“There are treasures inside you. Let them out…”

Dear Domina Colette,

I’ve read and followed your content on various social media for at least a few years. It’s been transfixing. What’s been the most interesting, however, are the recent and personal revelations on your pervette.com page.

The reason I’m writing is to encourage and support you. From my distance, it seems that you have a hang-up about your writing and therefore don’t produce as much as you’d like. I can tell you for a fact that a lot of people like me would love to read more of your writing.

The overriding idea I’d like to convey is that there are treasures inside of you that you should let out. And that means setting aside some of what you think is bad about your writing and pushing it out anyways. When I read your page I can feel you wanting to let things out but holding them back. It feels tangible and tense, I always feel like the floodgates will be opened with the next blog of your I read. That’s because the value of putting your ideas out there is far too great than hiccups of grammar or phrasing or anything at all other than your ideas.

Through your work, you help people learn about themselves and how to reveal their treasures. You already have what you need inside, we all hope you’ll show it.

When I first followed you on social media it was for a very blunt reason — you were the hottest real dominatrix I’d come across on the internet. If you like dominatrixes, the hottest one is worth checking out and following, right? The question always lingered “What’s she like in her personal life. Is she smart? Is she deep?” But I thought best to not answer those questions. 99 times out of 100, learning more about someone would reveal that the symbol of you — your image on the internet — was greater than the real you. It would reveal that you aren’t the leader you might appear to be. However, based on your pieces of writing so far, I think you are the leader you appear to be in your peerless images.

There is a tremendous space of opportunity that needs to be filled with you’re doing. Aristotle’s ethics are very oriented towards maximizing human flourishing through attaining virtues that led to an individual’s greatest actualization. In his ethical theories he talked about the phronimos as the moral expert for a particular area, someone who had broken new ground and established a new language in a given area of life. He or she was the intuitively identified master, the Michael Jordan of some realm of life, the person who broke through so many barriers and rose so high that anyone in that space had to learn from and respect her in order to have any chance of achieving happiness and success.

There is not a phronimos of kink. It’s taboo and explored only at the shallowest depths. It needs a Diotima that guides the discussion and helps us understand this form of love by showing people how what they feel is tied to what we are as humans. There is no one connecting the dots on this and leading the way of explaining these expressions, though it seems you chose to start down this path with pervette.com.

Blazing this trail does not require you to be a perfect writer. To be honest, we are all going to be far too concerned with the fact that the trail is being opened up and the pathways between different ideas are being created to care about how it’s written. And you will find your voice anyways. There’s no established language to write what you need to write and express because it hasn’t been done yet. Perhaps you can’t find the words because the words are in you, not in someone else’s style or way of writing.

Be the phronimos. I have thought a lot about what in human evolution makes us this way and have my own theories. But I’m not you — I’ve not lived it. It’s going to be rough and reckless when the floodgates open at the beginning. I’m sure what’s in your mind will not slide easily onto paper. Don’t force it to be neat, style will follow substance over time. Take the chance and create the language with which the rest of us will speak and live.

Sincerely,

Michael

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Dear Michael,

I’m so curious to know. How did you did climb inside my head? Your letter gave me goosebumps. Maybe because I do have these hopes that my ideas matter. And maybe I do have these fears that the way I package them matters even more. And so thank you, for quieting down my fears and waking up my hopes. And doubly thank you, for diagnosing these strange symptoms that I’ve been experiencing. Yes I do have this burning feeling inside me. It’s the feeling of knowing why I’m here. And I do have these visions (or hallucinations). I can see myself leading people through darkness into the light. I thought a new word had to be coined for what I wanted to be: an “Educatrix.” But now I know that word already existed: Phronimos.

A-ha moments about kink and life come to me at random hours, when I’m driving, in session, orgasming, sleeping, and I’ve been jotting all of them down on post-it notes and notebooks. And letting them pile up. I guess I was waiting for something. For my writing to get better? Or maybe I was waiting for a letter like yours. To help me see that the ‘why’ behind my writing is wider than myself. So thank you, for expanding that why and telling me that you need me to write. As I will go where I’m needed.

Okay. If you’re ready for it, here goes everything I have inside…

Colette

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