Right now..

You just sat down at your favorite writing table in the breakfast nook of your sanctuary, which happens to be a very large house for one person. It’s filled with 13 Guanyin statues and sits at the top of Berkeley hills.  You call this house Mupp HQ and the table that you’re at the round table because it’s round, and when you want to get serious work done, you sit down right here, on the seat that’s facing the glass door looking out into the trees.

Anyways, you’re making yourself a cup of tea that has has 6 different types of Dragon Herbs tea in it. You think this tea will help you stay focused, or at least hold you over till noon, which is when you break your fast, because you’re hip to the current fad and miracle of  intermittent fasting. And also because you’re really into tea.

You feel like you can describe this tranquil setting in crazy detail, because you’re a maximalist in everything and you’re overwhelmed with gratitude by how lucky you are that you’re right here right now writing this to yourself, but you’re trying not to get carried away by this moment because you have serious work to do.

You got just done masturbating while reading Neil Patrick Harris’ Choose Your Own Autobiography (btw your two favorite pastimes combined = crazy orgasmic bliss).

You call your masturbations sex magick ritual (SMR for short) now because you developed the habit of visualizing and feeling yourself achieving your wildest dreams when you come. And also because SMR just sounds more fruitful and less masturbatory than masturbation (that mouthy word has never really rolled off your tongue well).

Anyways, you’re feeling a mixture of things:

bliss-from the orgasm

gratitude-that Neil Patrick Harris wrote that hilarious book which is inspiring you to write your own choose your own autobiography that you’re actually writing (and reading) right now

excitement-because that’s your everyday baseline and also because you have a really special birthday party coming up

and just the slightest bit of anxiety- because you’re looking at your project planner and started counting backwards from your deadline, you have 11 days left, you wonder, can you pull this off?


If you want find out what this thing is that you’re trying to pull off, click here

If you want to know in juicy details what you were was visualizing during your crazy amazing orgasm in your SMR, click here

If you want to know how you got here in this giant house that you call Mupp HQ,

If you want to know why you call you your house Mupp HQ

If you want to say a prayer to Guanyin and take a little nibble from a chocolate mushroom because you’ve been micro-dosing again

If you want to know what exactly you put in your tea