresses. Each scene had its own strange magic, its own distinct rhythm. My eyes widened as I took it all in, committing every detail to memory: **Mistress Davina**, expertly trussing up her sub’s cock and balls with a shoestring, binding the shoestring to his wrists behind his head = predicament bondage **Miss Rose**, sweetly coaxing her “baby” to lower his diaper and bend over her knee for a spanking **Lady Gitana**, giggling with delight as she dolled up her sub in pink lace lingerie and made them dance for her. Each Mistress played differently—some wielded cold cruelty, others exuded warmth and playfulness. Yet all shared the same hypnotic ability to captivate, control, and bring their submissives into complete surrender. Their confidence and imagination seem effortless, as if they had always been this way. And so I wondered: *Do I have this in me?* After just three sessions, I was eager to find out. So I decided to take my first session.. I stepped into my first scene with nerves buzzing through my body. *What do I say? What do I do? Will my sub see right through me?* But as I found the sub on his knees looking up at me, something shifted. The moment I felt my sub’s energy—his deep desire to surrender—my mind quieted. I didn’t need to think. I just felt my way into every moment. The words, the commands, the control—they flowed naturally. By the end, I turned to my sub and confessed, *This was actually my first session.* He looked stunned. Then, to my relief, he said: “You could’ve fooled me.” ~ Looking back, I often reflect: *How did I step into my power so naturally?* How did I embody the role of Dominatrix so quickly? It was because of *shadowing.* Those three sessions were more than just observations—they were *transmissions*. Each scene imprinted something into me, showing me the limitless ways to play and helping me unlock my own unique style. To celebrate both my 20-year Dommeversary and having trained over a thousand Mistresses to become the Dominatrix of their vision, I am launching a new MistressClass training course that pays tribute to this *rare and powerful lineage of Femdom learning*. This will be a raw and edgy immersive experience. If you ask any Dominatrix how she learned, she will likely tell you: *“I knew a Domme who showed me the way.”* That’s the essence of *The Shadow Series.* I love showing the infinite ways to play. And I’m so excited to open the doors and have you virtually step into my dungeon. To shadow me, my subs, and incredible colleagues and have you witness, absorb, and receive the transmission of each scene that will hopefully lead you to your own intuitive path to play. So… [**Would you like to shadow me?**](https://www.pervette.com/shadow-series/ "Shadow Series") --- ### [play again](https://www.pervette.com/play-again/) **Published:** February 17, 2025 **Author:** Colette Pervette **Content:** When was the last time that you got to play where every part of you, your mind, body, was --- ### [MistressClass Graduation](https://www.pervette.com/mistressclass-graduation/) **Published:** September 29, 2024 **Author:** Colette Pervette **Content:** ### MistressClass Graduation ![](https://www.pervette.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/09/A284DA54-D3F3-4270-A010-0DA833B10482.jpg) Inaugural Class of Fall 2021 --- ### [What is Pervette?](https://www.pervette.com/what-is-pervette/) **Published:** June 20, 2017 **Author:** Colette Pervette **Content:** You may be wondering, what’s going on? Don’t worry You’re in a safe space. Feel free to start anywhere And go wherever you want to go Deeper is always better But don’t forget to look back. Everything here is eventually changing And more choices will appear Because Pervette is a **P**ermanently **E**volving **R**adical **V**ision About Pervette.. Hi. I’m [Colette](http://www.pervette.com/who-is-colette/). And Pervette is my [permanently evolving](https://www.pervette.com/work-in-progress/ "work in progress") passion project. Pervette started as a community blog and then evolved into where you are now-[a limitless transmedia labyrinth](https://www.pervette.com/playground/ "Playground") that’s trying to reveal the connections between people and ideas. For me, Pervette is my process of coming out through a collection of stories, knowledge, and art told through layers. For you, I hope Pervette can be an intimate playground for choosing your own adventure. My hope is that it’ll continue to grow into a community-based book of art and wisdom and become your living guide to kink, life, love, death, suffering, spirituality, the taboo[1](javascript:void(0))basically everything worth knowing and more. I’d love for Pervette to be a resource for seekers and a home for healers whose voices have yet to be heard. I created this private space so that I can talk about the things that happened (and the choices I made) that changed my life. And it’s my wish that these words and imagery may inspire you to choose the story you want to live to tell. [Go back to the beginning](https://www.pervette.com/hello-video/ "Hello") --- ### [Dear Mistress](https://www.pervette.com/dear-mistress/) **Published:** August 12, 2024 **Author:** Colette Pervette **Content:** Dear You, If you feel the call to ask for help Feel free to reach out I’m happy to offer my advice Just know that All advice is autobiographical.. xo Colette ~ \[Please note that this is [continually a work in progress](https://www.pervette.com/work-in-progress/ "work in progress")\] Dear Colette, My twin flame and I are both deep in our Saturn return. We have both been doing an enormous amount of work on ourselves in the last year together to create a beautiful and conscious relationship. Things were really great..and then all of a sudden, he has 180-ed on me, and I feel like I have lost my partner, our life, and the connection we have been building. While trying to hold grace and space for his growth, I am feeling really abandoned, betrayed, and heartbroken. How can I both honor him and myself in this time? How do I know when it’s time to walk away? Heartbroken & Confused ~ Dear Heartbroken & Confused, I know your pain and confusion. And how hard it is to hold it together and move forward when it feels like there’s no sturdy ground to which you can anchor yourself. And sometimes it feels like the dark days, tear falls and clouds of confusion will never end. I’ve been through the relationship rollercoaster with my [twin flame](https://www.pervette.com/twin-flame/ "twin flame") in my Saturn return as well. It’s a very distinct crazy-making pain. The pain that knows how amazing it can be when everything and everyone is in harmony.[1](javascript:void(0))Experiencing that ecstatic union is actaully what’s keeping you longer this relationship. It’s as though you’re willing to endure this pain bc you know how good it can be. It’s also the pain that can sense its own depth and knows that it hurts this bad because of how much you love. . I promise you this: This Saturn return and this painful time will pass. And it will pass when you move through it with a deep awareness of your choices and everyday you can see that you are making a conscious choice. . As you know, you have a choice: A) You can choose to stay in the relationship and keep working on it as you work on yourself. B) You can choose to give yourself space from the relationship via separation or breakup and grow in that space that comes from the breakup. . I’m not gonna tell you what to do. Rather I’ll share with you what I see as the “why” behind each choice. And I hope that you choose the one that has the most resonant reason. Let’s walk through both choices: Say you choose A and you stay in the relationship. If you choose to stay, I hope it’s for all the right reasons. Before we get into the right reasons. Let’s list the wrong reasons. Don’t stay because you think you’ve already invested so much in the relationship, therefore you must keep going or else everything that you put into the relationship was a waste. Aka cost sunk fallacy. Don’t stay because you don’t want to let people down. Or you’re afaird of what people would think. Don’t stay because you don’t want to hurt your partner’s feelings or bruise their ego. Don’t stay because you’re afraid of having the difficult breakup conversation. Basically do not stay in the relationship out of fear. If you’re staying because you’re afraid of the uncomfortable breakup and the uncomfortable unknown that follows, know that you’re just prolonging the inevitable (breakup). Don’t wait for the easy exit because there is no easy way out. Voice your needs and if your partner can’t meet your needs, then break up. ~ Another way to look at it: How do you know when to walk away from a relationship? When the growing has stopped. ~ Here are the right reasons to stay: Your partner is willing to change and grow and so are you. You can see and feel that you are growing in this relationship, even right now through this painful period. That whatever is triggering and unraveling you is something that you should be exploring, examining and expressing: like your insecurities, old wounds, abandonment issues, etc. Because if you don’t address these issues, they will always come up in every relationship. And the best way to move through these tumultuous times is to make the most of it. Grow as hard and fast as you can. If you can allow the pain to push you to the cutting edge of your evolution, you will be more powerful and integrated because of it. And paradoxically, it’s in the moments when you can slow down, quiet your mind and take care of yourself (esp. your child self) that you’re doing the most work rapid healing and transformative work. . Every relationship is different so I can’t assume that has what worked for me will work for you. But I will offer you the advice that I wish I had when I was moving through my twin flame / saturn return / dark night of the soul year. So please take only what resonates with you. . When you’re moving through your hardest days, and you think you’re about to lose it, your mind, your heart, your hope. See if you can.. Take care of yourself, even harder. Take all that pain you feel and channel it to become your own healer, mother, and sage. Pour more love, energy, care, patience and compassion towards yourself, more than you ever have. Give your wounded self everything she needs to be whole again. And see all of this as an opportunity to see yourself more fully and to love all of your self more fully. [Meditate everyday.. to cultivate your inner well-being.. to get spiritualized by the pain and alchemize it into your Power. ](https://www.pervette.com/when-my-dad-crossed-over/ "When my dad crossed over") Meditate to see more clearly.. to see the network of cause and effect and experience the bliss of blamelessness. see if you can quiet any judgment of the fucked up situation and accept the present with all of its hidden gifts Pray.. ask for help from your guiding circle Take care of your child self.. ask her how she feels and what does she want Talk it out with someone who can offer you a larger or transcendent perspective.. a trusted friend, mentor or therapist. Envision your highest self, see her standing tall, poised and with the warmest smile. Know that this is why you’re doing the work, to embody her and be her, the highest version of yourself who is filled with of grace and compassion Remember that the you of today is taking something on that the you of yesterday couldn’t possibly even imagine and handle. Trust that everything that you’ve experienced, learned and cultivated has prepared you for this moment, this test, this true marker of progress. When you respond not in your old ways of judgment and reactivity but with newfound love and deep understanding of yourself and the world around you. You gotta breakdown to breakthrough, you breakdown to breakthrough. Allow yourself to break down and through over and over again. This is what it means to be at the cutting edge of your evolution. Yes it’s a test. A test of your power. Your love. A test of everything you got. Love your way out… Radical rage to radical love. See if you can feel into all of it, express this arc from one lifetime to one chapter to one breath. . When you fall See how fast you can feel all of the emotions pick yourself up let the pain subside and heal its wounds . How fast you can turn it all around from fall to rise is indicative of your growth your progress . Make the most of the pain. Alchemize it into your power.. by exploring, examining and expressing the painful truths.. until you own and love your story . You dreamed an epic dream, you dared to live an epic life. You accept the epic plot twists. And trust that it’s all leading you to your wildest dream coming true Plot twists are essential to your epic story. . You dreamt a wild dream. You dreamt of transformation . You are transforming You’re turning into caterpillar mush you’re dissolving your old self and structure in order to evolve into the higher version of you that can reach new heights effortlessly you have to grow wings accpet the tower card moments accept the dissolving of old structures the cocooning the hermiting . your time to rise will come . . Whenever you feel lost Hold the vision of your highest self Let your compassion be your compass. Feel everything to feel more deeply Then feel into your love Follow your passion, your pleasure, your why align your will with that of the universe choose love, choose truth, choose trust when you do you will be guided you will dream bigger. you your will your dream will become an unstoppable force . To be continued.. I’m shifting gears to[ my other passion project](https://www.pervette.com/mistressclass/ "Mistressclass") --- ### [twin flame](https://www.pervette.com/twin-flame/) **Published:** September 26, 2024 **Author:** Colette Pervette **Content:** 🔥TWIN FLAME🔥 What’s a twin flame? A twin flame is a soulmate with whom you are reconnecting in this lifetime to do the deepest work on your self to be at the cutting edge of your evolution. It’s fire meets fire to create a wild alchemical spark that pushes you beyond the edges of yourself to find your truth and power. ~ That’s my rough definition of a twin flame. Here’s everything I know about twin flames, not based on any research at all, but just from own experience. So not all of what I say would most likely fit your situation, so please take only what resonates.[1](javascript:void(0))I’m essentially telling you my story in second person and in the form of platitudes . I should preface not everybody meets their twin flame. . Another caveat: this is a work in progress.. . You may not believe in soulmates[2](javascript:void(0))Or shall I say, maybe you used to or still secretly fantasize that there is such a thing as soulmates, finding your own true partner that fits you so perfectly, but your ego and life experience told you otherwise. That it’s delusional and not good to hold a fictitious idea that your soulmate is out there because you’ll constantly measure these impossible standards to your current partner and will be sorely disappointed. until you meet your twin flame. Because when you drop in with your twin flame, you will feel this deep connection with them that is unlike any other connection that you have ever experienced. It feels like you know them “from another lifetime.” And so you can’t help but to believe that there is such a thing as “past lives” and that maybe we are all eternal souls reincarnating from one life to another. In other words, meeting your twin flame may entail a complete conceptual shift about life, death and rebirth. . Your twin flame may have been orbiting around you for some time maybe just as friends or acquaintances and it never occurred to you that you should be with this person. They may initially seem like they’re not your type. Maybe there was something about them that your ego found unattractive and repellent. . Usually a twin flame comes into your life during or right after you’ve experienced some kind of inner shift. Or right after you’ve made some declaration or movement towards change.[3](javascript:void(0))For example, if you were dating serial monogamously for quite some time and had just broken up with your previous partner, you might declare, “I’m done with monogamy and looking for ‘the one.’ I think I want to be open or poly or a unicorn. I just want to explore and play with no strings attached.” . The sequence of events that leads you to find this uncanny pocket of time and space to drop in with your twin flame will feel “magical” or very improbable. You may start to notice “synchronicities” are happening. And now you’re very sensitive to tracking them.[4](javascript:void(0))And as you know, the more sensitive you are to tracking the synchronicities that are guiding you, the more you see and feel that you are living a very magical and purposeful life. . You will only be able to “see” your twin flame only when the veil of your ego has been lifted.[5](javascript:void(0))If you haven’t experienced your spiritual awakening and can see through your third eye or soul’s eyes, then sometimes acid, shrooms, MDMA and DMT might help thin the veil. Just saying. . When you see your “twin flame” as the soulmate that they are, you may then be slightly aware that you have this thing called an ego that didn’t allow you to see their true soul until now. You have a slight epiphany: Your ego colors your perception of reality with judgments. When you judge someone or something, you put them in some category or box that you dismiss. So when you judge some-thing/one, you cease to see, get to know or understand that thing or person you judge. Basically if you’re a judgy person, you’ll probably never meet your twin flame, because they are not what you think. They are typically not your type. And you would dismiss them as not right for you. . Twin flames are perfect complements to you. What they lack is what you excel in, and what they excel in is what you lack. And therefore you have A LOT to learn from each other. . The falling in love with your twin flame will be like fireworks. It is the most magical and awe-inspiring period you have ever experiences. The highs of the ecstatic union is nothing short of psychedelic. You have never fallen so deeply before and you have never felt more connected with anyone before. Everything that you feel is an unprecedented experience. You never thought you could be *this* in love. It leads you to believe that this is the person you are meant to be with. . Foreshadow: It’s this feeling that you are meant to be with this person that will lead you to stay in this relationship far longer than you ever would in any relationship. . Here’s the thing (and more foreshadowing): Not all twin flames are meant to stay together for the rest of their life as romantic partners. . Twin flame relationships (TFR) is a relationship that is all about pushing you to grow. You will connect with your twin flame at the ripe time, in which you are ready to evolve and grow.[6](javascript:void(0))This might be during your Saturn Return, which is around the age of 27-32 years old. A twin flame is exactly how it sounds. Their flame is a perfect match and twin to yours. Your flame creates a shadow of their flame that mirrors the shadow of your flame that is created with their flame meeting yours.[7](javascript:void(0))Sorry that’s very convoluted, what I mean to say is that your flame and shadow mirrors theirs perfectly . As in each of your flames are casting a very visible shadow of each other’s flames so that you can see your shadow and theirs very clearly. No other soul can reveal to you your shadow as clearly as a twin flame. In every relationship you’ve had prior to your TFR you were blind to your own shadow. You didn’t even know that you have this thing called a shadow and that’s because your ego did a great job of obscuring it to you and the world around you. . When the new relationship energy fades and the shadows come out, thi sis In fact, it’s the unprecedented ecstasy that will keep you staying in the relationship [To be continued..](https://www.pervette.com/work-in-progress/ "work in progress") I have to get back to [my main passion project](https://www.pervette.com/mistressclass/ "Mistressclass") --- ### [Work and Play with Colette](https://www.pervette.com/work-and-play-with-colette/) **Published:** March 19, 2021 **Author:** Colette Pervette **Content:** I’m Colette. I curate magical journeys by working and playing with your potent dreams and helping you find your unique path to realizing your innermost desire. I do this by creating a safe space for you to explore and express your soul urge for power, pleasure and love. To guide you into doing the Great Work[1](javascript:void(0))of making the unconscious conscious I appear in many forms.. I’m a Dominatrix. I [explore your erotic fantasies](https://www.pervette.com/submission-portal/ "submission portal") with you and show you the [art of surrendering](www.dominacolette.com) to your desire I’m an Educatrix. I use BDSM as a tool to guide you through your shadow work to help you find your power. For top-leaning femmes, I [teach the Tao and craft of the Domme](https://www.pervette.com/mistressclass/ "Mistressclass") and mentor you into becoming the Dominatrix of your vision. I’m a Shamantrix. I guide you into a spiritual journey of healing yourself through the power of plants, heart medicine, and ritual. I’m a Humanatrix. I teach the art of intimacy by guiding you into doing the dance of being in an heart-expanding relationship with yourself and the world around you I’m a Creatrix. I inspire you to dream big. Together we work with your imagination to create the future of your visions. Together we explore the “life-changing” choices that bring you closer to your unique path and purpose. So that you can live the story you want to tell. If some part of you is resonating with some part of me And you want to know what happens when we explore our wildest fantasies together.. Then [reach out](https://www.pervette.com/connect/) and [say YES to your desire](https://www.pervette.com/submit-your-dream/ "Submit your dream") --- ### [Banned words](https://www.pervette.com/banned-words/) **Published:** September 17, 2024 **Author:** Colette Pervette **Content:** You know the feeling. The shot of anxiety that courses through your whole body when you open up your Instagram app and something is wrong with your account. You hold your breath when you check your status and see the orange or red icons where it should be green checkmarks your content “can’t be recommended to non-followers” You have several posts flagged as violating community guidelines You have to archive or delete the offensive post that you probably spent a good chunk of time and energy editing and putting it together or pouring your heart into the caption. Goodbye hard work. Goodbye art. Goodbye comments. That’s a good day. A bad day is when you open up your app and that dreaded window pops up with an exclamation in the triangle thingy that reads: Your account is suspended. FUCK. If you create spicy content, you’ve probably been there. You know that purgatory. More on that later ~ I’m writing this because I think we need some guidebook on how to navigate IG and at the same time, I’m tired of not having no outlet to talk about my frustration with IG. Because **the first rule of Instagram is** YOU DON’T TALK ABOUT INSTAGRAM as in you can’t talk shit about IG on IG. Which leads me to the words you shouldn’t be using.. **BANNED WORDS / BAD WORDS / DANGEROUS WORDS** First off, don’t say you’re SHADOWBANNED, don’t say your friend’s ACCOUNT got SUSPENDED or DELETED or DISABLED. Meta doesn’t like it when you get meta about their shitty algorithm and impossible rules of engagement and their vague “community guidelines.” Instead use safer words to describe deletion like “erase” or “cease to exist.” Lately I’ve been using “deemed too hot for this platform” because I think (but am not sure) “hot” and “platform” are still safe. I’ve seen some friends get creative and say “forever on the naughty step” or “yeeted” to talk about the deletion of their previous accounts But it’s best to abide by the rule: DON’T GET META ON META because Meta will most likely squash you if you try to call them out on their ridiculous rules. . So that means we’re all playing this absurd game of trying to exist on a platform that we can’t talk about its bad behavior. We all know this is shitty and wrong but can’t talk about it because it has so much power over us. We have to pretend like everything’s okay. It’s like being in a very toxic and gaslighty relationship with someone or something that has control over your livelihood. In other words, we’re all in **digital feudalistic** relationship with IG. and the digital feudalistic that we all --- ### [nulla dies sine linea](https://www.pervette.com/nulla-dies-sine-linea/) **Published:** July 21, 2022 **Author:** Colette Pervette **Content:** You practice bibliomancy daily. It’s usually in the middle of the day that you pick up a book that calls to you. You open it up and read what it has to say.. Is it just you or is everything that you’re reading is reading your mind? You write in the margins. Your thoughts, your memories, your reflections.. You read and read until you feel inspired to write.. You write and write until your book is all filled up.. Remember how you wanted to be an art major in college, but to appease your mom, who wanted you to be more “practical,” you decided to be a psych major instead.. When the artist is alive in any person, whatever her kind of work may be, she becomes an inventive, searching, daring, self-expressing creature. She becomes interesting to other people. She disturbs, upsets, enlightens, and she opens ways for a better understanding. Where those who are not artists are trying to close the book, she opens it, shows there are still more pages possible.[1](javascript:void(0))Robert Henri’s *The Art Spirit* So you made a promise to yourself: You’ll major in Psychology. But you will make everything else your art. You’ll make your life your art. You want to explore the human psyche. To you, this is what it means to go deep. In college and grad school, you learned about how the mind works through books, theories and the scientific method. But something was missing. Because not all your questions were answered. There are still things in the inner world that are yet to be uncovered. The unconscious fantasies, the a-ha moments, the unlocking of one’s highest potential. How do you explore that realm? This is poetry as illumination, for it is through poetry that we name to those ideas which are – until the poem – nameless and formless, about to be birthed, but already felt. [2](javascript:void(0))Audre Lorde’s *Poetry Is Not a Luxury* Your art is trying to find a way to share your inner world, your unconscious, your fantasies, your a-ha moments with the world around you. The trick to it is to do it with everything you got, your wit and your tits. And all of your he(art). At the age of eighteen, you had a realization that you’re going to write a book in your lifetime. *Leave something behind*. Make meaning from your life. That’s the meaning of life. But before you can sit down and write, you have to live a meaningful life. Collect experiences, make interesting choices and follow your inner compass aka your fantasies. It’s only then will you will live the story that you want to tell. My life is a story of the self-realization of the unconscious. Everything in the unconscious seeks outward manifestation, and the personality too desires to evolve out of its unconscious conditions and to experience itself as a whole.. What we are to our inward vision can only be expressed by way of myth.. Thus it is that I have now undertaken, in my fortieth year, to tell you my personal myth. I can only make direct statements, only “tell stories.” Whether or not the stories are “true” is not the problem. The only question is whether what I tell is my fable, my truth.[3](javascript:void(0))Carl Jung’s *Memories, Dreams, Reflections* From that point of realization onward, you’ve been following your curiosity. Making curious choices. Oftentimes your life seems like a mystery. You are a riddle to many, including yourself. You began to see that to truly solve it is to dissolve the ego that wants to draw conclusions and control what comes next. All you can really do to “know” yourself is to quiet the judging voices and listen closely to your heart’s desire and trust your intuition. Trust the surprises. Trust all the choices that you made.[4](javascript:void(0))Because they made you. Trust all the time it takes to find your voice. Trust that when you are ready to put your voice out there. It will be heard by those who are open and curious, just like you. Trust that this is how you find yourself. Trust that this is how you find true love, connection and community. Trust that thiis is how you find everything that you’re looking for. Learn from your joy. Learn from your pain. It’s in the heights of ecstasy and depths of suffering can you see the fuller range of how you feel and who you are in the patterns of your life. The rhythm that drives the rise and fall of a good beat can be heard more clearly when you don’t overthink but feel your way. The melody of synchronicities flow more fluidly when you don’t judge but dance with your shadow and see how light always comes through when you look for it in your darkest hours. We are in an age when people think they should have opinions about everything, and they rush past the facts to ge there, pass judgment without basis, and then spread the judgment ass fact when the facts have never been uncovered or sifted through or verified. A lot of times you can’t reach a firm conclusion from an action or connection or statement or association, and you shouldn’t try. We don’t need to have opinions about everything, and every opinion we do have needs to be on a solid foundation of fact. “I don’t know” is a really good position to take, and it’s often the most honest and accurate one available. And we need to recognize the difference between an opinion and a fact, an inkling (or prejudice) and a settled truth. One thing that I recognize more and more is that public falsehoods are not something to be foisted in us; they are something we must be active collaborators with, by accepting and repeating the unchecked lie, rumor, over interpretation. Or we can be their enemy, refusing to accept and repeat unless we know, and accepting that often we do not know.[5](javascript:void(0))Rebecca Solnit Remember that time when the wrong part of the internet went down this rabbithole, distorted your writing and called you the devil. As if you needed more motivation to write, to teach, to dispel the misconceptions. It’s time to write your story. In the clearest way possible. So that it cannot be twisted into falsehoods. In fact, when your story is told: It will change minds, open hearts, and turn people on to a new way of being and playing with the world. . --- ### [Dreams and Wisdom](https://www.pervette.com/dreams-and-wisdom/) **Published:** June 29, 2021 **Author:** Colette Pervette **Content:** ![](https://www.pervette.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/05/cutie01_space.png) In 2016, I started writing down a list of my wild dreams: [Your dream is to help others realize their wildest dreams. Every time a dream comes true, yours does too.](https://www.pervette.com/mistressclass-testimonials/ "MistressClass Testimonials") . [You build an army of Dommes. You teach women and femmes how to find their power by wielding their sexuality and deepening their spirituality.](https://www.pervette.com/mistressclass/ "Mistressclass") . You become known for your experimental writing and radical intimacy. . [You tell your story, in your own words, with your own voice, and it clears up the misconceptions about your world. As it opens people’s hearts and minds to alternative lifestyles, such as kink, sexwork and polyamory.](https://www.pervette.com/and-so-it-begins/ "And so it begins") You keep on saying it and seeing it happen.. *Even a conversation can change lives.*. Just by speaking your truth with another, just by putting your voice out there, you inspire change in the lives of those around you. . [You teach what you’ve learned in your lifetime. All the keys to unlocking and unblocking your self, you pass on to those who are also seeking to find their unique path.](https://www.pervette.com/mistressclass-testimonials/ "MistressClass Testimonials") . You have the golden touch. Whomever you connect, work and play with, you see them grow and soar. . You tell your story. It’s a story that inspires others to choose the more interesting choice so we can live the story we want to tell. . Your openness is a super power. It can dissolve shame and fear and give people the courage to speak their full truth, shadow, shame and all. . [You create a radical education of the heart, that not only changes minds, but opens hearts and turns you on.](https://www.pervette.com/mistressclass/ "Mistressclass") . You create virtual and physical safe spaces where people share their stories, dreams and wisdom in he(art)ful ways. And through these spaces, you build a community where people connect and communicate to each other through their stories, dreams, and wisdom. It’s a fruitful network where curious souls meet their mates. . Your unique path inspires others to find and create their own. . You write out a utopian sci-fi story set in the near future of 2042 depicting a magical post-shame world where sexwork is decriminalized, normalized and spiritualized. It’s a book, film comic strip, porn, etc…and everything you write becomes true by 2042. . You raise consciousness in the most unorthodox ways. . You are part of a movement that eradicates shame and stigma around sex, kink, drugs, the taboo. . Your presence makes people believe in magic. . Your home is a sanctuary for your self and others. Your home is a place to create, a place to gather, a place to heal, a place to celebrate, a place to make love, art and magic. . [You help bring back the Power of the Feminine.](https://www.pervette.com/mistressclass/ "Mistressclass") . You make spirituality sexy. . You activate your parked domain perv.org by creating the PERV foundation. It stands for Permanently Evolving Radical Vision. It supports sexworkers, the healing arts and radical education. . You build a radical community. Every one in this community is open, curious, loving, healing, intimate, radical, evolving, free, and playful. . You build a sustainable Femmepire and hire your friends. Giving each creative license to work their magic and play. . All your work feels like play. . You inspire others to tell their story and collect their family’s oral history. You build a web that can weave the collective story. This is where people learn about the real herstory/history. . Your parties are mythic portals. . You play and make magic with your heroes and heroines. . You make bdsm accessible to all by dispelling its misconceptions and shedding light on its alchemical power. . [You create a sexy mystery school that teaches femmes to master themselves to become the Domme of their vision.](https://www.pervette.com/mistressclass/ "Mistressclass") . Your foundation radicalizes a new kind of life education. it teaches the world how to play, how to love, how to make magic.[1](javascript:void(0))(i.e., make dreams come true) . You create a transgenre, it’s a transmedia blend of art/film/book/game. This metagenre pushes people to get creative not only with content but structure. Every time one creates with the principles of this transgenre, they are transcending old boundaries by creating new structures or of reality.. . You create an immersive reality game. Everyone wants to play it because it’s edgy and boundary-pushing and surprisingly enlightening and life-changing. . You author multiple books and zines. They’re both inspiring and subversive. . You create the world’s most intimate and labyrinthine website. It’s intimate because it’s your full story in all the juicy sounds and imagery that you’ve collected in your lifetime told in the most personal and creative way. . Pervette compels the curious to get intimate with you as they get intimate with themselves so they can get intimate with others. It’s a magical methodology that somehow works when one goes deeper down your rabbithole, they become more open and curious. . You pour your soul into Pervette and it becomes a portal to connect with other like-minded healers, artists and teachers on a soul level. . You help create a widening circle of growth and evolution. By teaching the art of fantasy and self exploration, people around you are transformed by this work of seeking and expressing their truth. . Your meditations allow you to see into possible futures. Ones that you can create with your art and your heart. . You use social media in a subversive way that unhinges the addiction model it’s based on. . You inspire people to build their own websites and platforms. To create their own spaces to bare all without fear of deletion, shadow banning and evolving algorithms. 100% freedom. 100% profit. No more working for the invisible man. . Your art changes the way people think about technology, education, storytelling and what’s possible on the internet. . You teach the art of kink in a heartful and accessible way. Even self-identified vanilla folks are curious to try out these new flavors. . You build art temples in unexpected places around the world. They are sanctuaries, places to gather, places to create in, places to celebrate in, places to meditate and honor the divine Feminine in. . You tell your story, your family’s story, your country’s story. It’s a story about the war, it’s a love story, it’s a fairy tale, it’s a mystery. It’s a choose your own adventure. It’s a story that compels those read it want to choose their own adventure. . The therapy that you provide for others is different. You don’t work with problems and issues, you work with dreams and desires. And let that be the guide.. . You re/connect with your soulmates. You find that their dream is your dream. So you work together and play for your dreams. Everyone combines their superpower and resources to realize the collective dream where you heal the world, you play with the world you empower the world. . [You change a thousand lives. And know it. Because they share their story with you and the world around them.](https://www.pervette.com/mistressclass-testimonials/ "MistressClass Testimonials"). . To be continued.. In 2017, I started writing down what I learned from experience: You are the author of your story. Which means you have the power to choose the story you want to tell. It’s okay if things happen that are beyond your control. Those unexpected events (crises or whatever you want to call it) are part of the plot. Even then you still have the creative control to choose what you want to do next. So whenever you’re stuck and can’t seem to decide what to do Just ask yourself What’s the story I want to tell? . The most powerful thing you can do is to get in touch with your dreams. Hold on to them and let them guide you. . Do you recall your childhood fantasies? What did you used to day dream about? Go back and remember where your imagination used to take you Fantasies are prophecies of your possible future.. . Hold tight to your dreams like you would your old stuffed bear. Carry them everywhere with you, love it, take care of it like it’s your baby. Whatever you do, don’t put it away, don’t hide it in the closet. If you did, pull it out quick, and bring it back to life. . Be the child who doesn’t know what’s right or wrong, good or bad, normal or crazy Be the child who sees the world as her playground and finds a way to play with everything life has to offer her.. . Be the curious child who keeps seeing the truth and telling it like it is.. . Build your identity, then let life it break down again until you can see beyond your self. . Your reality is the story you’re telling your self. . Tell your story like it’s a love story. One that’s a constant mystery to you.. . Life can either be series of finite or infnite games. A finite game has set rules and is a a zero sum game, where another has to lose in order for you to win. The infinite game has no set rules and you’re not playing to win. You’re making and changing the rules as you go to keep the game going and growing. In every situation see if you can play the infinite game. . The one who can change the most lives with their life story and wisdom helps everyone win. When you can cry until you laugh, when you can make fun of yourself is when you you can see your self beyond the veil of your ego . when you can tell your story is when you own your story is when you can see all the choices you can make is when you become the author of the story you want to tell . what’s the point? the point is at the end when you look back you can say, you have no regrets, you did everything you wanted to do, you gave all the love you can give, you created all that you can create, you changed all that you can change, you learned as much as you can learn you faced all that you needed to face to live out the dream that was always inside you.. . The education of desire is the most important education. . . Conflict ends at the beginning of wanting to understand . Pain, Truth, Power One leads to the other.. . Seek the truth. You’ll know when you’re getting closer. Your body will show you the way though feelings. When it hurts, when you get the chills, when you are moved to tears, that’s the truth coming out telling you to look more closely at what excites you and what agitates you. Whatever you do, don’t run away from the uncomfortable feelings. Get to know it, like you would a friend. Whatever you do, don’t judge it. Stay open, curious and compassionate. Love the pain like it’s your greatest teacher. Pain points you to the truth. And all truth points you to your power. . Tell the truth, even if it hurts you or the other… It’s the only way to growing deeper and more intimate with yourself, your beloved and the world around you. It’s the only way to creating a shared reality, creating a shared reality is the only way to realizing your wildest dreams. . Just saying it can make it happen. Miracles come from sharing your dreams. When you make the unknowable knowable to another, when you make the unconscious conscious to yourself. You are weaving a wider web of synchronicities and possibilities, i.e. the space of miracles. . I repeat. I go back in circles until I see how non linear this is The path to realizing your dream is the path of seeking and telling your truth When you miss the point you will repeat yourself, until you get it.. . . If there’s something you don’t get or make sense of, something that challenges you, your way of being and seeing, you should probably get to to know that Unknown.. . When it hurts. Go deeper until you see where the pain came. Most often, it’s not a = b, it’s way more complex and connected than you think, it’s your past imperfect, to your present consciousness, to your future potential. See how it’s all interconnected, how what you feel is a web of chain reactions that began from past events, past relationships, it keeps going back to when you were little, to when your parents were little, when you or another didn’t know any better. Keep digging until you see that there is no one person or thing to blame. When you have arrived at the origin of the pain, it will no longer hurt. Pain ends at the beginning of understanding. . Power is choice. You lose your power when you think you have no choice. . If you think that this is how it is, and how it will always be. You lost it. . To love is to live to live is to love . Until someone you love dies and you are filled with regret you realize The fullness of one’s life is simply measured by how much you love you can give . fall in love with the whole story of how it all came to be, how you came to see that the truth of what is Go deeper with the uncomfortable feeling, get to the root. Once you get to know it, it will lose its grip on you. Because once you “get it” you can choose to let it go.. . You can try to hide the truth. But it always has a way of coming out.. . Every time you lie, every time you bend the truth to make it fit into your fantasy or someone’ else’s fantasy of who you think you ought to be you are giving away your power to a fear. A fear of judgment and rejection. A fear of hurting another or bruising your ego.. Every time you tell the truth, esp when it hurts and shatters an illusion, you are stepping into your power. Remember power is the ability to create change, and change comes form creating a shared reality..you can’t grow or go far by living a compartmentalized life. When you lie, you are creating fractured “realities” filled with illusions and fantasies that masquerade as “reality.” You are esentially thickening the veil, and quickly losing focus, clairity, and in/sight into you and the potential expansive future. . Trust in Truth => Shared Reality => Expansive Future Play the Trust game. Trust everything. Trust that EVERYTHING is happening for a reason. Even the accidents and mistakes. Even the painful and uncomfortable. Everything is happening to show and teach you something. If you ask why is this happening with an open heart and mind, you will see why. Everything is pushing you to the edge of your evolution…don’t forget to say thank you to everything, everyday.. play this game so well until you truly do trust everything.. This is the quickest way to the deep surrender to your desire and to desiring the deep surrender.. this is the way to Grace.. . The key to unlocking yourself is to embody and embrace the paradox of you and life. Keep on transcending the dualistic ego mind by finding a way to love it all, to get off on everything at the same time, pain & pleasure, life & death, masculine & feminine.. . Dance. Dance like a fool. Dance like a siren. Do the wild dance. Do the joy dance. Do the silly dance. Just dance. Dancing is series of continuous motions of throwing your body out of balance to intuitively find your balance without thought. It’s the physical and metaphorical practice of using your body to create poetry with the rhythms of life. Dancing is one of the quickest state changes. . Learn how to state change. Shift a mood from negative to positive, fast to slow, serious to silly. Find the ways to state change: improve, bdsm, dance, meditate, walk, sing, look at something cute/beautiful/inspiring, talk to someone, Learn how to create pattern disruptors. . If you’re a night owl, try waking up early. If you’re frugal, start spending more money and treat yourself to things you typically wouldn’t. If you’re a people pleaser, start telling people how you feel and what you want even if it’s not what they want to hear. Basically, do the opposite of what you tend to do. This is how you widen the range of your experiences and not limit yourself to what you (or others) think you are. . When we compare the older generations to the current, we can clearly see that we are evolving. There is less rigidity, less duality and less judgment, and more fluidity, openness, and acceptance. . if you have modest dreams, you will live a modest life. If you have epic dreams, and are in touch with them, you can create an epic life. . What are big dreams? It’s not big money, big houses, and more luxury goods. Big dreams are the dreams that have the power to change many lives. The bigger your dreams, the bigger its potential to change lives on a wider scale. When you dream big, the material resources (money) are a by product to your spiritual goal. It will effortlessly flow in as a means to help you reach your goal. . If you have a crazy dream, you have to allow yourself to go crazy to chase it. Others will think you are crazy. and you might think you are too. But remember, crazy people are just people who can see things most people can’t see. They see a future where they’re not called crazy anymore.. . When you dissolve your ego, you hone your intuition. Because you are no longer guided by what others think, you are following your internal compass of what feels right. . The moment you judge something or someone, you create a separation between yourself and what you judge. Judgment is the antidote to understanding. When you judge, you limit yourself from understanding and connecting with what you judge. All your judgments can essentially define your limits of who you think you are and what you can be and get to know. . If you want the love of your dreams, you have to love like you would in your dreams, love fearlessly. . If you admire someone, reach out to them, be the fool, risk rejection. In moments of uncertainty, just ask yourself What’s the story you want to tell? Do you want to say.. You didn’t do it because you played it cool and safe. Or do you want to say, you went for it, you put yourself out there, just to see what would happen. . Soulmates exist. Yes they’re your fantasies, but fantasies are prophesies of a possible future. . Here’s a theory, everyone in your life is a soulmate. The more you do the work on self to know yourself, the more you’ll be able to see the soulmates for who they are. . If you want to find your “soulmate,” you have to do the work on self to be ready for them when they come into your orbit. What if every thing you do was out of love? That means no more acting out of fear. . We are always in pursuit of power. Our power. Every choice is governed by this desire. Oftentimes it’s unconscious . When we don’t clearly define what power means to us. We look for it in all the wrong places. Outside of us. . But when we begin to consciously define what power is, we realize it’s all from within. We can then consciously find that power with every choice that we make and catch ourselves when we lose our way.. . Every choice that is aligned with the truth of who you are and your active search for and expression of it is a powerful choice. When you act out of fear, your world grows smaller. When you act out of love, your world grows larger. How big and expansive your world is connected to how big your heart is. . If you love it out, every fear, every insecurity, every painful moment, you will develop the most incredible superpower, an open heart. . To work on yourself and heal all your wounds is to heal all the intergenerational trauma of your lineage. . When you tell your story and share your dreams, you begin the alchemical process of linking your past to your future, making the most powerful choices of the the present moment very clear to you. . BDSM is the act of getting out of your head and into your body. When there is no room for what you think, there’s ample space to feel your way, to feel everything, and find the pleasure and bliss in all of it. . The wise self is embodied. If you turn off your mind and tune into your body, you don’t need to think about what to do next. You just feel your way. That’s the practice of honing your intuition. A bdsm session, a dance, improv, poetry, whatever it is, do the practice of following your intuition and finding your flow. . How do you feel? What do you want? Practice asking yourself that everyday. Soon enough it will lead you to the point. . What happens when you drop the ego is what happens when you lift the veil. . If you can love unconditionally yourself, your beloved, your family, the world, you are complete. . When you get clear on your innermost desire, you’ll begin to learn the invisible language of reading into the signs. These signs/synchronicities will appear more often than you think, prompting you to make the more interesting choice that brings you closer to your dream. . The size of your dream is connected to the depth of the work you will have to do on self to achieve it. If you have a big dream of creating impact on the world, you have to be prepared to do the deepest work on self…the bigger the dream, the deeper the work. . When you do the work on self, and change and grow, beyond your self, you become the clear existence proof that change is possible, for your self and the world around you. Your conviction in your wild dream grows and you grow. . The work on self is getting to know yourself. When you explore your feelings, desires and boundaries, you are getting intimate with every corner and shadow of your self. Explore the uncomfortable, the painful, the fearful and tearful parts, until you see why, how, when and where it all began. This is the deep work of getting intimate with your self and learning to love all of your self. And once you can see, understand and love all of your self for who you are, you will have unblocked and unlocked your greatest super power, your unconditional self-love and compassion. . You can only trust yourself if you love yourself You can only love yourself if you know yourself . The depth and intimacy of ALL your relationships hinge on the depth of your intimacy with yourself… . Note to people pleasers: You can’t fully love and take care of another until you learn how to fully love and take care of yourself. . If you think that this is how it is, then you don’t see the choice, when you don’t see the choice, you don’t see your power. . The Dom(me) is sub conscious The sub is self-conscious Whoever can get out of their head and be more conscious of the world outside of themsleves has the greater power . Connecting your story to your dream allows you to see the bigger picture. The bigger picture is your map in your journey, when you find the clues and connect the dots between story and dream, you find your personal wisdom that guides you to your way. . If you’re looking for the love of your life, then learn to love your life, love every part of yourself, until you are whole and there are no voids or holes to be filled by another. When you’re solid, centered and holding still, everything will come to you. . Back to[ where you were](https://www.pervette.com/playground/ "Playground") --- ### [you are living your dream](https://www.pervette.com/you-are-living-your-dream/) **Published:** August 12, 2024 **Author:** Colette Pervette **Content:** you know that you are living your dream when you story is truly a mystery that keeps you guessing . you keep choosing to step into the Unknown keep choosing the life that you can’t predict keep choosing to not play it safe you keep choosing to take risks . you know that you are living your dream when you can have your nightmare days and yet you choose to keep on going to make the most of it so that you can see in/through time how the worst thing that happened to you was the best thing that happened to you . you keep letting go keep dissolving your ego you choose to see every crisis as a moment of Truth as an opportunity to grow even harder and faster. . can you be in your fullest self expression to be at the cutting edge of your evolution? . you know that you are living your dream when you are constantly getting intimate with your shadows and learning how to love and integrate it into your powerful truth. . you know that you are living the dream when you see synchronicities everywhere and you can’t ignore the improbable signs that all make sense to you. . you know that you are living your dream when you are actively collecting the dots and connecting the dots . live, gather experiences, collect data, construct theories about how the world works track the magic the moments when you realize your dream make sense of the realization . you know that you are living the dream when you embody the truth and express the truth so fully that every part of you is true even your wildest dreams . keep going deeper explore examine and express your truth know yourself so deeply even your insecurities are your truth know and love your truth so much that no shame can exist no fear can exist . love your way in love your way out --- ### [alchemy is in the expression](https://www.pervette.com/alchemy-is-in-the-expression/) **Published:** August 12, 2024 **Author:** Colette Pervette **Content:** the painful truth is the powerful truth that has the power to change you when you explore examine and express the painful truth is the powerful truth that has the power to change you when you explore examine and express the painful truth is the powerful truth that has the power to change you when you explore examine and express the painful truth is . The alchemy is in the expression When you can tell your story you own your story when you own your story you are the author of your story when you are the author of your story you can begin to see all the choices that you have and when you can see all the choices that you can make [you are truly living the story you want to tell](https://www.pervette.com/you-are-living-your-dream/ "you are living your dream") . --- ### [When my dad crossed over](https://www.pervette.com/when-my-dad-crossed-over/) **Published:** August 12, 2024 **Author:** Colette Pervette **Content:** After my dad crossed over, I started a spi/ritual practice. . Every morning upon waking up I would write my morning pages meditate for an hour every morning . When I was in my spiritual zone And I would pray to him and for him . When I prayed and talked to him I felt him near me . and i journaled every thought that came to mind and every feeling that I felt. . What unfolded was one the most beautiful chapters of my life . I became still. And I felt the pain and I felt the love a love that was so vast and deep timeless and mukltidimensional This love was infinite our love can heal everything even this pain grief remorse and deep regret it was healing every wound . My ability to feel that sadness and love my way out of it. You gave me a superpower. I can feel. I can heal. I can love everything. Even your last wish. Your last choice changed my whole life. . Your last choice was a wish . to bring me closer to my sister. i had never felt closer to her than the moment she told me what happened how you took your life . I drew the 3 of swords that morning three knives pierced through the heart it was too literal I thought but that was the first synchronicity . Without his physical form, I felt his spirit and soul so deeply . We began to communicate in a new way . He used to be the one talking when he was alive He rarely listened to me Now I’m the one talking to him And he’s fully listening . I used to think he was off Now I know that offness is called neurodivergence I see so clearly what he passed on to me . I have his eyes, his lips I have his left-handedness, his dancing feet I have his heartbeat it keeps going and finding its rhythm on a different spectrum . We are in harmony now . We are listening closely. . I have his unique style His musicality His refined tastes His ability to feel a song so deeply His obsessions and addictions . I saw what I needed to heal within myself to heal our intergenerational wounds . In those long meditations the veil thinned the ego disappeared the truth came through so clearly It was undeniable How much we loved each other When we become formless and infinite again we will see so clearly that’s all that matters . . feel the pain let it bring you the truth [that you need to see](https://www.pervette.com/alchemy-is-in-the-expression/ "alchemy is in the expression") --- ### [MistressClass Testimonials](https://www.pervette.com/mistressclass-testimonials/) **Published:** February 9, 2022 **Author:** Colette Pervette **Content:** ## MistressClass Testimonials MistressClass was an incredible journey that helped me grow in confidence, embrace and cultivate my inner Domme, and share it openly with others. Also, it was amazing to just feel part of a beautiful community who share similar goals and desires. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed every session, which has covered vast scope from psychology, techniques, verbal domination, different domme styles and much more. I highly recommend the course and Mistress Colette is a huge inspiration to Domme’s everywhere, thank you so much! ~Queen Jezebel MistressClass is a robust class where your power meets your technical skills; it takes a concept and teaches you to acknowledge your discomfort with it, embrace your power connected to it, practice practice practice, and implement your skills into your personal journey. It is one of the most resourceful online Domme trainings I have come across. I got exactly what I was looking for from it related to developing my technical capabilities and toolkit as a Domme, but was also challenged to learn who I am as myself AND my persona, and claim it proudly. Colette encourages you to learn your story first and lead the rest of your life with an unwavering pride. You will learn to lead an authentic life and apply it in all aspects; Femdomme, work, personal relations… so long as you uncover the truth of your desires, you will have the tools you need to shed the shame that as kept you boxed up this long. Colette holds your hand and walks you through the journey to the center of your magic, so you can carry others through their own as well. She is an incredible teacher with endless impactful stories, resources, and a heart of gold. I am happy to leave this course confident a and knowing the ins and outs to hold a session or tap into my own power. ~ Serenity Fatale For a complete novice in kink, I found MistressClass to be an incredible alternative look into doing the challenging self-work that may not be found in traditional therapy or practices. That is not to say that Domina Colette doesn’t look at the actual business of kink work — her dedication and breakdown of the class to set up successful, professional dommes is a full toolbox that is sharp, matter-of-fact, and always supportive. This is led by example with her cadrette of other exceptional female dommes leading the way, with a true and profound women-supporting-women culture that is refreshingly — and unsurprisingly for the genre — culturally progressive. ~ Lady One I joined the class the week I took my first paid session after hearing Colette on a podcast. I was yearning for a space to connect with other Dommes and learn more as I went pro and was finding it challenging to make any connections online. The class helped give so much insight in the early days and each week I was grateful to have the space to ask Colette and the other sisters if there were areas I needed support and lacked clarity. The tasks helped me gain clarity on developing my Domme persona, and speaking with the subs being so much more open to sharing then my own subs helped me also. Each class was packed out with so much wisdom, I really got excited for it each week. Thank you Colette for creating this and sharing your wisdom ~Mistress Mary Volturri I honestly didn’t really know what a domme was when I signed up, and I just knew it was a fuck yes in my nervous system. I’m so glad I did. There are some aspects of being a Domme that doesn’t resonate with me, but I took the profound wisdom and knowledge Colette has shared and turned it into my own unique flavor. I now use it in my sex coaching to teach men how to be more dominant with their wives. I’ve taken the knowledge and am supporting couples to have more kink and sexual polarity in their lives. Even if you don’t want to become a professional Domme, this course will inspire parts of yourself to be developed that you may not even know need to be. Just do it! You won’t regret it. ~ Priestess Rose You are truly an inspiration and the course has equipped me with tools, knowledge, and perhaps more importantly psychological safety to explore this aspect of myself with other women from all different walks of life, all of which has been invaluable for me. Over a short period, you’ve exposed us to so much – from the rich spectrum of domme styles to a taste of the multilayered experience that playing with the D/s dynamic can be. I also deeply appreciate your generosity in allowing us to interact with and learn from your domme and sub connections. I feel your enthusiasm for the Mistresses in the class through the course that you have created for us so thank you again for this work! ~Temptress Aurora MistressClass was a fun and edgy course. I went into it as a complete novice, with the intention of exploring my relationship with power. I came out of MistressClass with practical knowledge of BDSM techniques, philosophies, ethics, business advice, and the deep spiritual experience of naming and channeling my inner domme. Connecting with the MistressClass community has been uplifting and empowering. I am proud to be a part of this bold movement. ~Victress Percy Colette, I really wanted to make sure you knew. Having you teach the practical tools and lessons – especially for flogging and prostate/ass play was CRUCIAL in my journey. I don’t know how else I would have safely learned that. You made it so fun to learn which activated all of the right parts of my brain to take it in. Thank you so much for how much information you gave during MistressClass. I feel very prepared! ~Domina Vesper Dear Colette, I’m deeply impressed by your gentle being guiding me to the edges. I felt safe and supported and I very much appreciated that you were sharing so openly. I loved the whole composition of Mistress Class with the discord channel, the guest speakers, your subs and all the resources you provided us. Thank you for eternity. Yours, Anouk. ~Anouk LaReine Mistress Colette opens and creates a powerful, sacred and safe space for expansion and vulnerability. She shines her heart open, leading with love and care. I’ve learned so much about myself and my purpose through the teachings and community in this class. I feel more access to my inner power and ability to create change in my life. Thank you Mistress Colette, you are an inspiration! ~Mistress Kaia Luna What an amazing, transformational experience! I have always felt comfortable in my own skin, but this class took me to new heights in my ability to embody my sensual and sexual femme side. I have a much clearer understanding of my boundaries, my desires and my power 🖤 ~Domina Dea If you feel afraid of your power or uncomfortable yelling it, this is the class you! Colette is inspiring and captivating and she brings in a team of unique, powerful individuals to help guide you on your way to self empowerment. It’s unlike anything I have ever experienced before and I can’t not recommend it enough🖤 ~Mistress Dee Colette’s MistressClass helped me to reconnect with my sensuality and power that had been suppressed for decades due to religious indoctrination and societal expectations. It has been Instrumental in helping me create my roadmap to my way home to myself, my sexuality and my power. This is Heart Work. This is about seeing what’s possible for you. Give yourself this gift. And if it feels intimidating or scary, then you definitely must do it! ~Domina Darla Luxe Hi Colette, WOW. It feels surreal that the classes are over, my heart is yearning for more. I felt that there has been a well of deep innate knowledge that has been awaiting me and now that I have had a taste I want to swim within its knowing to emerge transformed by the becoming.. Lady Mae ~ MistressClass is a profoundly inspiring and informative environment that has already had far reaching impacts in many areas of my life. Colette inspired me to accept lessons from grief, to discover that I actually could alchemize disempowering moments into profound opportunities for growth. I am blown away by how this class went so deep, helping us to define power, inviting us to share our deepest stories and offering insight into practicing an S/M relationship with the truth — all while making space for needle play demos. What a whirlwind! I am grateful for the scope, breadth and vulnerability of what she and the guest teachers shared. It was so much more than I could have hoped for. My eternal gratitude to Colette and the incredible community of kindhearted, playful and generous people she brings together. Donna Valentina ~ I am just in awe! I’ve done a lot of self development work, courses and workshops for over 10 years. And THIS, IS THE MOST POTENT THING I EVER DONE!!! Thank you Colette ~ You and the community you’re creating is POWERFULLLLL ~~~ AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!! When I say MistressClass changed me, I really do mean it. And to be quite honest the change has been very uncomfortable but at the same time very liberating. Healing is uncomfortable because you have to face the things you’ve been avoiding and running away from all your life. I feel extremely uncomfortable as I shed from my old skin and into a new and more empowered one. But I am grateful. I’m holding in my heart everyone in our class that is also going through deep transformative change. Sending you all so much love. I know I keep saying this but thank you Colette from the bottom of my heart. This work is freaking craaaaaaaazzzzzzzyyyyyyyyyyyyy. Goddess Z ~ Thank you to Colette for her relentless heart & passion in holding space for us. Colette creates a witchy container for us to cast our spells and realise the magick. Her love and adoration for her subs and all of us on our individual journeys is a healing gift to the feminine & our future as humans ♥️ ~Domina Zenith MistressClass is such a powerful experience. It’s the perfect blend of building practical skills as well as diving into higher level concepts around Kink, BDSM, and power exchange. It’s not just a class, it’s a community of like-minded Dommes whom want to discover their power whilst lifting each other up. ~Goddess Faye My experience coming into the class was very open-minded with no expectations. And what I ended up with was such an overflow of certainty of my feminine energy as well as a reminder why I love this community. MistressClass is an amazing experience. The wisdom and skills taught are top notch that not only aid you in your transition as a Domina but these tools also apply in your daily life to reach your goals. Also the access to such a beautiful sisterhood community of wonderful women that are on the path just as you are and want this as much as you do is really unlike any resource of Domme training. I’m so blessed and thankful I did this. ~Onyx Muse Colette, Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge and power through Mistress Class. The proper introduction to what it means to be a Domme has entirely changed my life.. Goddess Lila ~ Hi Colette! Omg thank you! I’m still in disbelief that I’m taking your class. You are a beautiful gem and a angel brought me to you. That’s fucking crazy. I’ve seen a lot of improvement to my days since my first class. I’ve been getting a little comfortable with my humility and shame. Your words really touch my heart and my soul. Thank you so much Domme mom I love you so much! You are a wonderful human being and all the people that’s taking your class are a wonder too! Mistress Bianca ~ This class has been truly inspiring, empowering, and informative! I loved watching the live practice scenes with the subs and all of the wonderful guest appearances! Thank you Mistress Colette for being such a great teacher! ~Goddess Gabriela Grove Dear Colette, I wanted to reach out to you and express my gratitude to you for creating this incredible space filled with so much magic. I’ve gained such an incredible amount of inner wisdom since the beginning of this journey. The first lesson on truth and power has been so impactful to me, and it is the territory I keep navigating as I build more capacity in my system to hold my truth. With love and gratitude, Mistress M ~ MistressClass has radically transformed my whole self, even outside the dungeon. My mindset has never been clearer, my knowledge about becoming a domme has never felt more solid, and I feel like I am able to take on exactly what I want, from here forth. Transformative in all aspect. This class ran like velvet. Lady Wren ~ Colette, MistressClass was a totally unique experience. Your leadership, the generosity of all the guest speakers, and the way in which so many students felt inspired and encouraged to share their experiences were all filled with so much heart. The class is a major contribution and remedy to the alienating aspects of sex work and all healing work that takes place outside of institutions or on the fringes of capitalism. You demystify the domme and ground her into her own personal experience while maintaining a universal perspective. I am so looking forward to your work continuing to flower and to mother all the baby dommes into existence. I am on my way into my first Saturn Return and as I continue to come to voice and find a place for my unique skills and desires I will take the experience of MistressClass with me and all of the opportunities it has afforded my sense of what’s possible. Domina S ~ Before I started MistressClass, I wasn’t sure what to expect –but what I took away was far more valuable and intangible than I would have imagined. I gained greater self-acceptance, confidence, and knowledge on how to pursue my dreams – kinky & beyond. Colette taught me not just the physical aspects of BDSM but helped me gain the confidence to accept and pursue the life I want to lead. Mistress Eve ~ What was offered in MistressClass was something that you can’t look up or find on your own, which was the collected experiences of seasoned Dommes, the opportunity to play with seasoned subs, and the networking potentials of connecting to Colette’s sprawling, worldwide community. This went above and beyond my desires and I feel very satisfied with the outcomes and very blessed by Colette’s generous and astute pedagogical style. Madame X ~ MistressClass is life-changing. You’ll find a power and an awareness of your own destiny, You’ll find desires and abilities you never knew you had. You’ll be transported. You’ll grow. You’ll find the magic that you came for, because Colette is its vehicle. Priestess ~ There were so many valuable elements I learned and will remember form this class. I want to rewatch all the classes again, so I can absorb more information. I loved the camaraderie and support I had with other Dommes. Having the support of other women by my side was really powerful. I’ve mainly had guy friends and very few women friends, but having this sisterhood was very refreshing. I’ve been needing more feminine energy in my life. Connecting with subs was something that pushed me out of my comfort zone. I loved hearing from the guest Dommes in class and their different styles and techniques. I was relieved to know that I don’t have to dress or act a certain way to please my subs. I can be myself and do what pleases me, and try to line that up with people who would be pleased by my desires. Mistress Diana ~ Since MistressClass I’ve experienced massive shifts. I went from being just curious, from working in Honey Birdette selling bondage and lingerie with a passion for something deeper, to actually launching my website and now looking for a commercial space from which I shall operate from as an Energy Worker, Sexual Educator & Diciplinatrix. I am so excited to see what the future holds as my unfolding in these past couples of months has been rapid, but it is the most like myself I have ever felt in my life. Miss Kate ~ My inner Domme had always been there, but it was more like a caged bird gnawing at her bars. MistressClass inspired me to not only free her, but make amends with her in the hopes that, through healing and acceptance, the power my moniker holds will be fully realized. Lady Midnight ~ I am so excited to start my Pro Domme journey!!!!!! I am just so excited to grow, meet more domme sisters, and to keep weaving upon this ever expanding web of powerful femmes. I feel so honored to be part of it. THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING COLETTE <3 How lucky am I to have been part of your first MistressClass. I love you so much. Mistress Crane ~ To say MistressClass is a life-changing experience is an understatement. Under the guidance of Colette as our fierce leader, we peel back the layers and dive deep into our roots to learn and love our story, so can clearly envision our path ahead and have the agency to write our future. Colette holistically weaves BDSM into real-life metaphors for personal change and teaches us to identify our bondages, so we can step into our power. We also learned from several other incredible guest speakers, most of whom were women of color. There was so much richness and diversity in how immersive and integrated the lesson plans and assignments were. Colette has created the safest container and built such a powerful community for us to learn, explore, heal, and grow together. I am forever grateful to be a part of this coven. Empress Tien ~ The class is phenomenal. There was so much more to catch the second time around in the replays and I’ll probably comb through the videos a third time. There were a lot of gold nuggets everywhere throughout the course. Wednesday ~ Colette Pervette is a sensitive, passionate guide for aspiring Dommes. I learned so much about myself, what I desire, and how to bring it forward. ~Bastet Mystique My initial desire when signing up for MistressClass was working to find and harness an inner confidence in order to move forward in my Domme work. Although I was unable to attend the live sessions on account of scheduling conflicts with work and school, the recorded sessions offered great insight and moving conversations that have sparked my convictions once more. Taking this class absolutely aided in reconnecting with my dormant creativity brought about by hesitation and doubt in my craft, and I thank Mistress Colette every day for her fervor and guidance in wanting to assist each and every one of us on our journey. My inner Domme had always been there, but was more like a caged bird gnawing at her bars. MistressClass inspired me to not only free her, but make amends with her through healing and acceptance, the power my moniker holds became fully realized. Lady Alecto ~ My initial desire was to learn how to cultivate my power, and this class absolutely met my desire in that regard. There were so many valuable tools and lessons that were taught to me that will aid me greatly on my quest to put domme energy into my everyday life and to go after what I truly want and desire. Domina Desirae ~ My initial desire for signing up for Mistress Class was to listen to my heart. I had to come out of my shadow (subconscious) and let myself feel what it is like to be dominant (conscious). The class empowered me to let my Domme play. To show up, put myself first and put all the choices on the table. To play in a community of like minded people who are so obsessed with serving others. To have the opportunity to witness myself and others move through the places of a wanna be domme to baby domme to pro domme. Through MistressClass, I gave myself a gift. The gift of letting my dreams guide me. Mistress Arcturus ~ As a new Pro Domme, I came to MistressClass with a desire to learn practical skills and build my confidence. MistressClass did indeed meet this need. I felt a shift in the way I experience my role in difficult situations. For example, if I’m experiencing pain (physical or emotional) in the situation, I look for the ways the situation gives me power, pleasure or pain…or all 3. This for me is so witchy, alchemical, kinky and just plain clever. This process invites me to feel acceptance for my sophisticated animal desires and I’m enjoying getting off on making my “pain” my bitch. I’m finding so much pleasure, joy and vibrancy in this kinky game. I want to play more in these dynamics and feel into being a switch for the mere pleasure of celebrating my existence. Lady Echo ~ Dear Colette, when I enrolled in your course, I wanted to feel less shame, and to feel more comfortable embracing my desires. Mistressclass certainly jerked me onto a more self-affirming rail, as opposed to the sabotaging and neglectful one I was on before. I know I still have a lot of work ahead of me, but I sense the profound shift in me and I am so grateful. I think that taking the class made me more bold, and made me realize just how much control I had over my life. It wasn’t something just aimlessly whipping in the wind, something I had to brace myself for in uncertainty. I could ask for what I wanted, I could put it out there, and I *had* to take control of it to get closer to where I wanted to be. The idea of empowering fantasies, of being inherently perfect, of having so so much power, of examining, exploring, and expressing truth to create a shared reality. These ideas shifted my way of thinking and how I thought of myself. I still struggle to enact them, it’s not always been easy, but it was so so so necessary. Something I needed to hear but never really trusted anyone to tell me. But within the first 10 minutes of talking with you, Colette, I has felt so at ease– on the verge of tears. You saw right through me and cradled me so gently. The environment you created for me, shame-free and honest, is one I now endeavor to create for both myself and everyone I interact with. Lady Layla ~ The concepts and tools were very valuable for me, as well as learning from guest dommes and then connecting with subs. The three were almost like. A flow chart ? Or a cycle? From the tools I learned about myself and what I wanted, and some of why I wanted then and what was holding me back -> from the guest dommes I learned concrete techniques I could use to get what I wanted -> from the subs I not only got what I wanted, but learned more about myself and my wants / desires, which led me back to step 1. It was a very upwards cycle! Mistress Knox ~ My initial desire for signing up for Mistress Class was to listen to my heart. I had to come out of my shadow (subconscious) and let myself feel what it is like to be dominant (conscious). The class empowered me to let my Domme play. To show up, put myself first and put all the choices on the table. To play in a community of like minded people who are so obsessed with serving others. To have the opportunity to witness myself and others move through the places of wanna be domme to baby domme to pro domme was profound. I gave myself a gift. The gift of letting my dreams guide me. Mistress Esmee ~ Having subs involved and being able to witness the structure of a live session was a powerful experience. And I extend my thanks to both those in submissive roles and the Dommes sharing space with them. Being in an area where access to in-person mentorships is almost nonexistent, having the opportunity to “shadow” in a way was a key point towards my learning experience. Goddess Selena ~ One of the most valuable things I took away from MistressClass was the self-inquiry that came with seeing myself reflected in Colette, in her words, in her journey, in her truth. Feeling a total resonance to her and what she does and realising that this is who I am and that I signed up to the course initially out of curiosity and quickly I realised – this is my path, it’s not just about becoming more empowered. I loved the different perspectives from the guest speakers, and the subs. I loved connecting with the subs and just getting insight from several different people and even some of the community. I took so many notes and have formed my profile, name, website, look, language and even obtained clients since starting the course. Aurora Eldora ~ Colette is a legend! ~Queen Valora Sharing and exchanging energies with folks of so many different strokes through this class has really motivated me to delve into the psychology of what’s going on during the theatre of D/s play, especially within myself. I was able to identify and get to know a LOT of new parts of myself that I had never before experienced or had the opportunity to meet. One of the biggest shifts I noticed within myself was I feel a lot more fearlessness about owning my truth, no matter what it is. Thank you so much Colette!! Mistress Cameron ~ Colette, I feel like I’ve had the opportunity to learn the book and heart knowledge from the best Domme instructor the world has yet known, so thank you and a deep bow to you for that. Sweet Lady Laura ~ MistressClass is leaving my mind blown, exceeding anything I could have imagined. So honored to be part of such a powerful and transformative group to fully embody liberate, and elevate the alluring and irresistible power of the divine feminine. Colette, thank you for your supreme insight, intelligence, encouragement, compassion, conviction, and most importantly your heart and vulnerability. I needed this way more than I knew, and it’s so beautiful to connect with so many other dedicated Femmes feeling the same way. It felt like a religious experience. It was honoring and inspiring to relate to so many other women and allow myself to not feel alone in transmuting. the power in rising from shared wounds. The spiritual aspect of this practice is exactly what I called out to find me. Colette, you are such a beautiful woman inside and out. You set my soul on fire to light my path again. I can’t wait for this new chapter of my life and self realization. Eternal gratitude for you and the work you do. ~Goddess Kali If you’re ready to join MistressClass, just say[ yes to your desire..](https://evolvingradical.com/mistressclass/) [Y E S](https://evolvingradical.com/mistressclass/ "Play How") [I’M SO READY](https://evolvingradical.com/mistressclass/ "Play How") To go back to where you were [click here](https://www.pervette.com/mistressclass/ "Mistressclass") --- ### [Connect](https://www.pervette.com/connect/) **Published:** July 28, 2023 **Author:** Colette Pervette **Content:** Do you have a burning desire to connect with me? If you would like to see what happens when our paths cross You can email me at [colette at pervette dot com](colette@pervette.com) Or feel free to drop me a line.. Your name Your email Subject Your message you want more clues and news in your inbox to keep going down this rabbithole.. Δ --- ### [submission portal](https://www.pervette.com/submission-portal/) **Published:** September 30, 2019 **Author:** Colette Pervette **Content:** So you want to submit to me? Then go ahead, my dear, submit.. A lovely letter, introducing yourself to me along with your fantasy.. . Do take your time and do this with care Because I’m a bookish Mistress And the way to my heart and kinky lair Is a thoughtful note with a devotional flare . So let it flow in the lines below If your thoughts and deeds can make me smile Then my reply to you might not take a while.. . Enjoy this first step of *submitting* to me.. Your name Your e-mail Your phone number for reference only. I will not call unless agreed upon Your age Your occupation Your location Begin with a thoughtful introduction. Then tell me your fantasies In other words, what would you like to explore with me? Describe your past bdsm experiences and your experience level Who have you played with before? (Do include their name, website & email) Are you into pain? If so, how much? NoneLightMediumHeavy Tell me your limits and boundaries (and medical conditions, if any) What days and times are you available for a session (the wider the range the better) How long you would like our playtime to be? My tribute rate is 1000 per hour, with a two hour minimum How did you find me? What drew you to me? Is there anything else you would like to share? I am 21 and over and I understand that no illegal activity of any kind is offered or implied. you want more clues and news in your inbox to keep going down this rabbithole.. Δ --- ### [Submit your dream](https://www.pervette.com/submit-your-dream/) **Published:** February 15, 2021 **Author:** Colette Pervette **Content:** If you want to begin the journey of getting to know your power Then this is for you.. and your wildest dream.. your name and email you're open to sharing your dream anonymously on pervette you want more clues and news in your inbox to keep going down this rabbithole.. Δ and so you want to know what happens next when you follow your desires [and submit to me..](https://www.pervette.com/submission-portal/ "submission portal") --- ### [infinite choices](https://www.pervette.com/infinite-choices/) **Published:** February 9, 2023 **Author:** Colette Pervette **Content:** Thank you for saying yes. Let’s play an infinite game.. We can [start with your desire…](https://www.pervette.com/submit-your-dream/ "Submit your dream") To[ become the Mistress of your destiny.](https://www.pervette.com/mistressclass/ "Mistressclass") Or maybe you want to [submit to the Dominatrix of your fantasy](https://www.pervette.com/submission-portal/ "submission portal"). The choice is yours.. --- ### [MistressClass Domme Bootcamp](https://www.pervette.com/mistressclass-domme-bootcamp/) **Published:** June 21, 2023 **Author:** Colette Pervette **Content:** # MistressClass Domme Bootcamp ### A Dominatrix Training Accelerator #### Bay Area, CA If you feel the call to step into the dungeon and learn the ropes If you want to see how your inner Domme comes out when the sub shows up If you want to learn fast by playing hard with devoted subs Then you’re ready for.. . ### MistressClass Domme Bootcamp A Domme Training Weekend Intensive Where you’ll learn the technical skills and practice the art of Female Domination ~ The Dominatrix is the magician. She knows how to make something out of nothing. She works with dreams and fantasies and weaves them into reality. The Domme has a wide toolkit and bag of tricks to draw from as She knows what she wants and She knows how to get it. ~ MistressClass Domme Bootcamp is an in-person training where you’ll be working closely with Mistress Colette and guest Professional Dommes as you learn the essential skills of a Dominatrix and play and practice with willing subs at your feet. ~ At the MistressClass Domme Bootcamp, you’ll experience 3 transformational days of FemDomme training that will help you gain the skills to become the Dominatrix of your vision and up-level your craft and confidence in your power exchange play. Throughout the weekend, you’ll learn the essential and advanced skills of a Domme, shadow live scenes and practice and play with subs. In MistressClass you’ll be learning the craft of the Dominatrix: fantasy, power, play and transformation. You’ll develop a new magnetic alter ego, step into your sensual power as you step into a fully equipped dungeon and play with devoted subs. You’ll also be exploring the wide range of tools and practices a Dominatrix utilizes to create deep and meaningful play for herself and her subs. ~ **Learn the essential skills and techniques in:** Verbal domination, humiliation and degradation Rope bondage and Shibari ties Predicament bondage Tease and denial Chastity play Electoplay Strap-on play Sensation play Foot & leg worship CBT and nipple torture Impact play – flogging, singletail, caning and more **What you’ll learn:** Create a safe space to deepen intimacy and erotic play Bring out the magnetic and powerful side of yourself in the bedroom, dungeon and beyond Craft a deep and meaningful arc/journey in erotic play The sacred healing art of kink Find your voice and lead with your desire Turn erotic fantasies into reality Build trust and intimacy in power exchange (and all relationships) Master power dynamics in and outside the dungeon Skillful communication of your desires, feelings and boundaries Bring playmates deep into subspace and create a cathartic release Learn the fundamentals of starting your business and career as a pro Domme Gain the keys and secrets to lifelong play and pro Domme success ~ **What You’ll Receive** 3 Days of FemDom Training Welcome Dinner with private chef Healthy lunch meals, snacks and libations Domme Photoshoot to build your portfolio Learn and play in a fully equipped private dungeon Live shadow session demos with subs Hands-on practice with seasoned subs Dommework assignments and creative challenges Learn kink skills and gain pro-tips from guest Dominatrixes Connect in a Domme sisterhood community through the MistressClass Telegram group and Discord server Invitation to the MistressClass IRL Domme Tea Party MistressClass Domme certificate designed by Alphachanneling MistressClass gift package which includes the Pervette tote bag, lace veil, jute rope, and other kinky goodies ~ ### **Dates and Times** **Domme Bootcamp Training** Friday, 4-9pm Saturday, 10am-6pm Sunday, 10am-7pm ~ **Domme Tea Party** Saturday, Aug. 19th 6pm-12am ### **Location** The Domme Bootcamp will be hosted at a luxurious hilltop mansion and fully equipped dungeon in Bay Area, California --- ### [Submission](https://www.pervette.com/submission-2/) **Published:** June 23, 2023 **Author:** Colette Pervette **Content:** Your name Your e-mail Your phone number for reference only. I will not call unless agreed upon Your age Your occupation Your location Begin with a thoughtful introduction. Then tell me your fantasies In other words, what would you like to explore with me? Describe your past bdsm experiences and your experience level Who have you played with before? (Do include their name, website & email) Are you into pain? If so, how much? NoneLightMediumHeavy Tell me your limits and boundaries (and medical conditions, if any) What days and times are you available for a session (the wider the range the better) How long you would like our playtime to be? My tribute rate is 1000 per hour, with a two hour minimum How did you find me? What drew you to me? Is there anything else you would like to share? I am 21 and over and I understand that no illegal activity of any kind is offered or implied. you want more clues and news in your inbox to keep going down this rabbithole.. Δ testing text --- ### [Lunch with L](https://www.pervette.com/lunch-with-l/) **Published:** August 3, 2022 **Author:** Colette Pervette **Content:** [http://www.pervette.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/ZOOM0029\_LunchwithL.mp3](http://www.pervette.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/ZOOM0029_LunchwithL.mp3) You meet L at Smart Alec’s on Telegraph. You haven’t seen her in years. Strange how she faded away after being roommates with you sophomore year at UCLA and now 3 years later, here you both are reconnecting in Berkeley. Something was in the air, It felt like many of your friends from UCLA were moving up to the Bay right after college. Should you get a chicken sandwich? It was a gray and windy day in March, so you both decided to get something cozy, like the corn chowder with corn bread on the side. L tells you that she started working at the Gates, which was this house of domination in the East Bay, where your mutual friend, Z, started working at just a few months ago but got fired from soon after. How is it being a Dominatrix? I mean, what do you do with your clients? It’s fun, she says, Like today I got to tie my sub up, put clothespins on his nipples, spanked him, pissed on him, then I put on a strap-on and fucked him in the ass. What? Wow. Really? That was your day today? That’s so crazy. Yeah. Oh hey, let me pay for this, she insisted as the total for our meal got rung up for $12. She pulled out of her wallet a hundred dollar bill. Oh wow. Oh yeah, she noticed you staring at her Benjamin, it’s kinda this new problem I have now. Since clients pay me in cash I have to break these hundred dollar bills at random places. Wow. You think to yourself. You love that this is her new problem. And you also love that this is the story that she gets to tell when she talks about her day at the dungeon, like it’s another day at the office.[1](javascript:void(0))on acid? You want problems like that. You want to tell stories like that. So wait, how did you get started at the Gates? Did you just go in for an interview? --- ### [And so it begins](https://www.pervette.com/and-so-it-begins/) **Published:** July 16, 2022 **Author:** Colette Pervette **Content:** [http://www.pervette.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/ZOOM0015\_Yourereadingthis.mp3](http://www.pervette.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/ZOOM0015_Yourereadingthis.mp3) You’re reading these words. And it’s making you think.[1](javascript:void(0))Who writes in second person? Well, this is different. You like different. Everything is so predictable these days. Nothing on the internet surprises you anymore.[2](javascript:void(0))well, except for unexpected drama and reality shows about sex cults This however is different. You haven’t seen anything like this before. It makes you wonder, what’s going on?[3](javascript:void(0))If you read between the lines, this feels like an interesting story that’s about to be told. And it’s somehow suggested that you’re actually on the verge of becoming a part of this story if you choose…to make some interesting choices [You don’t have time to think too much about this. You have plans to have lunch with your friend in a bit, so you get ready and take off to see her..](https://www.pervette.com/lunch-with-l/ "Lunch with L") This is pretty weird. But you’re down. Let’s get weirder. --- ### [Thank you for sharing your dream](https://www.pervette.com/thank-you-for-sharing-your-dream/) **Published:** February 9, 2023 **Author:** Colette Pervette **Content:** Thank you for sharing your dream with me. I hope that in putting it into words and putting it out there You begin to feel the importance of this dream. It’s meant to take you somewhere Unknown. This is where your adventure begins.. In exploring yourself and finding your own path.. You may ask How do you find your path? Remember that: It’s not what you think, it’s how you feel. Feel your way to yes.. Follow your pleasure Follow what makes your body and soul radiate.. It’s how you keep saying yes to the signs that guide you closer to your heart’s desire. Remember this: path within, [signposts without.](https://www.pervette.com/to-the-path/ "To the path") You may get lost many times, to find your way, that’s okay.. Just keep feeling your way.. Good luck.. --- ### [Yes](https://www.pervette.com/yes/) **Published:** June 24, 2018 **Author:** Colette Pervette **Content:** ### [**Y E S**](https://www.pervette.com/infinite-choices/ "infinite choices") If you’re on your phone right now[1](javascript:void(0))You can read me like a little black book with pink text. But if you’re on your computer, you’ll get the bigger (and sometimes moving) picture.… --- ### [thoughts](https://www.pervette.com/thoughts-2/) **Published:** July 15, 2022 **Author:** Colette Pervette **Content:** The highest form of intelligence is observation without evaluation[1](javascript:void(0))This is from Krishnamurti quoted in the book Non-Violent Communication by Marshall Rosenburg. It takes a moment for it to sink in, but when it does, it’s a truism that can’t be denied. The highest form of intelligence is to perceive without judgment. For many that’s really hard to do. We’re so quick to judge ourselves and the world around us. This is good, that is bad. That’s right/wrong. That’s normal/crazy.. Can we really perceive without judgment? We can. But it’s a challenge. To become aware of our judgments. It’s a practice. To become aware of our judgments. It’s a transformation. To become aware of our judgments. It’s an evolution.. can we evolve to a place within ourselves and in this world where we can perceive without judgment? Can we think, act and speak without judgment? Can we transcend our conditioned binary ways of thinking? But why should we? To judge something is to cease to understand it[2](javascript:void(0))Or another way to put it is judgment kills your curiosity and capacity to learn, change and grow. Judgment stops you from learning about and understanding the thing that you are judging. A judgement is a label and a wall that you put up between yourself and the thing you’re judging. So if you judge another, you will cease to truly understand them. If you judge yourself, you cease to know and explore yourself. We judge what we don’t know. We don’t know or understand what we judge. Therefore judgment is the greatest limiter to learning and growth. Then how do we stop judging? The antidote to judgment is curiosity[3](javascript:void(0))Instead of jumping to judgment-based conclusions, ask questions. Ask why? Ask how? This one radical act will change you. And your world. It will set you on a path of unending adventures of exploring yourself and the world around you. When you let your judgment guide you, it leads you to dead ends and infinite loops in your mind and world. When you let your curiosity guide you, this will lead you to unknown parts of yourself and the world beyond you and your imagination. This will expand your perspectives, your experiences and your ways of knowing and growing The key that unlocks you and the world around you is to approach everything with an open heart and mind[4](javascript:void(0))Can you approach the unknown with compassion and curiosity? If you can, you hold the key to infinite possibilities.. --- ### [thoughts](https://www.pervette.com/thoughts/) **Published:** July 16, 2022 **Author:** Colette Pervette **Content:** We cannot change the world by a new plan, project or idea. We cannot even change other people by our convictions, stories, advice and proposals, but we can offer a space where people are encouraged to disarm themselves, lay aside their occupations and preoccupations and listen with attention and care to the voices speaking in their own center.[1](javascript:void(0))Henri Nouwen . Work of seeing is done. Now practice heart-work. . .[2](javascript:void(0))Rilke ---