How is it that in bondage you feel free?
 
How is it that in pain you feel pleasure?
 
How is it that in submission you feel your power?
 
That’s the beauty of bdsm. 
 
In this sacred space, all dualities dissolve.
 
There is no
good/bad,
right/wrong,
male/female,
pain/pleasure..
 
There is no
either/or
In BDSM
 
You get to experience ALL.
.
nothing
and
EVERYTHING
.
You get to experience the totality of it all.
.
 
So much of how we move through and see the world is through a binary lens of either/or.
 
.
 
We have been conditioned to strive for certain things:
beauty, success, money, happiness, 
We have also been conditioned to avoid certain things:
pain, humiliation, submission, the “other” gender
 
But what it does is that it cuts us off from experiencing the wholeness of who we are.
 
So to find our balance
Our subconcious drives us to crave and desire those suppressed parts of ourselves that long to be expressed.
.
 
Why do women have rape fantasies?
Why does a man want to feminized?
 
Why do you want to someone to take control over your mind and body?
 
Why does it feel good to be hurt by someone you desire?
 
Why do we get off in these ways?
 
 
 
A lot of us may have these drives and not know why.
 
Some of us may seek out these experiences, feel a release from them and still not know why we are driven towards them.
 
.
 
I’ve spent a lot of my life playing out these fantasies (mostly in my head at first) and I also have spent the past 14 years doing this professionally. And it’s only in the last 4 years have I begun to examine the why of what I do.
 
.
 
What I come to realize is this:
 
Everything that we’re supposed to learn in life can be learned somatically/viscerally/with our bodies in a BDSM session.
 
.
The Dominatrix is an archetype for the Universe/God/Goddess/All Powerful
 
.
She is teaching you everything  you need to know in this lifetime to get at the cutting edge of your evolution.
 
By submitting to Her, you are elevating Her to a place where She can teach you your life lessons.
 
.
 
Here she teaches you how to open up.
 
How to share all of yourself
 
Especially the parts that you’ve kept secret.
 
So you can experience what it feels like to be fully seen, heard, accepted and loved for all of who you are, especially your shadow self.
 
 
Here she teaches you how to
strip your layers of ego.
 
The Mistress does not care who you are (in your everyday world).
 
You are no longer defined by your name, your gender, your job, your relationships, your reputation, your possessions, your social status
 
You are truly free 
 
To be whomever you and your Mistress desire you to be.
.
You are truly free to be both nothing and everything.
 
.
 
You let go. 
 
And you allow yourself to accept everything that comes to you.
 
Without judgement.
 
You’re not thinking: I like this, I want more of this, I don’t want this, I want this other thing.
 
That’s the point
You’re not thinking, you’re not desiring, you’re not clinging.
 
You surrender.
 
You are learning how to not think (of yourself).
You are learning how to turn off your mind, that brainy thing that loves to control you and the world around you. That thing that overthinks and takes you out of the moment.
 
You are turning that part off. And activating your sense body. 
 
That other part of you that has a quiet divine intelligence.
 
.
When you surrender, you’re listening with your body.
And you’re feeling everything.
.
 
And at every point you are learning how to 
 
let go
let go
let go
 
 
You don’t run away 
You let yourself expereince everything
You accept everything from Her, the Universe
 
You allow yourself to experience the other side: pain, humiliation, degradation, submission, the masculine, the feminine, 
 
You allow yourself to experience everything
 
Without judgment
 
You allow yourself to just feel, to just be
 
Nothing 
 
And 
 
Everything
.
 
You allow yourself to not know 
 
what comes next
 
You give in, you give yourself to the moment, 
 
And you feel your way though it.
 
Until you feel your release.
 
And that’s how you learn to
 
Follow your bliss.
 
 
That is life.
 
That is love.
 
Becuase love is life.
 
And to learn how to love
Is to learn how to live.
 
We tend to use our mind to understand what love is.
 
But our mind forgets 
 
The body knows.
 
The heart knows.
 
Our sex knows.
.
That’s the beauty of BDSM.
You are learning how to learn
With your body.
Again.
.
.
You can only learn so much with your mind.
You can tell your mind to let go.
To not think like that.
To change.
.
But
The mind is only one part of the whole.
.
In order to learn the most valuable lessons in life
You have to learn them through both your mind and body.
.
Intellectually
we know we’re supposed to learn
how to trust
to let go
to be open to newness
.
It’s one thing to know with your mind
and it’s another thing
to know with your body
.
In bdsm (and life) you learn through direct experiences.
.
You can tell yourself to let go
You almost can’t learn that just by knowing or saying those words.
You learn by practicing how to
let go.
.
You learn how to let go when you can learn how to trust.
And can’t learn how to trust alone.
In bdsm, you can’t do it alone.
In love, you can’t do it alone.
.
There are places you can’t go alone.
To go deep, you need someone you can trust
To help you see beyond yourself
To go far out, you need someone you can trust
To push you through your limits..
To go deep and far out, you need someone you can trust
To take you there.